Following Open Mind's observation, I just have to add that most of the "merciful", "understanding", or "reasonable" elders have either stepped down or are pushed aside from serving on JCs.
DF'd and struggling....LONG POST........my story.
by confuzzled777 84 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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confuzzled777
Open Mind, YES! You account is pretty much a correct one. Not only did I have the sub-CO but he was conversing through texting with the CO during our meeting.
The night in question was circulating around the circuit. Which was one reason why we had elders from different congs. I am sure it was also because of bias.
Facebook account had never had any photos deleted from that night. I kept them ALL on as I had NOTHING to hide! Other than we all had a FANTASTIC night of fun! I also had photos on my facebook from 2 years previous. Still, nothing to hide!
OH YEAH, that was another thing.....we had just returned from going on a trip with some friends from the hall the week before our interview. After our interview, I called my friend and asked her about it and she told me that they had met with the brothers BEFORE our trip together and were told to NOT speak about it with anyone. Nice HUH??
I was told that 7 drinks in 7 hours was excessive drinking! So, even if I was NOT drunk that night, I had excessively drank and that was wrong to do as well! OH and also that I must have been drunk because I admitted to not being able to drive. I just thought I was being responsible. I won't drive if I have had 2 drinks.
Someone had even gone as far as to say that my DH must have been drunk as he was not bowling as well as he has in the past years of bowling. My DH was NOT drunk that night, but had a LOT on his mind as his sister just found out that the sarcoma cancer had returned and was in her liver. SO he had more important things to worry about than his bowling score. But that was preceived as being drunk.
Oh and did you know that if someone is flushed that is also a sign of being drunk? Being giggly is also a sign! LOL
We were not the "hosts" of the actual bowling event. The brother who "hosted" the bowling was held responsible and had his mic and reading privilege's taken away. My dh and I did host a few friends at our home after bowling where we sat in our hot tub. A few of our friends had a few more drinks, but as far as my DH and I, we had none.
I and many others felt as if my DH and I were targeted and kept till the last for a reason also! In a way it was a blessing......we knew what was being asked and we went in prepared with watchtower articles on drinking. We had NO intention of going in and telling them whom we thought was drunk or acting out of control. That was not our place, nor should have been the others in the group.
So many things were twisted and turned around in that meeting. It was even worse in the appeal meeting! There I had 6 men in the room judging me. At one point my DH was read a scripture stating that he had a "smooth" tongue. In other words, they wanted him to stop talking because he was arguing with them.
I spoke with my friends and family who had also met with the brothers and they were either disfellowshipped or publicly reproved. ALL of their meetings were SO unloving. I can't go into details on those meetings.....but they were just as bad as mine, if not worse in a couple of cases. They were all told that if they did not tell the brothers who was drunk that night that they would be sharing in their brother's sin.
OK......I need to stop......I swear I could write a small book on the events of that night and the events of the whole scene.
Thank you for your insight......you were right. I appreciate your sincerity!
Billy....I do feel that I have come out of this experience a much stronger person. I have had my doubts in the past, but this just confirms most of them. I have been taught over the years that the "witnesses" are your only true friends. But I know different know! My non-witness friend had stuck by me for over 18 years and because of this we are closer than we have ever been. She is a TRUE friend in EVERY sense of the word. My other "friends" have not spoken to me since I was disfellowshipped. Some friends.
Well, now that I have rambled on again......which is so easy to do as I start to get worked up each time I think about it. I AM getting better and stronger each day. At the beginning I cried every day for at least the first 3 months. In the beginning, I did not even want to leave my house for fear of running into a witness at a store or at a restraunt.
A few months ago my DH and I were eating at our favorite mexican restraunt when a "brother" and his wife and daughter came in and were seated right next to us. The "brother" said hello to my DH and then sat down with his family without uttering a hello to me. It was like I was not even there. I felt SO small and non existant. I hope he was happy with himself! What goes around, comes around.....or something like that!
Thanks again for the support!! I need to run.......
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thenoblelodge
Confuzzled your doing great.....talk it all out girl.
By the way
witnesses" are your only true friends.
Witnesses = true friends = oxymoron.
Peace to you
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Balsam
Hi Confuzzled777,
Wow I've know a few who were df'ed for drunkeness but it was after several warnings. Sounds like the Elders were out to get you and make an example of all of you. Welcome to the forum stick around read and talk it will be very healing for you. I've been df'ed for 9 years after leaving my abusive husband and divorcing him. I've found happiness and many many better and closer friends. Be patient give yourself time to adjust to your new position. I sincerely hope your parents won't turn their back on you but will love and embrace you no matter that they are still in.
Balsam
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LisaRose
I am sorry you had to go through this abuse. That is what it is, abuse. Think long and hard about what you had to go through, and how it made you feel. Do you want your children to suffer like this some day because they made a youthful mistake or someone thought they had? Do you want your daughter to have to "confess" to a bunch of old men who have no real training in counseling, or psychology? To tell them what part of her body her boyfriend touched? To be told that her family can't talk to her because she didn't act sorry enough for them? I had a friend who's daughter was DFd for heavy petting. And she was not able to get re-instated although she went to meetings for months. She finally wised up, got counseling and never went back