Wow, This is Getting Tougher! (page 4)

Hoffnung

Let love for your fellowman guide your thoughts and actions.

Every situation is different, and only you can estimate what impact your decision will have on the people around you. Not to forget you cannot violate your conscience for too long either. If you cannot step down, what about telling bros and sisters in private that you do not always fully agree with the society, but that sometimes you have to say these things because it is in the outline/KM/WT article. It might help them to put it in a relative perspective. Can you bring yourself to encourage a youngster to consider a college education as something worthy to pursue? There is much you can do on a personal/private level to balance things out.

My wife and I decided to stay "in" because her mother is suffering severely from a Multiple Sclerosis type of sickness. My MIL just clings to the big A - big cure hope, and I cannot bring myself to take that last straw away from her. Even when we know it will never come. I love her too much to add this to her sufferings, let alone losing her only daughter and SIL in an "apostasy-disfellowshipment". But that is just for us, in our current situation. If we would get kids, that would become a very different ball game.

james_woods

I might be able to trump that - how about delivering the part about trusting the FDS at the recent Elders School - why oh why oh why.......

Yup - at least as bad as the memorial...

pontoon

I also understand. Body used to asign me to any major service meet blood part. Reason being the friends knew that I personally had to make a stand on blood issue. When part came out about fractions and conscience matter the body discussed who should do it. ME. That was the first part I refused to do. One bethelite kept stressing that just because it is a conscience matter it doesn't mean any decision you make is right with Jeh. So my reply was if this way or that way was wrong why can't the FS say so? They tell us right and wrong about everything else. At the time I did not realize it was all legal manuevers. Anyhow none of it felt right to me and I didn't do the part. Soon after my wife screwed up real bad, I told the body I was stepping down. They FOUGHT with me not to. I told them I no longer had freedom of speech in veiw of my wife's actions. They said that was all on her, but as the head of my house I did not agree. I stepped down, and knew I would never serve again, as questions were beginning to bother me too much. So, all I can say Franklin, do what feels right in your heart, be honest with yourself, tell the body you are under a great deal of stress (true) and you are taking a break from talks. (No details, it's not their business until you want it to be). Let them deal with it.

Mickey mouse

Cognitive dissonance in action.

It's a tough spot to be in. I can't really make any suggestions other than what's already been said but I do sympathise.

Franklin Massey

It could be worse, Franklin - I had to give the memorial when I no longer believed in the literal 144,000.

Yikes!

curious asked, I wonder how many like us there are here

There are quite a few. I've had some much needed private conversations on here with Brothers in similar situations. It's amazing reading other's posts and feeling like they wrote them for you.

Giordano

Franklin I was in the same position many years ago. I pioneered where the need was great in a very small congo. I was the assn't presiding minister (this was in the 1960's) Ministry School servant and for a while the Bible Study Servent plus other minor responsibilites. In a few years I had faded. No internet in those days and no way to do serious research......... how I got my wife and myself out is in the Search engine under my name.

The first thing that went was my ability to tolerate the assemblies. The next was the watchtower study. I really liked the people in the congregation and the last thing I wanted to do was get them confused. At that time I was rejecting the concept of a loving careing god and of course blood. I didn't know that the society was a total mess scriptually. Finally we simply had to move, I pulled our publisher cards and we never rejoined another congro.

If your wife is ready to join you step down. Or wind it down. Going to another congreation will help weaken or break the chain of responsibity you feel and give you a chance to begin a fade.

Even after leaving the JW'S you will remain the quality person you are. You will still have concerns for family and those who have relied on you. You can still help with practical advice, a scripture or even share a prayer if it gives you and them comfort. If you become a non believer your still going to be the same quality person.

SweetBabyCheezits

FM, I certainly understand your loyalty to those who love and rely on you. To me, there's a lot of gray area here as well, and who is fit to judge anyone for weighing the consequences and taking their route of choice? It speaks well of you to be so concerned.

That said, please consider the bigger picture: You may be "helping" the local congregation in the short term but how will it affect future generations in the long run? Will your continued assistance promote further growth at all? Teaching other teachers is a method the WT has used effectively in proselytizing. Per 2010 service year results, they've got something right in their formula for propagation. The question is, could your service contibute to future families being devestated upon one member finding out the Truth was a lie?

But, again, too many factors to be considered and, as you know, few things in life are black and white.

No easy solution, is there? Mine was not. I'd been a "good example" in the circuit prior to stepping down from being a MS not even 6 months after I'd played the role of Timothy in the 2005 DC drama. Friends were shocked.

I dropped field service pretty quickly (not being comfortable teaching others things I didn't believe myself) and quit the bookstudy a couple years later. Then when my wife woke up a year ago, we stopped attending meetings altogether. Our fade attempt was probably too hasty. My mom guilted an explanation out of me, I laid it all out for her and my dad handed my emails over to the BOE. We were DF'd last October, five years after I asked the elders about the 607 chronology.

If I could do it all over, knowing what I know now, I probably would've played charades for a while, dropping hints at the BS like some others have mentioned, and then carefully faded.

AnonJW

Prayer, Have an outline in the back cover of your song book, something like this:

Thanks for..meetin...spiritual upbuilding etc

Help us to...put into practice, benefit etc

May your spirit also help...sick..elders..pioneers etc

You get the picture.

I know of a C.O that has an outline in the back of his song book for prayers. If you are in the position that you have to say them at the moment, and it's tough then just stick to an outline!

SweetBabyCheezits

Giordano

AnonJW

Choosing column #2 : Man-up. Take the heat, pressure. Live with the result. Be true to you.

Sometimes the man-up thing to do is the thing that you don't want to(history proves it)!

Some choose to suffer and put up with, and this for the sake of others - their family mostly. Man up and true to yourself - those two sentiments don't always go together.

You are in a tough situation, don't rush anything - what is the hurry? Make slow changes, any changes in your life that you want to make don't have to happen today or tomorrow. Make plans - chill out - tomorrow the sun will rise and..it will set

Wow, This is Getting Tougher!

Share this