by wifeofjw 38 Replies latest jw friends
ALWAYS used the "cult" as an excuse not to go to school, get a good job.
That's my wife in a nutshell. "Increasing her ministry" seems to be the catch all phrase of the day when talk of her getting a job or going go school comes up. While at the same time, she looks longingly at those who went to school and have a got a good job are able to do. The financial independence it gives them and the feeling of purpose.
He seems to think that a new job might be provided by satan to keep him to busy to do witness things.
..... really.....
Mental health issue there.....
Okay along the lines of SD-7 and Mouthy......but more 'JW relevent'.....
I say smack him upside the head with a WT or KM (via WTCD-search)....
Surely the man can get a part-time job!
Oh and here is a 'WTCD gem' to smack him with over the you not understanding 'spiritual things' .....
*** w04 12/15 p. 10 Friends of God in the “Friendly Islands” ***
The apostle Paul wrote: “If anyone does not provide for those who are his own, and especially for those who are members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” This Bible principle touched the husband’s heart. He realized that by acceding to the church’s excessive demands, he was failing to provide the basic needs of his family. At the next annual collection service, although he had the money in his pocket, he could not forget 1 Timothy 5:8. When his name was called out, he courageously informed the priest that his family’s needs took precedence. As a result, the couple was publicly belittled and berated by the church elders.
Sorry my dear, gut feeling says, if he loves you he provides and protects you.......not uses you so he can be a 'kept man' without your prior agreeing to this arrangement. Try as you might you will eventually lose all respect for him, according to the US-Tax code you are the 'Head of Household' should he want his 'balls' back, man needs to get a job!
I'm a ubm too and understand your concerns. I find it odd that my jw has been on a real kick of men who don't support their families leave themselves open for the wife to be 'scripturally free' to remarry. This attitude has gone on well over a year with mine. Though he talks about 'simplifying' and other jw buzz words that I know are right out of the wt's...... and yes, mine too spends as much time doing jw things as one would at a part time job. I wonder if it is a difference in kh's and local socio-economic conditions? weird, where's the unity?
I am under the impression that not supporting your family could actually be df-ing offense? hmm, maybe you should write NY? maybe that would get him busy job hunting? get the elders after him.
Was he formerly a good worker? What changed? Many men become paralyzed when laid off or fired, work generally defines them and it is quite a blow to the self respect to find oneself apparently unneeded. The JWs may be offering a simple solution, go preaching and have the respect of the congregation. Many pioneers started that way. Having a ready reason for the loss of the job (Jehovah's will) he will seek meaning in the misfortune he is experiencing. Nothing good will come from berating him or threatening him. Witht the limited info I have, I'd suggest you together examine courses available at the nearest technical college. Find something that exites him and have him enroll. Tuition may be reduced with his being a displaced worker. You may see a new man reappear once he has a new focus.
Was he formerly a good worker? What changed? Many men become paralyzed when laid off or fired, work generally defines them and it is quite a blow to the self respect to find oneself apparently unneeded. The JWs may be offering a simple solution, go preaching and have the respect of the congregation.
Good points PeacefulPete!
I agree with peacefulpete.
excellent points.
My dad did pretty much the same thing. Mom went to the elders. They told him to get a job! It didn't really work...he tried, but it just added another huge layer of stress to him. He was pretty paralysed.
Come to think of it, what he really needed was some professional help. Some therapy.
Hi Peacefulpete! That is a great idea.
I have suggested that he get some kinda of training and he gets very upset about it. It seems the elders and folks at his hall are against all types of education. For example, he looks to cook I suggested a community college for culinary school. His reply No, No, No.
So maybe he is just paralyzed. How long do I wait?
WIFEOFJW- Having been in the witnesses for 44 years - I can tell you that men are SUPPOSED to be the main breadwinner in jW's as they have a scripture that says a man who desn't provide materially is " worse than a person without faith ". I was married 19 yrs. to a JW woman ( divorced 1998 ) and I was sole provider all those years ! If your husband can't find employment working for someone else, perhaps he can start his own business. What are his interests ( aside from JW stuff ) ? I would encourage him in THAT direction . If he STILL doesn't find work, you may need to cut the umbilical cord. You signed up to be his wife, not his mom
this is what I suggest, make sure you have a separate savings account in your name and start putting money into it. Tell your husband that the bible states that any man the does not look after his family financially is worse than a man without faith. To run up debt is shameful and unscriptual.
To make no contribution to the family and expect you to work full time is unacceptable. You need to see evidence of diligent effort to find work or retrain. If he wishes to do more in the service then he should look for work that allows him to achieve this. The society teaches that Jehovah will bless the efforts of those that work along with their prayers so he should trust in Jehovah to help him find suitable work. Pioneer hours have been specifically designed to allow work to take place.
There are brothers and sisters dying now who thought the end was just around the corner they have never seen it come. You have to behave responsibly otherwise you are stealing from people in this system and may be storing up problems in the future. Laziness has never been acceptable to god.
