Your remark about the "rules" of the South made me smile.
Oh, yes, my sister (peace, Miz Sylv!)... you know... the language of the "switch" - LOLOLOLOLOLOL! No, seriously, my folks didn't tolerate "unladylike" behavior... and "mouth" - LOLOLOLOL! And growing up in Cali-forni... well, you know the rest... was HARD! Even now, my "manners" throw a LOT of folks off ("she thinks she's"... well, whatever it is they thought I thought I was - LOL!).
Manners are really not something indigenous to California, I've learned. It's really more of a very informal "free for all" as far as what folks say to and about others out here - LOLOLOLOL! I never really get caught up in such stuff, though, because the "rules" are ingrained!
Peace!
SA, on her own...