Wow, This is Getting Tougher!

by Franklin Massey 61 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  pirata

  Public talks: "lose" the outlines you no longer feel comfortable with and choose ones that emphasize Christian qualities or similar. Skip over any points you don't agree with (or maybe over-highlight them so the public may perk up their ears and say "they believe that???")

  Bible Highlights: Highlights God's qualities, fruits of the spirit, christian living. Leave out stuff you don't agree with

  Service Meeting Parts: If you get a subject you can't stomach, trade in advance.

  Congregation Bible Study / Watchtower Study: Concentrate on the scriptures and bring out the context of scriptures, you can always gloss over certain paragraphs in the interest of time, or emphasize them hoping someone catches on to the absurdity.

  If the subject matter does not really allow for circumventing what you disagree with, use phrases like "the Watchtower states...", "the book '------' states...", "the Governing Body teaches...", "the outline/paragraph says..." etc.

  Sometimes just let the scriptures do the talking. Once I was discussing and article on "house-to-house" preaching and Luke 10:5 was referenced. To put things in context I had Luke 10:1, 5-7 read, which states at the end "Do not be transferring from house to house", I did not comment on this at all, but from the expression on one person's face, it was clear that they had never seen this scripture before in this context and will hopefully make them think.
• 

  treadnh2o

  This ws the catalyst for me stepping down. I recall giving public talks (45 min back then), ones I had given multiple times where the words were on autopilot, yet in my mind I kept thinking this is B*llsh*t while giving the talk. In my case it only got worse. The PO had to "correct my thinking" several times in areas I replied were innocent mistakes due to nerves.

  It will only get tougher, so stop looking for a fix to this problem. If you are not going to step down, request a break due to family, illness, work, etc.

  BTW-you opened a door that there is no turning back from. The best thing you can do is plan your exit.
• 

  Hoffnung

  "I almost slipped and gave what would have been a controversial personal opinion."

  Nice to read how fast things are changing for you. If you don't want this slips happen again, you will have to rehearse more. On the other hand, you are in a unique position, you might as well use this opportunity to the full. You might plan ahead for reversing slips without really disproving them. We have a MS in our congo who is quite an expert in this. In the discussion of the famous WT 15/09/2010 article, after the par 8, he answered: "You could say now that the Governing body members are the leaders of the Jehovah's Witnesses as the pope is for Catholics, but that is not the case." Things like these might help some of your congo to wake up as well. On another occasion he mentioned that there was a 'widespread controversy in the "world" about the year the babylonians destroyed Jerusalem'. This might help others to start doing their own research. If you are a COBOE you can assign yourselves whatever you want, and otherwise you can change with other elders parts you cannot give. In worst case faking depression and 'fear of the platform' might provide a way out.

  I am very happy I was not a MS any more when I woke up. I cannot get myself to preach to strangers "the good news" any more, let alone defend doctrines I have come to despise from the platform. No matter which way you decide, more effort will be required. The least you will have to do is research every assignment as soon as you know of it, and if you cannot do it, swap with another elder, for whatever reason (project at work, holiday,etc..).
• 

  Franklin Massey

  Bro. Dan. Thank you for sharing. SBC and trueone, thank you for the direct questions/comments.

  I'm not a faithful follower of this religion. Unfortunately, the WT doesn't allow one to bow out gracefully if they disagree with certain aspects of the religion. Both sides of my JW family (mine and my wife's) have been facing a lot of difficulty over the last couple of years. Sickness, injury, depression, family issues, economic troubles. In addition, my little congregation is in need of assistance. We have an aging servant body and a declining population. My wife and I have been fortunate to not be personally affected by any recent catastrophe. Our family and friends turn to us for support. I do not want to be a cause of stress, worry, and confusion to an already vulnerable bunch. I don't want to let my sisters and brothers down either. I do not mean this next comment in a boastful way: I have a good speaking and teaching ability. I handle at least one meeting part per week and do a lot of the behind-the-scenes work in the congregation. I love everyone too much to let them down and hurt them all right now. Although I would like to fade, I have yet to devise a working plan. Also, in my position, I have the ability to help others either wake up or gain comfort from some of the heavier elements of JW life. In JW world, I'm playing a role. This is the game I've decided to play. It's not an easy one. The more I study and research, the harder it all becomes as the truth about the Truth grows more apparent.

  I'm not going to laundry list my personal beliefs here. I'll spare you that. My question is, who has had success at juggling a "loss of religion" if you will, with everything else that goes along with the busy and intricately woven JW routine?

  Maybe stepping down is the answer. But before I do that, I would like to weigh any other viable options.
• 

  Franklin Massey

  Thanks Clarity. You're right. I was on the "climb the Orgazational ladder" fast track when I started doing the deep research that made me question my beliefs. The momentum is unbelievable though, especially when you're in an area where help is needed. I just kept piling on the responsibilities and assignments. Now I'm in so deep. If I leave, there will be a gaping hole. When we miss even one or two meetings for vacation or sickness the friends come up and say how much they missed us and how they wish I would have been able to handle this part or that assignment. Flattering and heartbreaking.

  We wanted to switch halls a couple of times but right when we are about to pull the trigger, a young MS/pioneer couple moves away, an elderly servant dies, or an elder's family goes into crisis. Then we end up picking up even more responsibilities. We are a shrinking hall and all of the brothers are maxed out with duties. Last year an elder from another hall tried to recruit us to their hall. Our PO overheard the conversation and clearly stated that we are needed here and that they can't lose us.

  The shortened public talks have helped. I was happy to cut out a big section on 1914 and the 144,000 from one of my outlines.

  Miz, Cuz see, when I say "after the meeting", I'm not lying because I'm generally ecstatic that the meeting is over. You can do that with Service Meeting parts too. Instead of saying, "isn't field service invigorating?", you can say, "don't you feel good after you're done with field service?" You do feel good "after" field service, cuz you hated every second of it from the time you got up in the morning, to meeting with the group, to knocking on the doors of an apathetic neighborhood. I needed that laugh! Thanks!

  Sometimes I look out in to the audience at the blank faces and I just want to cry. I want to say, "I have doubts. Maybe you do too. It's OK. God isn't going to destroy us for it. Let's start talking about this stuff together."
• 

  Curtains

  Hoffnung mentions some good points. A local witness also does the same. A couple of points they brought out recently were

  In commenting on John 14:12 (Jesus followers doing works greater than him)

  they said

  We truly have done works greater than Jesus just as Jesus said we would. He began his preaching campaign at the age of 30 and continued working intensively for 3 1/2 years. Whereas many here have been preaching from childhood.

  another time in commenting on Matthew 24:45 Who really is the faithful and discreet slave ...

  they said: This is a marvellous verse for interrogating false religion as it's importance lies in the fact that it is a question. And this question can be put to all religions and they must provide an answer to Jesus Christ. Of course Jehovahs witnesses have already replied to this question.

  edit: however if you feel that you would be letting your brothers and sisters down it is best not to use these tactics. the person who makes these sorts of comments has been fading for some time now and has come to terms with their own interaction with Jehovahs witnesses.
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  FM,

  Yeah, I remember that feeling. I avoided certain subjects. Some things I approached like we were trained by Watchtower to do during school, "the book says that dinosaurs lived millions of years ago, and that man has evolved." Now I flip it. "The Watchtower says dinosaurs died in the flood and evolution doesn't happen", but I don't believe Watchtower.

  About that time that it was driving me crazy, I was removed as an elder under false charges.
• 

  stuckinamovement

  I couldn't do it any longer and quit recently. If you don't believe in it, just step down. It was the best decision of my life. I know now that I am not teaching people to believe something that I don't. It has resloved much of my inner turmoil.

  Franklin, You have the best opportunity to step down with your wife being pregnant. " Brothers, my wife needs a lot of care right now, and when the baby comes it will consume almost all of my time". " I can't devote the time that is required to prepare talks." " I am sure you brothers understand how this is my first priority before the congregation's needs". "I look forward to the time when I can serve again."

  SIAM
• 

  Doubting Bro

  FM,

  I understand exactly what you're going through. I was in the same position for awhile. Pirata's advice was pretty much how I handled it. I also played word games as Miz does and no one seemed to notice. I'm still on the TMS and now only give talks about 3 times a year as opposed to one part a week when I was an elder. Even then, I had a part from the Reasoning book about whether JWs think they have the true religion. So, I spoke in the third person because quite frankly, they do believe they are the true religion. I just couldn't say we because I most certainly do not think that way (anymore).

  Prayers were easier for me. I really tried to just focus "we appreciate your Word" as opposed "we appreciate your organization". I'd pray for everyone in the congregation to be strengthened which I meant, just not strengthened to continue doing the bidding of the WTS.

  Sometimes I look out in to the audience at the blank faces and I just want to cry. I want to say, "I have doubts. Maybe you do too. It's OK. God isn't going to destroy us for it. Let's start talking about this stuff together."

  If that could happen, things would certainly be much better. That's really a shame, isn't it?
• 

  JW GoneBad

  One thing is for sure it won't get any easier. The advice everyone gives is good.

  If you are going to continue giving parts, plan on developing a dual personality because that is what it is going to take. My wife already notices that in me and to her its' not very pleasant.

  So for the past several months I've been giving far fewer parts, commenting far less, spending far less time in F/S and just blending back in with lower profile publishers. The result.........I'm happier!

  Doing less is sort of a silent witness to everyone that I'm no longer going along with the GB program and yet they can't do anything. I really think many among our circle of friends admire that.

  Good luck.