May he and you find peace, Tammy.
Blessed be.
Sylvia
Feeling down
by tec 58 Replies latest social family
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compound complex
Be assured of our love and concern, dear TEC.
I, too, was a victim of bullying, in part, because of my appearance and ...
Loving your kids no matter what is key, IMHO.
Wishing and hoping the best for you and your dear son. I survived the bullying and consequent anger - I got counseling and it HELPED!
Love,
CoCo
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shamus100
One day at a time love. Tomorrow will be better.
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miseryloveselders
After a bad day at work, or a long week at work, I say to myself, "boy I wish I was in high school or middle school again." Then I come across a thread like this, and the rough memories come back. That time frame is so awkward. I'm glad we don't have grow up twice. My Dad was always like, "you defend yourself when you have to." Translation:whoop his a$$. My Mom was like ,"make Jehovah happy." Well, Dad's argument won. There's something that can be said for a kid's self esteem the first time he makes an example out of someone in front of other potential predators. I guess its coming into your own as a man. Not saying it makes it right, just sayin. Then there's the fitting in with the predators. You made an example out of one of em, and now your becoming one to fit in. Using their slang, cussin like a sailor, saggin my pants, wearing certain colors. The whole time my mother was losing sleep over it. I wouldnt come home till 2 or 3 in the morning, and she'd be stressing. Dad would flip on me later. He didnt care until, she started worrying him.
Your right too Tec, the whole time I was miserable too when going through that stage. I thought I was having fun with my friends back then. That was no fun looking back at it. If I could go back, knowing what I know now.........wow. I know its cliched to say that, but its so truthful when as an adult, one looks back. Miserable time frame. Why do high school comedies, and other TV shows for young adults make it seem like the time of your life?
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snowbird
My youngest g'son had a fight this evening.
I heard he kicked butt!
Dad is gone, and the predators are coming out of the woodwork.
Sylvia
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tec
Thanks everyone.
Bluecanary - I'm going to check that book out tomorrow. I've never even heard of it. My son is eleven by the way.
CoCo - Thanks for sharing. I've just been assuming that most of his anger comes from having been bullied, but I don't know anyone who has gone through this as a child. He's the smallest kid in his class, and smaller even than the grade beneath them. He usually can't keep up with the sports and games the others play. I'm glad you made it, and that the counseling helped.
Shamus - One day at a time is the only way to keep sanity in things like this. Thanks for the kindness.
Miseryloveselders - Everyone is helping with their stories, so thanks so much for sharing your experience too. And I would never, ever, want to go back and do high school over again. I wasn't bullied or anything, but it was just so awkward and awful and full of pretense. Maybe those high school comedies are made by people who were homeschooled!
to all of you.
Tammy
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tec
Sylvia - Oh no! Not about the butt-kicking. Good for him. But that he has to do this after losing his Dad.
Tammy
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beksbks
Geez Misery, for some reason I pictured you as a middle aged woman, you're obviously a young man. Sorry you're welcome to kick my a$$.
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mrsjones5
I my son used to get bullied in jr high, reasons why: he's kinda goofy, but sweet and not a fighter unless he has to. The school tried to blame him saying that he had an anger problem - wouldn't you be angry if someone keeps picking on you and no makes that person stop? So we told him how to handle himself and not to start anything on campus or they would blame him. I have to say at this point that my son went to a majority white school in the suburbs of Indianapolis, not too many black kids went there so he stood out and became a target.
Now my son is a sophomore in high school, stands 6'1", 185 lbs. No one messes with him. He's still a goofy kid, a good kid but he's learned how to handle himself and neutralize bullies. Oh and he goes to a more diverse high school now.
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snowbird
I'm secretly proud of him.
I think the bully was taken aback by the ferocity with which he defended himself!
Pent up frustration and grief ...
Sylvia