Okay, Someone "Enlighten" Me, Please...

by AGuest 43 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Aussie Oz

  The happiest most loving person outside the JW is still seen as unhappy by those in simply because those outside are percieved to not have 'jehovah' so cannot possibly be really happy.

  well, i for one am far happier and content than i ever was as a JW. Sure i had some happy times, but much of it was a drag and servitude.

  I am ''living good'' as you put it. That doesnt mean jack shit to the JWs. I'm still dead in their eyes and my happiness must surely be a veneer at best.

  When i left, i did not decend into an abyss of ''sex drugs and rock n roll''. Sure i was distressed and depressed and suicidal, I believed i was going to have birds picking my eyes out in no time and was going to party till the lights went out. That does not mean i was happier inside and was better off i can tell you!

  But partying just wasn't me. I didnt and dont like to get drunk, never tried a cigarette or any drug at all. I couln't even bring myself to have sex for two years.

  I climbed out of the mess i was in and rebuilt my life with true friends and a new social scene i was comfortable in. I met some lovely women who helped me through some troubled times and got married again 2 years ago.

  Yes i have discarded belief in a caring loving god, have not embraced satanism either . i no longer trust the bible either. I have not become a lonely bitter hate filled anti christian though.

  I do not see any benefit whatsoever in being a christian or any other religion for that matter.

  Any anger that may be seen in me at present is simply indignance at the WT CORP for all the lies that it is, and that it wants my kids

  Do you think that much of the anger people may have on here shows that they are unhappy? Don't forget that a good many people here have been touched by the WT in ways that you and i can only imagine... just leaving does'nt heal those scars i think...

  oz
• 

  wobble

  Thank you Dear Shelby for this thoughtful thread.

  it is good for us, cathartic even, to look honestly at ourselves,and ask, if I am not happy, why ? what can I do about it ?

  I do not think I was ever "bitter" as JW's love to lable we who have left.

  I was regretful that I wasted 58 years of my life working for free for a publishing Company, whose even lower order minions did not know who I was, or care.

  I was obsessed to start with with equipping myself with the knowledge to show all my friends and relatives still in all the errors, that has now stopped, yes I am so equipped now, but feel I will leave them where they want to be.

  As to happiness, I am happier than I have ever been, I have the "glorious freedom of a son of God" in that no man has jurisdiction over my thoughts.

  Whenever I meet the JW's I let them know that my wife and I are very happy, it confuses them.

  My two sons , who left years before we did, always tell the JW's about their great life when they speak.

  I believe that we can be kind and loving to all we meet, including JW's, and they will see that by our following a Christlike life we are not what they are told we are.

  Peace and blessings and love to you and yours.
• 

  alice.in.wonderland

  Well, as I read this, what am I supposed to think? "I pride myself for not being a sick person?"
  
  With sympathy: Schizophrenia..................
• 

  cantleave

  Shelby - I am so much happier, clamer, personally contented and a better person since leaving.

  I now focus on personal betterment in order to ensure my family have a better life.

  I don't miss anything about the organisation and don't feel I need to jump to another organisation or relion to achieve my goals.

  This will probably perplex you (but hopefully not hurt you), I don't have a spiritual need at all. I see beauty all around me, in my family in the world, and I appreciate that, but I don't attribute it to any higher being or intelligence. I certainly don't feel I need to worship anything for it.

  I love life and know it is short, I have wasted over half of it serving a man made cult, what's left of it is going to used to whatever good I can and to make sure my children are provided for now and in the future.
• 

  VampireDCLXV

  Shelby might be a bit weird but Alice is downright psychotic. She must have whacked her head really hard when she hit the bottom of the rabbit hole. Does that mean that Alice was dropped on her head? Hahaha! I kill me! Am I being too mean? I'm sorry, hahaha, she makes it too easy!

  V665
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  While it might be great to exit the Borg with a smile on our faces and show them our glee, reality is what it is.
  Many of us were bitter when we discovered the deception. Many lost contact with loved ones and lost all their "so-called" friends.
  
  The joy you speak of is attainable, but not always quickly. For some, it will take a long time (if ever) to get over being shunned by the children you raised or becoming divorced from the person you thought was your soulmate over religious differences.

  I say, it would be wonderful to show them how happy and well-adjusted we became, but since that isn't always the truth- LET THEM KNOW WHAT CAUSED ANY MISERY. It wasn't "leaving" that causes it, but it takes time to get that across to a JW.

  The movie THE MATRIX is an excellent example:
  When Morpheus and Neo meet, Morpheus offers Neo two pills. The red pill will answer the question "what is the Matrix?" (by removing him from it) and the blue pill will simply allow for life to carry on as before. As Neo reaches for the red pill Morpheus warns Neo "Remember, all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more."
  
  Why is the choice between what you believe you know and an unknown 'real' truth so fascinating? How could a choice possibly be made? On the one hand everyone you love and everything that you have built you life upon. On the other the promise only of truth.

  The question then is not about pills, but what they stand for in these circumstances. The question is asking us whether reality, truth, is worth pursuing. The blue pill will leave us as we are, in a life consisting of habit, of things we believe we know. We are comfortable, we do not need truth to live. The blue pill symbolises commuting to work every day, or brushing your teeth and continual sunsets and ice cream sundaes.

  The red pill is an unknown quantity. We are told that it can help us to find the truth. We don't know what that truth is, or even that the pill will help us to find it. The red pill symbolises risk, doubt and questioning. In order to answer the question, you can gamble your whole life and world on a reality you have never experienced.

  However, in order to investigate which course of action to take we need to investigate why the choice is faced. Why should we even have to decide whether to pursue truth?

  The question of which pill to take illustrates the personal aspect of the decision to study philosophy. Do you live on in ignorance (and potentially bliss) or do you lead what Aristotle called 'the examined life'...
• 

  coffee_black

  Shelby,

  It took me a long time to get over the anger at being duped. I was raised in, and had no other frame of reference... and it was all pulled out from under me when I learned the truth about the truth... I'm not an agressive or confrontational person by nature, so I don't think I ever expressed that anger to others...but in private...well that's another story. My kids helped to ground me through it all...but believe me, there were times when they thought I was crazy...because I was truly obcessed.

  I worked through it...and I think you are seeing the same here, anger, confusion, utter sadness, and all the turmoil (but more openly expressed here than I was ever capable of) Once I got over the feeling of betrayal I was able to move on, and start to look for answers. But it didn't happen quickly...it took a couple of years at least to free myself from the mental and emotional tenticles of the wt.

  We don't all have the same experience...or leave for the same reasons. But I think that many here have found a place where they can vent, and they do so, knowing that for the most part, they are understood. Having their experiences and feelings validated can help. It's a process...a very painfull one for many. Most eventually move past the anger phase... But when some get stuck in the anger and allow themselves to become bitter... that doesn't help anyone.. especially themselves.

  Coffee
• 

  millions now living are dead

  It's all a mind control game. Haven't you figured that out yet? The Borg tells you that you will be unhappy when you leave because....guess what.....YOU WILL! You just had your soul raped for x amount of years. Actually, the more you wake up and you become aware of what exactly happened, you will feel all sorts of emotions, positive and negative, but mostly negative for a while. Realizing you have been made captive and your family still is will anger you. You will feel pain. You will try to deal with that pain, sometimes through "loose conduct". You have lost your support system. You have to find strength within. This takes time. And by the way, who told you that anger, bitterness, resentment are wrong emotions? Anger helps you set boundaries in life. We were told that anger was wrong so they could strip our boundaries and bugger us emotionally and spiritually.

  I am more suspicious of the person who is happy and content right after they leave. You will usually find they are distracting themselves with work, a new belief system or group, or some other mission in life.

  When you get back to your real Self, not the fake self that was made to conform out of fear, then you will find peace, it just takes a little time.

  You are still playing by their rules. You are confusing outcome with process. Go a little deeper.

  Mil
• 

  garyneal

  marking
• 

  AGuest

  Thank you all for your responses... and may you all have peace! I had a lot more to say, a lot more "in" me... but since dear tec (thank you and peace to you!) summarized it beautifully, I'll only share the following:

  First, the post wasn't to say believing in the Most Holy One of Israel, JAH of Armies, would make one happier than others at all. There are zillions of people out there who do not know Him who, if asked, would respond that they are perfectly happy. Thus, I did not bring up God or Christ in the post (other than to acknowledge who and what I am in closing). My point is that if we, "christian," Atheist, Agnostic, Gnostic... whatever... do AS they do... display the SAME "fruit"... how is it truly BETTER... out here? Why NOT stay in, ignore the lies, and retain family, friends, loved ones?

  Second, I am not speaking of those who are recently out: it is certainly understandable that such ones have some emotions to work through. Totally understandable. I am speaking of those who have been out... for YEARS... and, yet, still can't seem to move on, at least with regard to the emotional ties. It is like 18-to-20-something-year-olds (or even older), who've either left... or been kicked out of... an abusive home... standing on the front porch 5, 10, 20, 30 years later.... and still crying that they were abused and/or kicked out! I mean, doesn't the time come for such ones to go and MAKE THEIR OWN WAY in the world? And wouldn't the BEST "revenge" be showing those abusive parents how SUCCESSFUL they became in the world? Doesn't standing and crying on the porch actually lend credibility to those parents' claim that YOU were actually the "problem"??? Why not prove THEM wrong... rather than trying to expend your energies trying to prove ME... and those like ME... wrong? We've done nothing to you!

  Finally, I have found JOY outside of her, merely by the fact that she no longer has ANY hold on me, none whatsoever! Yet, MANY deride and ridicule me, saying I should come to their way of thinking. But the only "fruits" I SEE of that "way"... are anger, bitterness, ridiculing, negativity, chiding, deriding, mean-spiritedness, sometimes deceit, and things like these. Why in the WORLD would I want to go from HER... where I was subject to all of those things... to yet another dispensary of the same kinds of thing? I would MUCH rather have the JOY I now possess... even if that joy leads me to believe in something or someone I cannot see with my eyes of flesh... than to wallow in one more second of misery. I ask you: where IS the "freedom" in that? Truly, I cannot "see" it.

  I guess I'm asking... even if you are angry, bitter, depressed, what have you... isn't the fact that you now CONTROL YOUR OWN LIFE... a reason to REJOICE? Sure, you hate "them" for what they "did" to you. And you're angry with "them" for the years of your life now wasted. And for standing between you and your children, spouse, parents, what have you. But aren't YOU now LETTING them control you, still? It really does seem that way, to me.

  Dear ones, you are not TRULY free... until you reach such "height," that you can let ALL anger and bitterness GO. THAT... is the true freedom. Because such things control YOU... as many profess ("I can't HELP it"). When you exist in TRUE freedom, however... you are no longer angry with ANYONE... or bitter at ANYONE or ANYTHING. Because you realize... that you, too, once walked in such "darkness"... but no longer are. Yet, you want pity to be bestowed upon you for what you underwent. Why not pity them? And hope for them.

  For whatever it's worth... and, again, I bid you all peace!

  A slave of Christ,

  SA

  P.S. This DOES mirror the Matrix, dear Terry, in that one can certainly take the "blue" pill... and return to living in BLIND bliss. But from what most SAY... they would rather DIE than do that. Indeed, most of us CAN'T do that - the "blue" pill would never work for us, ever again. But some seem to be saying that the RED pill... the one that opens your eyes, by whatever means... is just as BAD. And if that is TRUE why ridicule THEM for sticking with the "blue" one? Sure, you may be in a different KIND of pain and misery... but it's still PAIN and MISERY.