Okay, Someone "Enlighten" Me, Please...

by AGuest 43 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  AGuest

  and may you all have peace!

  I would like to understand, please, if someone cal help me:

  If, when you come OUT of "her," the most glaring and obvious of things that with you is anger, hatred, intolerance, irritability, deceit, loose conduct (and I mean the really loose, not just the typical) and things like these... such that when you communicate with others, including but not necessarily those still IN "her"... these things a manifest... are you proving "her" right... that life IS "better" on the inside, at least as far as "they" can "see" it?

  Wouldn't your JOY... calm, peace, tranquility, serenity, happiness, JOY... at where you are NOW (i.e., outside of "her")... regardless of how you got there, what you're doing, and where you're going... be a BETTER testament? If all they ever see or hear of you IS your DISSATISFACTION with your life... such as it is NOW... because of her... aren't you really only proving "them" right... that it really IS "miserable" on the outside, that you're only "finding fault"... and that one WOULD actually be better off "inside" (even if you know that's a lie)?

  I think I recall a saying that goes something like "living GOOD... is the best revenge" or something like that. Why would you WANT them to see you sweat? Why are you SWEATING?

  I'm just asking. I mean, it seems to ME that if you at least had SOME modicum if happiness while IN "her"... but absolutely NONE now (or, at least, it doesn't appear to others that you do)... what really was the purpose in leaving? To be "really" free? But hasn't your anger, hatred, deceit, chagrin, and others things now only taken her place... and enslaved you all over again?

  People ridicule me for my believe in my God. So be it. I would MUCH rather be the HAPPY, JOYFUL, PEACEFUL, LOVING and LOVED... "lunatic" that I am... that the dark, hard, calloused, bitter, sour, rankled, carbunkle some of "us" appear to have turned out to me. Truly.

  Call me what you will... but whatever MY "work," I AM most joyful at it!

  Peace.

  A VERY joyful slave of Christ,

  SA
• 

  Quandry

  I don't think I really understood what you are asking. Are you saying that the JWs are happy and that we should all go back?

  I will readily admit to bitterness, because I was foolish enough to get involved with the JWs over thirty years ago. I didn't read books other than the ones published by the WT, didn't finish my education, didn't go on vacation much (low paying jobs, always in service on weekends) and I distanced myself greatly from my parents, who are now dead, and I can't tell them I'm no longer "in" and spend the Christmases and birthdays with them that they missed with me and my family.

  It is getting better for me after some five years. I try to keep myself very busy so I don't have time to think about it so much.

  I would like to not be bitter, and am working on it. Deceit? Where do you get that one? I no longer try to convince myself that the flip-flops over Sodom and Gomorrah, and the changing "generation" explanations are "new light" from God.
• 

  ESTEE

  AGuest,

  I was miserable as a jw and that jw life was making me mentally sick. I am grateful that the elders gave me the "boot" because it was just the thing I needed to get on with my life...

  That jw religion sure messes up the mind. I have learned to function much more normally than I ever did while being a pent-up, elder-pleasing, brainwashed jw, thanks to years of therapy. And dancing.

  My life has improved greatly since being disfellowshipped.

  ESTEE
• 

  AGuest

  I don't think I really understood what you are asking. Are you saying that the JWs are happy and that we should all go back?

  Greetings, dear Quandry... peace to you... and absolutely NOT! We know they're not happy, and NO ONE should go back. I'm just wondering how we're any different, now that we're out... if WE'RE still unhappy, sad, angry, bitter, etc.

  I will readily admit to bitterness, because I was foolish enough to get involved with the JWs over thirty years ago. I didn't read books other than the ones published by the WT, didn't finish my education, didn't go on vacation much (low paying jobs, always in service on weekends) and I distanced myself greatly from my parents, who are now dead, and I can't tell them I'm no longer "in" and spend the Christmases and birthdays with them that they missed with me and my family.

  Okay, I understand...

  It is getting better for me after some five years. I try to keep myself very busy so I don't have time to think about it so much.

  Good for YOU!

  I would like to not be bitter, and am working on it.

  Then the post wasn't directly to you, dear one...

  Deceit? Where do you get that one?

  From those who display it, who encourage others to do so. It really wasn't an all or nothing kind of thread, really...

  I no longer try to convince myself that the flip-flops over Sodom and Gomorrah, and the changing "generation" explanations are "new light" from God.

  Again, GOOD for you... and you probably weren't one of the ones for whom the "shoe fit."

  Again, peace to you, dear one!

  A slave of Christ,

  SA
• 

  AGuest

  My life has improved greatly since being disfellowshipped.

  Okkaaayyy, dear Estee (peace to you!)? That's what I'm saying: if life is SO much better OUT... than it was IN... why are we not talking about THAT... and it's JOY... versus post after post and page after page of "rachafracharachafracharachafracha"... and putting down those who HAVE found joy... and peace... and love... and, well, BETTER lives... HOWEVER... with WHOMEVER... and as a result of WHATEVER?

  To me, it's absolutely NO different than those IN "her"... those who "happiness" is faked and contrived, while a lake of negativity, judgment, and bitterness lies underneath. Those who have gotten but are yet angry and bitter... sound a LOT like those who are still in... but waiting... and panting... having grown tired and dissillusioned, but with NOWHERE to go.

  It's just a curious thing to me. Have they not found ANY delight in being out, such that it would cover over all that MESS they underwent while in? If NOT, what is the POINT in being OUT? Why not just go on and swallow the "blue" pill... and make it all go away again?

  I mean, I'm just sayin'...

  Again, peace to you, dear one, and thank you for sharing!

  A slave of Christ,

  SA
• 

  tec

  I'll try and throw out a few options for those people who have not found enough joy to cover up all that mess, Shelby:

  1) Once a lie is recognized, I don't think people can unrecognize (not a real word) it. But that doesn't mean that they found a truth to replace the lie. (I think this is a biggee)

  2) People often speak about their hardships - to find help - but they tend to hold on to their joy and forget to share it.

  3) Life isn't better for everyone on the outside (lost loved ones, lost time, shunning, etc...); it's just not a lie anymore.

  Just my thoughts and observations.

  Peace and love to you,

  Tammy
• 

  AGuest

  Life isn't better for everyone on the outside (lost loved ones, lost time, shunning, etc...); it's just not a lie anymore.

  I totally agree, dear tec (peace to you, and thank you for responding!)... and I was addressing those who SAY it is... but their "reflections" say different. What you're saying is actually my point: that while knowing the truth (i.e., that the WTBTS is not who it claims to be and so no longer living that lie), such knowledge didn't REALLY "set [them] TRULY free."

  I guess I'm just wondering if life IS so much better outside (as some seem to be implying)... then why all the, ummmm... "darkness" when they communicating with others, particularly those still IN? Why are they still "reflecting" the same KIND of light (anger, hatred, weariness, etc.) as those inside... yet want those to see them, the "good" they have now found... and follow them out? Would that really happen?

  I believe the answer is in your first example, that although they may THINK they've found something "better," the reality may be that they have not... that whatever it is they have "found"... actually leaves them just as empty, if not more so... and that the anger is really a woobie to "fill" a need that has not yet been sated. I am not speaking of those who are still HURT by the loss of family, etc., with such hurt manifesting itself as anger. Those folks tend to come to terms with such "loss" (like a death) sooner or later. I am speaking of those who seem to RELISH their anger... indeed, it now seems to give them some "purpose" in life.

  But I was really just trying to get some folks to think about it, to ask themselves the question, "Is my life really is better, why can't I reflect that?"

  That's all, really.

  Again, thank you for your comments and, as always, peace to you!

  YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,

  SA
• 

  VampireDCLXV

  Shelby,

  Are you implying that those who exit the borg and completely discard all belief in god and christ are somehow doomed to bitterness and anger? Thus making it appear to the borg that they were right? That one can only be happy and fulfilled only with a belief in christ as one and only savior kinda acceptance hooey? Please enlighten ME. Just wondering.

  Myself I've only made a recent exit and I'm almost totally lost as to what to believe about God or the bible or holy books in general as of YET. I don't know how to be happy YET or how to rid myself of the pain and bitterness YET. I'm workin' on it. Oooookaaaayyyyy?

  Your dearest dark lord,

  V665

  PS: Is it just me or is Shelby seriously weird?
• 

  AGuest

  Greetings dear Vamp665... and peace to you!

  Are you implying that those who exit the borg and completely discard all belief in god and christ are somehow doomed to bitterness and anger?

  I am not. For one, there are those who exit the borg and do not completely discard all belief... and yet, are bitter and angry. And there are those who do discard... yet are not bitter and angry. My question wasn't about solely about the bitterness and anger, but about how can one expect those IN to see it... and want to come OUT... and join up with such? Isn't that kinda "going from the frying pan into the fire"-ish? Or give that impression? I mean, doesn't the WTBTS teach that it's really all hell "out here" for all of us... and that any of us who ARE happy are just faking it to make it LOOK like it's better? And doesn't such displays just help those who are in believe that melarkey?

  Thus making it appear to the borg that they were right?

  Isn't the actual DISPLAY of such bitterness and anger... particular after YEARS of being out... make it appear so?

  That one can only be happy and fulfilled only with a belief in christ as one and only savior kinda acceptance hooey?

  I am confused. Other than my wish for peace and acknowledgement of my service, where in the WORLD did I mention Christ, or savior, or anything having to do with MY faith, in any of my comments here? And who said one can only be happy and fulfilled by means of such belief? This was not about following Christ - it was about the impression one gives to those still inside about how it is outside...

  Please enlighten ME. Just wondering.

  I hope I have done that...

  Myself I've only made a recent exit and I'm almost totally lost as to what to believe about God or the bible or holy books in general as of YET. I don't know how to be happy yet or how to rid myself of the pain and bitterness YET. I'm workin' on it. Oooookaaaayyyyy?

  As I stated to dear Quandry, you are most probably NOT among those I was addressing. The fact that what I shared even struck a chord with you shows me that. I mean, as you state, you're working on it. I'm not speaking of those who are working on it, but those who believe there really is something to gain... particularly those still IN... by hanging on to it. Seems to me that just the opposite would occur, for the most part, given what the WTBTS says of those who leave (i.e., sucky life, etc.).

  Your dearest dark lord, V665

  The greatest of love and peace to you, dear one!

  Ypur servant and a slave of Christ,

  SA

  PS: Is it just me or is Shelby seriously weird?

  Depends on who you ask. Thankfully, though, it doesn't matter to her what those who would answer in the positive think...
• 

  tec

  I understand, Shelby. I think I understand why you posed the question, too. Sort of a why fight bitterness and anger with more bitterness and anger? Why not fight it with love and patience and kindness? Then those on the inside (as well as others) will have a chance to see that 'out' is not the way they described it as being.

  Tammy