Consequences of speaking out (page 2)

Nickolas

Thanks, billy. Your post came in just as I was leaving my response. Great advice.

Ding

Testing the waters is the best idea.

If you become an all-out, vocal opponent of the Watchtower Society and its teachings, they will encourage your wife to divorce you.

The best way to challenge WT teaching is by asking questions but not in a sarcastic way.

The 607 date is a good one; the whole Watchtower authority depends on 1914 being a date marked in biblical prophecy.

Your goal should be to plant seeds that will lead your wife to think for herself instead of simply accepting the Society's view of everything.

But you need to study ahead of time to know what you're talking about.

If you get stuck, you can always ask us.

But beware; don't get sucked in.

You might think that will never happen.

A lot of us here thought that too and ended up inside.

cameo-d

Loz: - the bottom line is that you are the head of your household (in the Org's eyes) regardless of not being a JW,

I have read differently from people here. It seems that the Org will always trump a husbands headship...JW or not....and even more quickly if one is not a JW because the Org is actually headship of the JW, not her husband.

Tell me if I am wrong, but don't people who are JW before they marry have to ask permission of the elders to approve their selection of mate and permission to marry?

roguepixel

You are holding the upper hand. It's your house, so you can say what you like, and unfortunately for her, you are the head of the house, so she has to respect you. My sis used to get beat up by her hubby (NON JW), and then he did the dirty on her. On both occasions, the elders advised her to work it out with her hubby cos 'jehovah hates a divorce'. You are laughing, cos you were never baptized. She can't cut you off. One thing I would do, which will f**k them all right off, is to be calm and rational when you debunk every bit of crap that plops out of their mouths. On NO ACCOUNT must you raise your voice or get angry. Just smile and say in a kind voice "I'm so sorry for you all. You're in a cult and you don't realise it". (You must come across as sincere when you say this).

You have a battle of wills ahead my friend, but the war has only just begun.

Good luck!

OnTheWayOut

Thanks, billy. Your post came in just as I was leaving my response. Great advice.

I agree with Billy. To do a better job, I highly recommend reading Steven Hassan's RELEASING THE BONDS; EMPOWERING PEOPLE TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES.

pirata

You could lose your wife. leavingwt, that's what frightens me most, but I was under the impression that there are strict rules for divorce, even in the WTBS

There are strict rules for divorce (adultery). But there are 'extreme' situatoins that a Jehovah's Witness can separate for as a 'last resort' (See "Keep yourself in God's Love" book pg. 219-221).:

Willfull Nonsupport
Extreme Physical Abuse
Absolute Endangerement of Spiritual Life

Violia

Nickolas

I just wanted to address one aspect of your questions. Regarding the discussion of the supernatural , I think you can safely respectfully disagree there without being seen as an opposer. Many folks do not believe in the supernatural , demons, aliens, etc. I think you can pull rank ( headship) without anyone thinking too much. I also think the DF nephew is an issue you can disagree with . As long as you don't make it difficut for your wife to attend meetings and service they should be respectul of your position as husband. They know you do not agree with them on doctrine or you would have gotten baptized. If you do not stop your wife from attending meeting THEY should be respectful of you as the husband and head of the house b/c the Bible does teach that.

Nickolas

Thanks, all.

This morning before we got up my wife snuggled up to me and reaffirmed her absolute love. I smiled and said "Oh yeah?" She smiled back and said "Lifetime guarantee!" My reply was "But you're going to live forever." No response.

But you need to study ahead of time to know what you're talking about.

If you get stuck, you can always ask us.

But beware; don't get sucked in.

You might think that will never happen.

A lot of us here thought that too and ended up inside.

Thank you, Ding. That is wise counsel. I'm going to stick around this site for awhile and learn, undoubtedly ask a few questions along the way. And I won't get sucked in. Been there and escaped with my mind intact. Over the years I have actually tried hard to believe what my wife believes, because I yearn so much for us to be on the same page, but it's just impossible.

Ding

I recommend that you accept her love and her "lifetime guarantee" without arguing religion with her.

undercover

I recommend that you accept her love and her "lifetime guarantee" without arguing religion with her.

That's good advice. If you just let sleeping dogs lie, they tend to be happy dogs.

Speaking from experience here: don't go looking for a debate on religion with your wife. She is indoctrinated to accept the WT religion as true, but her actions and words at times will belie her "beliefs". Cognitive dissonance will make itself evident from time to time. Accept her and her "lifetime guarantee" as the "real" person, not the JW influenced person.

That's not to day that you can't defend your position when it should arise from no doing of your own, like when JWs come over for dinner.

It's tough at times. Sometimes you just want lay it all on the table at once. You may figure that your spouse is every bit as logical and sensible as you are and will "get it" once you present undeniable evidence. But it doesn't work that way. Until she herself doubts or seriously questions the religion, you're not going to break her. Baby steps of hints and subtle comments over time are your best bet. That and unconditional love.

Consequences of speaking out

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