New here...

by hereiam! 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • hereiam!
    hereiam!

    Hi everyone. Sorry if this starts off as a kind of a downer.

    I am 29, and my husband and I have stopped going to meetings since last October. We live in Mexico and used to attend the english. Long story short, after realizing how many much we've been lied to we stopped going to our meetings, moved out of the territory, switched to spanish, and after a month of attending just vanished. We moved to another state and now no one has a clue where we are and its pretty impossilbe to find us, so leaving went really smooth (easy to do in Mexico, espeically with the language switch me made..) and we've lived since November without a single interferance and in peace. My husband has had absolutly no problem moving on, he's been somewhat honest with his witness family and they take it ok. He also has kept in tact his strong sense of spirituality and thrives on reading the bible and discovering "new truths". I on the other hand have not had it so easy. I cannot get over the hurt, I obsess (even to the point of having reaccuring nightmares) about how my family will treat me if they find out. I have a HUGE family (immediate, cousins, aunts grandparents, ect..) that are all witnesses and I know will disown me the instant they find anything out. They are all either fanatical or sincerly loyal to the org. I am so miserable I have even lost the ability to pray, I've lost my faith, have no desire for "everlasting life", and can't talk to my husband about it since he doesn't understand and would be disappointed in me. What makes this even more excruciating (sorry if I can't spell..) for me is since we found the "truth" we immediatly wanted to have a baby. (That was one of our "sacrifices" we were going to make for the org..) and so now I'm 6 moths pregnant and my emotions are 1000 times worse about the whole matter. I feel like this baby is my only reason for living and I feel so guilty I can't be in a more normal mindset as I bring this child into the world. I have a lifelong history of major depression and it seems like its starting to come back and I'm freaked. I get all these emials from my family asking about my congregation, which sisters are going to help me out when I have this baby, ect.. and I just can't respond because I don't want to lie or tell the truth! I'm constantly in mental agony about not being a witness anymore I honestly can't say I'm happier since I left. I was miserable then, and now I feel like I'm in a different kind of prison. Plus living in a foreign country makes me more lonley than I can say, and I can't figure out how to make "real" friends, since I've never done it. I feel like this is more a vent than anything, but I don't know what to say or do. Its still all so new to me and I feel like saying screw everyone. I hate it. I'm so depressed. I'm sorry this is so negative but I needed to reach out to someone somehow. Please let me know your thoughts about my situations if you can sort of relate. I want to find my way to be happy but I'm terrified and lost.

    Thank you for your hearing ear.

  • nugget
    nugget

    Welcome from Nugget and cantleave.

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    Welcome! Hope you'll stay and chat with us.

  • cyberjesus
    cyberjesus

    Welcome, where in mexico did you leave? My father is still an elder in an english congregation over there :-) you might even know him.

    Anyway stay put, read read read this website is the only therapy some of us have. Have you read Raymond Franz's books? That helps alot.

    PM if you need to talk. Good luck to you and your husband

  • babygirl30
    babygirl30

    WELCOME! Remeber that you ARE 'hormonal' in a sense - being pregnant and all. SO your emotions are probably stronger then normal.

    On the other hand, I can relate to the ANGER at learning that all you were taught is NOT true and that admitting you don't believe anymore can and will alienate you from your entire family. It's scarey, it's frustrating, and it would make anyone angry. It's NORMAL!

  • JWoods
    JWoods

    Welcome -

    One positive thing to remember is that the child will be raised free of the witnesses and their cult control system!

  • Heaven
    Heaven

    Welcome to JWN, hereiam!. Congratulations on your pregnancy! I am glad you and your hubby saw the lies and are no longer in the organization. Depression is a tough thing to deal with in life. The WTS doesn't help with this at all. Is it possible for you to seek counseling?

    Making friends is difficult for people who have been indoctrinated. One method is to join a group that you have a common interest with. Since you are going to be a new Mom, one suggestion would be to join a group of expecting mothers for some support. If there aren't any of these in your area, maybe sign up to do a hobby or volunteer. Getting out and meeting new people with similar interests is how you can make friends.

  • hereiam!
    hereiam!

    Thank you for all being so welcoming! I appreciate it. Its good to know that it is normal to go through all these feelings after leaving. I am so greatful we can raise our kid in a nuturing enviroment! Nice to meet everyone. :)

  • NiceDream
    NiceDream

    Sending you a hug.

    I had depression in my last trimester, and struggled with PPD, so if you would like to PM me please do. I'm happy to say it gets better.

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    Welcome HereIam, it's great you and your husband left together. We did the same thing. That is a huge blessing. Congratulations on your little one.

    Don't worry about your negative feelings. You're among the right people here. They have lots of wisdom to help us get through the various phases of leaving the religion. You will be fine.

    Cult Classic

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit