I'm not sure how long I can stay married to the Witnesses

by wifeofjw 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    Damn I feel sorry for you! Do ya'll have any kids? There is a scripture (I believe timothy) if a man does not work neither let him eat, a shame witlesses set aside this scripture if the non-worker is pursuing spiritual things.

    Yet another examplke of how this religion emasculates you as a man.

  • jay88
    jay88

    I wonder if your husband has a plan for employment. Does he use the downtime to find out what skills he

    needs to develop in order to provide for his family in the long run? Unless a man is comfortable, all his downtime should be focused

    on the health of his family via sharping his vocational skills, having and executing a plan for employment, or taking on a entrepreneurial spirit as for as getting

    money.------Believe it or not is up to the wife to hold him accountable as for as execution and support.

  • thetrueone
    thetrueone

    He seems to think that a new job might be provided by Satan to keep him to busy to do witness things.

    Sounds like he's putting up an excuse to to not pull his share and responsibility in the household.

    I would consider threating him that is he doesn't find a job, that you have no choice but to leave him.

    He needs an abrupt wakeup call !

    You need a man, not a weak kneed cultist waiting for Armageddon and the end of the world..

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    There is some good advice here. May I suggest you re-read Out4good3's post? I believe s/he has stated some difficult truth you need to really consider. It's a tough situation, good luck to you.

  • blondie
    blondie

    I would ask him if the congregation had stopped paying their bills or the headquarters in New York (have him ask the elders).

  • Ding
    Ding

    Blondie's question is a very good one.

    Also, you might point out to him that the WTS thought the end was so near in 1975 that many JWs quit their jobs, sold their houses, put off medical treatment, and the like.

    Here were are 36 years later.

    Ask your husband to check with the elders to see if they think he's doing the right thing not paying family bills.

  • wifeofjw
    wifeofjw

    Alanv - It is true that he is a victim of the cult...so I want to try to be understanding. Also, marriage is work under any circumstances.

    We are in the USA so he is getting unemployment that is part of the reason he sees no need to look for work right now. Of course this is less than his salary.

    I did mention the Bible verse about the man providing I did not have the exact verse number...I will get that today.

    Blondie I will ask him about the paying the money to New York. That will make him think. Since he wants to do some spiritual stuff is there a old Watchtower book I can suggest he read...maybe we study together to help open his eyes?

    Thanks for the replies.

  • out4good3
    out4good3

    I understand exactly what you're going through. My situation is much like a mirror image of yours except that I'm the male breadwinner with a JW wife that really see no value in finding a job or of educating herself so that she might be gainfully employed.

    She constantly talks about what she would do with the money if she had a job, but can never find the time to look in favor of reading and highlighting WT mags and preparing for meetings. I've asked her does she really want to look for and get a job and she never answers. But, she has made snide remarks that I should find her a job. WTF!!!!!

    Don't get me wrong, I appreciate what she does around the house, the cooking....the cleaning.....and I always come home to a hot meal. She is very frugal with the little money I am able to give her for her personal use almost always putting it back into the house in some way.

    She doesn't have to work and haven't for the last 12 years of our marriage, and really doesn't need to work as there is enough money to support us, but I think that she having a job would immeasurably improve her self-esteem and help her develop the social skills needed to function out here in the real world as opposed to that fake fairy-tale JW one painted by the WT.

  • Ding
    Ding

    The ultimate response to a JW who wilfully runs up bills he knows he can't pay is that by so doing he is bringing reproach on Jehovah's name and on his organization.

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    Can you really respect someone with so little integrity?

    Someone that uses "religion" as an excuse to be irresponsible?

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