Framing this issue is all important right now.
Please accept this advice in the spirit it is intended. I wish to help.
"Having Doubts" is really an ineffective way to present where you are in your thinking. Red flags start flying everywhere. Alarm bells go off!
You may as well have said "I'm an enemy"!
If you came home with lipstick on your shirt collar and smelling of strange perfume but you demanded that your wife believe you without allowing her to question the damning evidence...would your Loyalty Test indicate guilt or innocence on your part?
The same is true for religion.
Think of the famous Boreans. They wanted to prove to themselves they weren't being razzle-dazzled by crafty cultists, right? They wanted constant proof by searching the scriptures. How are they characterized? As doubters? No. "Noble minded". Isn't that a lovely phrase? :)
You are being a Borean. You are being faithful to reality. Testing FOR reality is noble-minded.
Imagine how the Jewish community felt when Jesus as Rabbi started to sound like Jesus as cult-leader or Jesus as rival deity to Jehovah!
RELIGIOUS BELIEF is founded on ORTHODOXY.
That means "no changes".
An HONEST man has to expect reality to match his beliefs only if he TESTS those beliefs against reality constantly. (Daily, like the Boreans.)
Here is where the average JW goes wrong. There is no actual reality testing going on. Why? The JW's are cut-off from controversial lines of communication and isolated from information sources. That is---information sources OTHER than orthodox.
It becomes an issue of LOYALTY tests rather than REALITY tests. And that is when cults come to life!
When Faith is more of a Loyalty issue than a Reality-match you have entered the valley of the shadow of cults.
Now what can we mean when we use the word: Reality? Reality is things as they really are...outside of...what we WISH them to be.
Jehovah's Witnesses WISH themselves to be the only true religion. But--they do not really want anything to intrude on their Loyalty to that assertion.
So, instead of reality testing they Loyalty test. "With us or against us" replaces "If we aren't right we shall change".
The humble willingness to be wrong and change vanishes with Loyalty tests.
So, your first problem is repairing the damage you've done by labeling yourself as DISLOYAL.
JW's are ready to declare Thought Crimes!
You must remedy that.
You can drive a wedge if you are careful about what you say and how you say it.
For instance:
"Honey, my scriptural obligation to this family comes before everything else. A man who does not provide for members of his own househould is worst than an infidel. If something is TRUE it matches reality. My personal obligation to you and this family is to make sure of what is true by testing, like the Boreans, against reality. That is where integrity to god begins. Don't you agree?"
"I'm not afraid of what is true and neither should you be. We have an obligation to Jehovah to make certain that when we say we are "in the Truth" we aren't just drifting along without actual effort on our part in VERIFYING our belief against actual events."
"Testing our faith against CLAIMS of Truth is a moral obligation if we are honest. How can we be honest if we are not willing to face what may be disappointing facts?"
"If the Nation of Israel was God's chosen people and they proved unfaithful they lost his favor. Why would his True religion today be any different?"
Facts speak for themselves. But, deliberately NOT listening to facts is intellectual dishonesty.
To hear the facts you have to discover where they are.
IF you were in a cult that was hiding the facts about their claims--would you not expect them to forbid outside investigations?
You must be very careful how you tread. Speak with confidence about integrity, honor, humility. DON'T LET the conversation drift into TESTS OF LOYALTY.
That is a loser.
When loyalty questions come up reply with your own question: "Which is more important to Jehovah: Truth or Loyalty?"
That should take the initiative away from their attack.
Jews in Jesus day were steadfast in Loyaty to their traditions. The Pharisees were duty bound to accuse any who strayed from tradition by labeling them apostate.
Latter day Pharisees are no different. Honest speech should not be condemned by truth seekers; only by loyalty testers.
Here is another thought provoking rhetorical query: "If you had to choose between Loyalty to Jehovah or Loyalty to a religion who claimed to represent Jehovah, which should we choose?"
The answer is: we can't serve man rather than God.
The issue is one of integrity to truth beyond mere claims.
