SBC Well with your wife out YOUR family is intact. Sorry about Mom and Dad. Having read your posts you sound like a great person, someone I would have on my 'lets do lunch' short list. Hey let's do lunch!
Gio
Wow, This is Getting Tougher!
by Franklin Massey 61 Replies latest jw friends
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AnonJW
Saying that, and posting (as I have the habit of doing) before reading all coments above - if you have no family or dear friends in the mix then step down for personal reasons - fade - end of story. The fact that you post means that something is tugging your heart strings - maybe I should go back and read all the posts here
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AnonJW
OK, read the above. My last comment was pointless, sorry about that!
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wasastar
Franklin,
I stepped down after 17 years as an elder prior to my awakening. On the TMS I have found that I enjoy giving the talks if I never use the WT publications in preparing it. This way the information it is not just a rehash of old info. I think the congo enjoys hearing topics presented in a new and interesting way. Of course I have to be careful not to say anything to wild. Now I am down to about one meeting a month and only giving bible readings. But no one counsels me and I never bring the TMS book. I like visiting with a few friends there and tolerate the meetings to acossiate a little. I understand why they are the way they are and like many of them in spite of it. But I don't think I would be able to just regurgitate the WT line anymore.
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Franklin Massey
Again, thanks for all of the comments. Some days, I feel like I do need to be in a hurry to make a decision. I'm a solutions guy. I like closure. This is certainly a test of patience.
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AK - Jeff
Wow. There is a lot to think about here, eh?
Lot's of good advice, ideas, opinions, experiences. I wish you well in finding a pathway that will allow you peace and solace. You will find closure - but it will not be an easy pathway, whichever one you elect. You believed you had the 'truth', that God was with you and your religion to the exclusion of all of mankind outside, and that the GB was his mouthpiece. Those premises are failing or gone now. You have to rebuild from there.
The other thing is [and this will be hard for you to actually believe at this point I imagine]: Your journey is just underway. You don't know where you will be in a year, and certainly not where you will be in seven or ten. I imagined at the moment I discovered that the Jw's were not the 'truth' that I would leave eventually. But I never believed that I would eventually reject all religion, and that I would someday question and then adjust my entire view of the god concept too. But I did. And I have never been happier in my life for having allowed myself to become myself.
Make sure you have a good plan for getting your family out if you think it possible. Make your plan and then work it to it's conclusion. Stand up for what you are/believe/think/accept - but that may not mean doing it suddenly if so doing will negatively impact your ability to retain your family and meet your other goals. Your views will change over time. If you are convinced that Jw's are not the 'truth' - then the only right thing is to get out as intact as possible.
Good luck to you. Hope you keep us informed. Peace to you.
Jeff
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OnTheWayOut
You don't want to hear, "Step down and fade away." So just step down.
So many want to keep what they have with family. I get that. But to have a measure of self-respect, everyone who realizes the truth about "the truth" has to do some painful things.
Living in the lie of the religion can be less painful if you are less involved. Find some excuse. Or don't even offer one. Resign, saying it's a personal matter. You can still comment and go out in the recruiting and be pals with "the friends" for appearances.
Personally, it was a one-way street toward the exit once I knew what I know.
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punkofnice
@OnTheWayOut = Personally, it was a one-way street toward the exit once I knew what I know.
This is how it got me. It was just too painful to live a lie that I announced to my family I quit. I left 'cold turkey' all of a sudden.
Yes. It isn't easy as Mrs Punk and daughter Punk are still in and since my departure are both more zealous than ever for the cult.
I am happier in myself for having left the mind control and indoctrination sessions behind.
Much happier than sitting in meetings listening to man made garbage that I am supposed to swallow without question. Said garbage that cannot stand up to reasonable critique.
Down side = Wife and daughter still in.
Up side = Freedom of thought!
On balance it's better out than in for me.
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WTWizard
Try missing a few talks. I wonder how long it will be before you stop getting these tough talks if you don't show up to give them.
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Franklin Massey
Jeff said, The other thing is [and this will be hard for you to actually believe at this point I imagine]: Your journey is just underway. You don't know where you will be in a year, and certainly not where you will be in seven or ten. I imagined at the moment I discovered that the Jw's were not the 'truth' that I would leave eventually. But I never believed that I would eventually reject all religion, and that I would someday question and then adjust my entire view of the god concept too. But I did. And I have never been happier in my life for having allowed myself to become myself.
Not hard to imagine at all. It's happening now. I don't consider myself religious. "Religion is a snare and a racket," right? If and when I leave, I'll never sign up on another religious group's roster. My concept of God is uniquely mine and should not be dictated by anyone else. Right now, after much research, meditation, and honest soul-searching, I would fall in the category of strong agnostic. I don't think we can define God, let alone say what kind of movies/education/health care/job/clothing/etc. it would approve of. To put a face on God seems disrespectful of what God could be. How arrogant it is to minimize the largeness of God (whatever God is) down to a human level.
As for the journey aspect, the concept of never knowing the answers to these big metaphysical questions is thrilling to me. I've embraced it fully. I enjoy the prospect of spending the rest of my life searching for something that I may never find. Where the tension resides is being a part of a religion that pretends to know who God is and what his plan is. Sure some of these religious interpretations and concepts are fun to think about and can serve as a sort of mental exercise. Could they be true? Maybe. Not likely though. No harm is hypothesizing but I feel it crosses the line when someone tries to present it as fact.