@ wannabefree: yeah, i hear you. And believe me, there are times when I miss that quick comfort fix I used to get when I'd "Say a quick prayer to Jehovah." As a biologist, I have to admit, I look at life from an engineering perspective. As it stands now, genetics cannot explain behavior. Currently, genetic causes are only alluded to (especially in twin studies), but I very deeply believe that there's a "faith" gene and, judging from my mother's side of the family, I definitely did not inherit it lol (they're all worldy evolutionists). I used to pray but always felt silly, much like a kid leaving a tooth under their pillow when they were old enough to realize that a tooth fairy is nonsense (or so I think... JW kids never played "tooth fairy" haha).
As I stated, I will never belittle people for their beliefs or try to convert. Some exJWs jump right in to other Christian faiths and if that makes them feel better, that's a story with a happy ending. I'll never understand it tho. And perhaps you may never understand a person like me who just can't experience having faith. I dunno... the very word bothers me sometimes. It's foreign and icky. As an independent thinker, you and I have many resources at our disposal to validate our claims but the bottom line is, if a belief in "God" gets you through daily life and offers a hope for your future, then I'm very happy for you. Sometimes even envious. Lt. Commander Data always wanted to explore human emotion, but without the chip, it was a total mystery for him...I'm the same way with belief in a god.
HOWEVER... one of my favorite interests is cutting edge physics. And I don't want to come off as one of those annoying laymen who try to blend physics with philosophy, but it's so exciting to see Science actually require faith from people for possibly the first time ever! I just finished one of the best books ever written IMHO: "The Black Hole War" by Leonard Susskind. He goes toe-to-toe with Stephen Hawking and wrote the entire novel because he proved one of Hawking's theories wrong. To a general audience, most of us would say, "Who cares? All these guys do is crunch numbers and create formulas only a few other people on earth are smart enough to comprehend!" But they WORK. The numbers WORK. And the theories they validate have meaning. Perhaps the most intriguing one for me is the hologram universe theory. Sounds hokie, I know. It immediately conjures up a scenario like "The Matrix." But, there's a possibility that this universe we percieve is just that--an illusion. All matter is made of energy, and energy in its smallest unit (at the Planck scale) is described as information...or code. I think there's a reason why physics breaks down when you zoom in to the super tiny scale. Perhaps it's part of the game... a design flaw we were never meant to notice. But we DID. I guess a small part of me desires to know more. If this is a giant holodeck, then who designed the program? What's the purpose, if any? That's what keeps me hanging on. I don't want to believe we are simply over at death. A very small part of me really, really wants there to be something more! But what I cannot do is make an allegiance with organized religion. It gives the easiest answer. "God" is the default explanation for every mystery. It just seems like a cop out, you know? Throughout history, theists seem to love the unknown and exploit it as proof of their diety. Scientists love the unknown for a different reason: It puts people to work! They want to solve the mystery. It's an easy trend to follow through human history. In ancient Greek times, "gods" were very human. They fought, they killed each other, they had sex with each other, they lived on mountaintops that were visible to humans... but once science started explaining things like thunder, lightning, droughts, etc., "god" became more and more mysterious and unintelligible. In modern times, science has provided many, many answers and, in a sense, has shoved "god" further and further into a mysterious corner. Eventually, the gaps will close. However, if...if there's a Grand Creator behind everything, I certainly cannot give credence to a 19th century American printing corporation's claim as being His representative. If there was an all-powerful being, I find it absurd to think that He would manifest himself through the WBTS.
@Billy... you look like a rascal, buddy! I look forward to getting to know you! Are you really an ex-bethelite??? How long ago were you there? I'd love to pick your brain for juicy details that go on "behind the scenes." I'm new here, so if you've posted fantastic stories before, I'll have to search for them. But when you get a chance, I'd love to hear whatcha got!
@lifelong humanist: amen! and duly noted. "swift" is easier said than done at the moment. I love my family deeply (have an adorable 3-yr old nephew) and have many, many close friends (some are of the same mindset but would never leave...but I'm working on 'em. Maybe a mass exodus at once???) There is so much to lose. But I intend to document this transition as it happens, in real time. Hopefully it will serve as an aid to others when they reach the same crossroad. This is so tough...
