Satan the Devil was in idiot

by sabastious 53 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Rabbit

  Cyber

  "Are you guys bashing God again? I am gonna get mad and offended. You can call Satan anything you want but leave God alone.

  See we can explain anything you dont understand in the bible with two simple statements :

  1.) Pray to get more faith

  2.) Dont worry about anything it is Gods business.

  See its that simple. We can use any kind of explanantion and logic to explain why Satan, and God do what they do and did what they did."

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  My never-been-a-dub wife and I were talking about all the evil, hurtful, never-ending drama queen stuff Satan (according to Bible) is always doing and getting away with murder. Satan's 'family' of angelic followers...'his' side -- is like the unwanted Inlaws showing up. They can 'fall' to earth and create human like super bodies to have sex with the Earth girls, yet, they are not stopped nor destroyed causing all these problems. Satan and God can sit down (or float?) and discuss their bets on what would happen if Job's family was murdered. I'll bet...the same happened with Jesus.

  Adam and Eve, however are lied to: They DIDN'T die that day. They were never told by their Loving God that before they did die...their DNA would be f**ked up in order to punish all the innocent descendants with disease, mental illness, cancer, etc -- for the MASSIVE SIN ADAM & EVE COMMITED BY STEALING A PIECE OF FRUIT !

  My wife said, "Maybe Satan is not a 'he'." Me, "WTF?" Her, "Just the way they always argued...it reminds me of how a woman might act."

  "Hmmm...never thought of that. Wait...whoa...I'll go one better -- not just 'any' woman -- but -- an ex-wife !!!!!"

  Jesus was God's 'only begotten son', right? And, if Satan was a 'woman', an ex-wife...Jesus' mama? Sounds like a bad divorce to me. The 'children' always lose. The drama never ends...

  Come on...it was funny, we had a good laugh over the mental picture of the marriage gone wrong.
• 

  DanaBug

  @Rabbit Have you ever read The Evolution of God by Robert Wright? Check this excerpt out: http://evolutionofgod.net/q/yahweh
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  the-illuminator81

  What happens if after the 1000 year reign, a million years after it, another angel turns rogue, turns into a talking snake, and God has to prove him wrong again? Will billions of humans have to die to make God feel good about himself again? And again? And over and over again?

  To me God sounds like he isn't all that omnipotent.. more like a real good procrastinator

  - Oh yeah imma kill that snake, imma crush his head!

  - But first yall have to wait a few thousand years for my son to come over

  * wait a couple of thousand years *

  - Oh shit.. they killed my son.. I guess that didn't work.. I better resurrect him

  - Oh he doesn't want to play on earth anymore.. yall have to wait just a bit longer, I guess jesus really could use a long long vacation after being killed and all

  - Ok guys, i'm sure jesus will come around to kill satan sometime real soon now

  - But first, let's put him in a dungeon and then wait a 1000 years and then release him again and then really kill him

  * skip ahead 2000 years *

  - Hey guys, jesus kicked satan out of heaven and I have to warn ya, he's real pissed! But he's going to put him in a dungeon real soon now! So hang on there folks!
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  cyberjesus

  Sab: Haha funny thing is.... I wasnt. What makes you think he is the only one who thinks this way? hmmm I dont think so. The list is endless.