by skeeter1 45 Replies latest jw experiences
I`ve never understood..
Why people say everything,but what they want to say..
Then wonder why people don`t understand the message they are trying to deliver..
Try..
"Dad..I`m not Interested in your Religion..Shut up already"..
Then invite Him out for a Beer..
..........................
...OUTLAW
Outlaw has a good point. If you're ok with dad being a Jehovah's Witness and you think he's actually happy that he is, best move would be to call a truce and hope he accepts it.
Sorry this is happening to you skeeter, dealing with an aging parent is hard under the best of circumstances.
Lots of good points here! I agree that your dad is not talking TO you with his correspondence, he's talking AT you. So I think that it's safe to say that if you totally ignore anything he sends having to do with religion, you won't hurt his feelings.
You don't want to cut him off, so what if you send all his emails to a special folder (which you can ignore), and simply reply - each time he contacts you - with the latest news from your life? Maybe he'll enjoy hearing about you, and maybe not, but you'd be keeping in touch while avoiding the infuriating preaching.
Finding him a hobby sounds ideal, if that's possible.
Hang in there!
GGG
I had the same problem as you (although unless you're not telling us everything, I had it far worse).
Recently in a telephone conversation with my parents, who are serving in the London Bethel, I told them to "F*** off and never bother me again unless you come to your senses and realise that you are in a cult".
They haven't called since, which is a good thing.
Carlos
Thanks everyone for your comments. I know what I am going to do. I am going to directly address the situation and do it as kindly as I can.
I don't hate my father, and can not fault him for any "shortcomings" as none of us are perfect. For me, I can not yell or curse at him. I am not perfect, so I can't expect him to be. He has climbed mountains of psychological and social problems. He has done the best that he could do with what he started from, and, like Dogpatch would say, "Perhaps the Witnesses are who are saving him."
But, I just need to set some ground rules and make it very clear on where I stand...and then NEVER get suckered into replying to his e-mails. I am just going to call him on the phone and do basic "chit-chat."
Thank you everyone for helping me come to peace and understanding with this current struggle.
Skeeter
If he's elderly and his health is not good and still pioneering maybe that's the only way he can get his hours in.
If it bothers you that much as it was said before "delete".
Recently in a telephone conversation with my parents, who are serving in the London Bethel, I told them to "F*** off and never bother me again unless you come to your senses and realise that you are in a cult".
That's one memory you won't want when they're dead and gone.
Nickolas, when I was 15 years old, I told my loving pioneer mother that I no longer wanted to be a part of the cult, she tried to poison me. So "gone and dead" is exactly what I want.
Carlos.
Skeeter
Your dad sounds like he is starving for attention, and is going out of his way to get whatever attention he can get, from whatever source is available. Your description of him screams "it's all about me!" (meaning, him, of course).
I'm wondering, though, because of his age, whether delirium might be a potential diagnosis for him. One of the hallmarks of delirium is having to re-orientate the person constantly, ie, having to repeat yourself over-and-over-and-over, on a variety of topics. Delirium is not the same as dementia, and can be a transitional state of mind that someone goes into and then returns to their "normal" self. Dementia is an irreversible process of cognitive deterioration.
I'm thinking that the way the WTS teaches its followers that if they follow a certain rote formula of conversation, that it will lead to the eventual conversion of the targeted individual to the JW belief system, as if the individual will have no other option but to become a JW. His failure at gaining your conversion means, according to unwritten JW lore, that he isn't trying hard enough, so he has to ramp up the urgency level and his efforts. In his mind, your not joining the JWs is a reflection of "his" failure to convert you, not of your freedom of choice.
It's so tragic that someone of his age is at a point in their lives where they either have to die in the trenches trying to convert their loved ones, or look at the little man behind the curtain and realize that they wasted their lives on meaningless cult crap.
Scully,
Wow! Your last paragraph, I am going to print that out. What a statement that just smacks of the situation. If he's converting people, then he's convicing himself that the WTS has the Truth. Preaching keeps him from facing reality. I really think this is why the WTS is preaching to the elderly so much to get out in field service, even if health is an issue. They are losing the young people, and can't "afford" to lose the old.
I can say that as long as I've known him, 40ish years, he's been obsessive. It is just getting WORSE now with advanced age, his health (diabetes), and the WTS.
Looking back, his attempts to convert me seem to gain full speed towards the end of each month. Perhaps this has to do with the pioneering requirement?
Skeeter
