I'm not sure how long I can stay married to the Witnesses

by wifeofjw 38 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  wifeofjw

  Hello Everyone,

  I don't post often, but I lurk a lot. I have fonund the information to be helpful and encouraging.

  However, I'm not sure how much longer I can take being married to the JW's.

  I have a wonderful husband, but he believes everything this cult tells him. Most recently he has decided that because the end is near we don't have to worry about our bills. He is naturally a spender type of person and I'm the saver type.

  He also seems to think that being laid off of work is a sign that he should do more Field Service and Spiritual things as he calls it. While, I work and he is at home. He is doing stuff at home like ceaning, washing clothes and cooking...I do appreciate this. However, he has caused the debt in our family and I think he has a resposibilty to pay for it. This maybe a situation specific to this hall. In fact, it is not unsually in this hall for the women to have the jobs that bring in the most money and cover the health insurance. These ladies have to work take care of the family and do all the stuff at the hall so the mean can be at home and get together for coffee.

  I'm really at a crossroads here. I'm working to support the cult...I'm not OK with that. But I really love my husband.
• 

  wifeofjw

  take 2 "so the "men" can be at home ..."
• 

  Cthulhu

  I'm sure this is a silly question, but have you talked to him about your concerns?
• 

  wifeofjw

  Yes and because I'm not a witness he claims I don't understand spiritual things. He seems to think that a new job might be provided by satan to keep him to busy to do witness things.

  I explained to him that he should not rush into a job and that I support him if he wants to change careers. I suggested he take about a month of time off to do the things he wanted and needed to do. He did not like this idea.
• 

  Gayle

  I hope you can save your money upfront on your paycheck before he can spend so much,,hope you can develop a 401k through your work also. Are there children yet? The JW world doesn't prepare for any future in the real world and so many have nothing for their older years.

  Only the JW Headquarters keeps building and improving their physical needs with all the donations and time of their little people. Their leadership, their Governing Body have quite a setup. Please don't let your hard earned money go to the cult.
• 

  fokyc

  I've managed for over 55 years! I sometimes wonder how I managed it.

  My wife is totally IN to the 'TRUTH', there is no moving her; it is ALL true!

  I have tried joining it, even being baptised in 1963 but I just don't believe any of it.

  So it is possible, we do have quite heated arguments at times; nobody wins.

  Keep a clear head and stay reading the forum.

  'Husband of JW' aka fokyc
• 

  chickpea

  married makes you equally responsible for debt accrued

  that loco mindset about "the end is all but here" has been
  going on for DECADES and it leaves a lot of financial ruin in
  its wake.... not sure if that is impetus for you to cut your
  losses and legally separate your finances from his, but
  it sure as heck is a starting point for consideration...
• 

  wifeofjw

  Gayle thanks for the advice. He is getting better at not spending everything for that I am thankful. We don't have children and at this point we cannot for this I'm also thankful. The kids would really suffer.

  fokyc thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one dealing with this situation. I forget other have been down this road. I just need to keep "a clear head"
• 

  alanv

  Hi wifeofjw,

  I do really feel for you. It is hard when one is in and the othew out. I was wondering whether you both need to work to stay solvent. If you don't, then as the bread winner you are in the best position to see where the money goes.

  There are many articles the Watchtower have written over the years telling the witnesses the end is near and they should pioneer or not marry or not have children.

  Many of those who took that advice have suffered very much and certainly the ons who got into debt because they believed the societies lies.

  If you both need to work, why don't you pay the bills and then your husband would have to pay for other essentials.

  I was lucky. Although I was married to a witness, I was the bread winner so decided what the money should go.

  I really hope you can sort this out, you really need to be strong, because you must remember that your husband is a victim in all this. He simply has not seen that he is in a cult. Hopefully he soon will come to his senses.

  I wish you well.
• 

  out4good3

  Take out the bible and a couple of WT's that speak on the subject of a man providing for his own household and if he doesn't, he is worse than (something or another)..... and beat his ass over the head with it.

  He's just using this circumstance to be lazy and not go out there and even look for a job in favor of increasing his spiritual activity. In this economy, it is harder to look for and find a job than it is to get dressed and go out and socialize with his witness friends. Door to door work is not a spiritual activity as much as it is a social activity designed for for JWs to reinforce their dependence upon the organization and waste time in non-productive busywork.