by miseryloveselders 88 Replies latest jw friends
Rebel, i wpuld point out that misery isnt married and dosent have kids. Wasblimd was making bigger picture point. And i everyone is of course entittled to their opioin.. Debate is healthy :-)
I feel for misery and wish he would feel free to make up his own mind, apart from cult influance.. But the path is his. No one can open the door, we can only be shown it. We have to tske action
Debate is healthy :-)
I'm looking to major in Master Debating.
-Sab
Tragically, i have enough life experiance in masterbating to earn a graduate degree :-(
One of my best defences against JW bullying whose goal was to get me to participate in some JW endorsed activity against my wishes was the concept of CONSCIENCE.
It's a kind of thought stopping phrase among JWs, for example "I won't include my mileage in this expense report because it would bother my conscience".
Something I used to say regarding Field Service™, when my husband was aware of my questions and misgivings about The Truth™, was "How can I - in good conscience - go to peoples' homes and try to convince them that the Witnesses have something better to offer them than what they already have, when I don't believe it 100% myself?"
He agreed with my position - how could he argue against my Bible Trained™ conscience.
It was the same with Meetings™ - he knew how dismally the local JWs had treated me while I was suffering with postpartum depression - and I'd tell him that my CONSCIENCE was directing me to not associate with people who did not meet the criteria for Jesus' disciples at John 13:34, 35.
He actually talked with an Elder™ about the way the congregation treated me while I'd been depressed and said that the unkind, unloving spirit was a stumbling block for me (it was). He'd hoped that people might be more kind, but as it turned out the ostracism against our family just got worse. That's what opened his eyes and got him to leave the JWs with me, before that hateful spirit infected our children.
I know what Misery did this weekend.
Wow. Thats all i can initially say as I didn't expect to see this thread be within the Active Topics section. I appreciate(I hate that word, but its appropriate. JWs say it too much) all of your thoughts, including Iron Head aka B-Rock or as I referred to him then, B-Crock. When I post something, I open myself to criticism. I'm a big boy, and I'm not above anyone saying what they feel about me, especially if its warrented, and to some degree I feel it is. I really didn't post this looking for pity or sympathy. Really I posted it just for general conversation. It's one of those things that my coworkers and other nonJW friends don't understand. It's also one of those subjects that cannot be discussed with every JW either. Some JWs have a sense of humor and can jokingly envy their worldly neighbors sleeping in on Saturday morning, whereas other JWs find solace in believing some day they'll occupy their Satan-siding neighbor's home in the near future after Armageddon. Funny how those same JWs of the latter category will be the first to tell you about how loving JWs are too. As far as their love goes, all I can say is, you gotta love it. The irony that is.
This morning wasn't too bad, although it would have been far better had I still been slumbering in the bed until the afternoon. Quite a few people showed up, including some from other service groups who had a limited turnout due to whatever reasons. There was roughly a dozen of us. I took them to a semi-well to do neighborhood, I guess you can call it upper middle class with some upper class folks. Everyone was real pleasant towards us which made for pretty much a boring time out. The apathy is so depressing that I've reached a point that I enjoy it when someone belligerent comes out to let us have it. At least its some action, ya know? It gives you something to laugh about later. It's unseasonably warm out where I'm at today, although we've got a cold front coming through, so I expect by tommorrow the weather will be back to normal. Should get some snow later this week.
Later on today after work, I promised a younger brother I'd give him a hand on his first #3 talk, formerly the #4 talk for those of you who've been gone awhile. On one hand he's excited to be delivering it, but on the other hand, he's scared out of his mind and doesn't have the slightest idea where to begin. I mention that to you because I want to illustrate what makes it difficult for me to just walk away from this. My congregation, and my family, are not contentious. That's not to say that its perfect either, as we're dealing with imperfect people so there's always going to be an issue. In my case though, its not so much of an issue that it makes it easy for me to simply walk away in a bad mood. There's times I read some of your stories on this forum, and it hurts me to see what many of you have went through. Nobody should have to grow up, or be married in such circumstances. Especially you women, I just couldn't imagine what you gals have dealt with. I wish I could do something for each and every one of you. At the same time, some of your family situations I envy slightly because I know if I was in those shoes, it would make it easier for me to walk away from this religion.
As it stands, I feel like a bad guy to walk away. You know I don't view JWs as the problem as much as I view the WT as the problem. What the WT has created is a no win situation for those that no longer believe, if they ever believed. As it stands now, I still believe in God, but I don't believe there's anything special about the several old white dudes with a token black that we call the Governing Body. They're just men who bleed like me and use toilet paper like me. There's nothing special about them. It's sad though that one can't just come out and admit that without repurcussions. I mentioned on another thread that when I was younger, I was wreckless, and part of why I lived my life like that was because back then at the end of the day, it all fell upon me. My decisions, no matter how bad they were, fell upon me. Now that I'm older, as an adult, my decisions affect not only myself, but others around me. I've got elderly parents, an elderly grandmother, other siblings, and others in the congregation that have tremendous affection for me. In some cases, not only do they have affection for me, but they also depend on me. To hurt my family and those people is not something I'm prepared to do at this time. It would be easier to deal with it, if my family wasn't affected, but those good ol boys in New York just can't have someone like you and me slipping away without being stripped of our dignity.
You know after field service today, an older brother approached me and thanked me for allowing him to join up with our group. He also thanked me for allowing him to work the low side of the streets we worked as he can't do steps any longer. Older people like him still believe in all of this, and I think at this late inning of their ball game, they probably need this. You know, the 30 hour initiative for April sounds stupid to anyone who's awake in this organization. For those who still desperately need to believe that they're doing something for God, they need special activities like April. They're happy as hell, and I'm happy for them. Heck, I'll support them where I can. I just wish they could be supportive of me, if I decide to walk away from this organization. Until the good ol boys in Bethel do that, folks like me are stuck in limbo for as long as "we choose to" per Rebel8's words which I agree with.
Anyways, I've got to get back to work. People need their money in 15 business days. Again this thread wasn't a pity party, just general conversation. Thanks for ALL of your comments, input, and support. Have a great weekend everybody!
Sincerely, MLE(Emily)
Inside Man, wow, I wonder if Puff gotta hernia after working that out. Geez, azz so fat you can see it from the front!
MLE: Why don't you just step down as an elder and fade?????? You are killing yourself not only by knowing the truth about the troof but also by forcing yourself to do extra shit for wts and helping jws to be closer to the wts! You don't enjoy it and want freedom and yet you don't want to leave your family, do the fade. The longer you help jws the harder it will be when you finally quit only to see all these jws ignore you when you see them in public. It doesn't sound like you're too old to do it and if it's only adult family that may give you grief, so what. I understand when people stay in relationship for the kids, trust me I know. This relationship with wts is just bringing you down and it will never stop until you die slaving for them. Fade or DA.
misery you have a pm.
-Sab
I didn't expect to see this thread be within the Active Topics section.
Didn't expect it...
