DF'd and struggling....LONG POST........my story. (page 8)

wiser

This organization reminds me of the many stories I heard from friends who grew up in communist controlled countries. People were fearful of neighbors, friends and somtimes family. You didn't know who to trust. The differance I see between the JW organization and the Communist, is one says its god directed the other man. The communits killed discenters.The JWs kills with shunning, disfellowshipment, unscriptual divorces and other mind games. I am truly thankful to all the exJehovah web sites and this one becuase it has helped me to understand what the organization really represents, and it certainly does not represent God.

funnyface

Amen wiser

lisavegas420

I am not even sure if I want this for my kids anymore. Heaven forbid that they do anything that would require an elder's meeting. I would not allow it to happen. I know that for a fact. My kids will NEVER face this kind of unmerciful treatment

I'm so glad you feel this way. I was DF'd. sat for nearly a year in the back of the KH. My kids didn't have any friends at the KH because of my DFing. That was when I said enough is enough. They were NOT going to make my kids feel the way I was feelling. My children are now 26 and 30. They barely remember going to the KH. My parents decided to shun me, and have for the past 20+ years.

lisa

little witch

Welcome Confuzzled

I am just happy as a clam that you find their "logic" confusing, and convoluted. I am glad you were hurt by them, that you are strong enough to question them with a WTF

This means we may get to know and like you..something that never would have happened if you were not treated to the treatment of the "brothers" "justice".

LW

braveheart

Hello and welcome Confuzzled...thank you for sharing your story.

You have been given great advise and excellent resources to begin your Journey of FREEDOM and the pursuit of happiness.

Hundreds and hundreds of people have read your story and this thread of knowledge, myself included.

I figured out a few things:

the WTBTS is Not GOD's organization...

the WT preaches a Different Gospel...

they teach a Diffferent Jesus...

and they do it with a Twisted Bible....then they punish people with a mountain of rules and regulations.

Peace, Love and Joy to you and your family!! -BH

confuzzled777

Thanks SO much for ALL of your responses!!! I could not respond earlier as I had reached my limit of posting for a newbie and had to wait.

I have a lot to consider.......been doing a LOT of soul searching the past 8 months. Called my mom crying yesterday.....was feeling SO overwhelmed!

Someone asked about my DH and kids, if they were going to meetings or not. No, they are not. We all went for a period of about 2 months back between april and may. But as I said in an earlier post, I haven not been back after the painful experience of attending a 1 day assembly in May? and the last day of the district assembly in early july. That is for another time......very anxiety ridden that day. I went with an "I'll show you" attitude and left feeling very small and insecure....which is not who I am normally.

Again, thank you all very much for taking the time to respond! You are very kind and compassionate and I can see that you are genuine as well.

I will hang around......I like this group!

funnyface

Glad your gonna hang around us....Yep they are all a GOOD GROUP!!!!

I adopted them all

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Welcome Confuzzled!

My in-laws think that Jehovah is testing me like Job was tested.

Actually, I think this is Hojovah's way of telling you this isn't his organization. In Job's case, it was Satan causing the tribulation. Consequently...

Elders = Satan's janitors

Your local elders are idiots even by JW standards. And evidently your "friends" are cowards. Once you are able to deal with the emotional turmoil, you're coming out of this experience a whole lot smarter.

And before you ever start thinking you're some kind of "sinner", "righteous Lot" could out-drink and out-sin you even as an old fart without a hottub!

Open mind

Welcome to JWN Confuzzled.

Sorry your arrival here is under such painful circumstances.

I'm a former elder, 3rd generation JW, now almost "inactive" along with my JW wife and unbaptized teen children.

My heart was aching for you as I read your account. Having been one of the three men in suits on more occasions than I care to remember, all I can say is, I'm sorry for the part I have played in this unjust, unscriptural "arrangement" and, for what it's worth, many elders can and do eventually see the light and at least step aside if not leave the Organization entirely.

Having said that, it might be helpful to you and others here to see things through the eyes of the Substitute CO who was on your JC. There's a very good chance that he is very strict and by the book since he hopes to make CO some day, am I right?

So, let me strap on my a**hole elder hat, and re-read your account through those eyes.

******************************

The reason they had a quick JC was because they had so many people to "process". They had a couple elders to "investigate" and as soon as they determine that your circumstances are "judicial", they pull in the 3rd kangaroo to move the assembly line along as fast as possible. This also helps limit the amount of cross-checking of stories the accused parties can do.

If you were the last folks they investigated, that's not good for you, as you now know. They wanted to get as much dirt on you from as many sources as possible.

2 elders from other congregations may have been selected so that they could avoid any appearance of favoritism either with you guys or others who were interviewed. Another possibility, is that your own elders weren't up to the task of investigating 20 people. Just speculating here.

Your Facebook account. Did you actually delete the photos when you heard about the investigations? If so, it looks like you're trying to hide something. Another strike against being "repentant".

Your DH went in to the JC first. More bad news. They wanted to get as much dirt on you as possible.

7 drinks in 7 hours. There are varying opinions on this one. Being a bit of a drinker myself, I was always fine with 1 drink per hour. But I never advertized it in JW land. There are plenty of elders who would think that's WAY too much even though the Department of Motor Vehicles says it's OK. Go figure. Personal opinions. Imperfect man standing in judgement. Don't get me started.

Throwing up. For some reason, this seems like it's always a slam dunk that someone was in fact drunk. (I've served on 3 JCs where drunkenness was at least one of the "sins".) There's no medical evidence to support this idea to my knowledge.

You admitted to at least 3 and possibly 4 times of throwing up after drinking. That could be interepreted as a "hardened, practice of sin" by the ladder climbing Substitute CO. As a practical matter, most JCs view 3 times as the max for any given sin. That's just my personal opinion, it's not in writing anywhere. We did have one Elder School where the instructor was berating a JC who wanted to "err on the side of mercy" and forgave some guy who committed fornication 4 times. "FOUR TIMES BROTHERS?!? FOUR TIMES?!?" I'll never forget that. He never actually said it, but the message was pretty clear to me: Three strikes (at the most) and you're out.

Drunkenness that a person confesses to can be winked away if it's private and no one knows about it. It sounds like yours were more known.

You left the room of the JC. ( I know your were crushed and upset and that's TOTALLY understandable.) To the Sub-CO it may have been disrespectful. YOU are the one who left the room and the earthly representatives of The Most High God without permission, it's YOU who should be apologizing to THEM, not the other way around!

******************************

(Removing Pharisee Hat)

I've seen plenty of elders with the above-referenced attitudes on JC's before. Usually, there was only one, and the other two of us could at least try to make an unjust, screwed up, imperfect system at least a little bit more loving.

Again, I'm so sorry you were put through all that and I hope you take the time to educate yourself about this religion. There's a wealth of information on this site and others.

May you find peace,

Open Mind

Hairyhegoat

My older brother a jw miserable serpent took me to one side last year about my drinking and said if I dont stop he would report me to the elders. I'M so afraid- not!!!!!!!! I have taken photo's of his rubbish collection boxes and it seems he drinks more than me per week!!!judging by the beer cans and bottles ousides his house in coleshill Warwicksire UK, how dare the elders do this to you, when they have red eyes every morning in my old congregation, and bring a bottle parties are very comon also. Do your self a favour and see them for what they are a mind controling cult and leave them to it, as if you don't you will end up waisting 43 years of your life like me

DF'd and struggling....LONG POST........my story.

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