I've been outed... (page 9)

carla

Please protect your children from this cult. Look at how it has affected your lives already. You may or not be able to save your marriage but you certainly have the power to save your children from this abusive cult. Pull it together for your kids sake.

Curtains

pull yourself together and take charge. Tell yourself enough is enough and that you are not taking the blame anymore. A skill worth cultivating is to know and be confident that even when others blame you, you are not at fault but that you will shoulder your responsibilites nevertheless. Do it for your children!

Finally-Free

Don't go to a JC. Everything you say will be used against you, and you have nothing to gain by going. You will be DF'd. I think that's unavoidable now, and probably the least of your worries.
Get a lawyer TODAY!
Make an appointment to see a counsellor. With all the shit you're going through now, and more down the road, you're going to need one.
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! I can't emphasize this enough. Don't say or post anything that anyone can twist and turn against you. They'll try, and this is the first place they'll look.

W

RayPublisher

Daniel

The "two witness" rule still does apply in most judicial cases so if you deny her accusations they have very little to go on. So she says you are an "apostate"- The elders will ask you about it and you can say that you don't understand what she means she is not in her right mind and you love Jehovah and always will. You don't have to answer all their questions just deny that you are apostate and leave it at that. Unless they have further proof there is NOTHING they can do it is her word against yours.

VampireDCLXV

Dan,

I don't know quite what to say except that I'm sorry this is all happening to you and I hope you get through this with your sanity intact. We're here for you. Don't give up!

V665 V665

SweetBabyCheezits

Whereami: I can see in her eyes sometimes when she looks at me she's looking at a dead person.

Whereami, I experienced a measure of this myself, but not to that degree. For four years, my wife and I discussed (argued) our sides. She lost respect for me since she "married a JW" and then I "fell away". In that sense, I wasn't the same man anymore. But once she woke up, the loss of respect was replaced, she says, by greater respect. We now have a great relationship again and she recognizes I'm essentially the same person I was before.

Just know that if you had a good relationship outside of belief, you can get her respect back if and when she wakes up. Not all marriages survive but I'd like to suggest hope.

moshe

I will have my judicial meeting with the elders where I get to hear that fucking "apostate" word again. I----- but now my mama will never talk to me again. Nor will my daddy. They will be loyal to "Jehovan" to the day of their death. I've officially lost everything special to me. My wife said she will sue for sole custoday without visitation. I'm sure the courts won't uphold that. But it still hurts.

Did God turn away from your prayers? Well, the big picture is that we all have freewill and world history shows us that God can't or won't intervene in the affairs of man to prevent wars, murder, mayhem, suicides, genocides, accidents, natural disasters and even human stupidity. Your spouse has the right to be a JW and she can obtain a legal divorce- all this name calling apostate stuff is just a way to demonize a good person in order to justify their cruel treatment.

What did I learn over 20 years ago? That there is an proven truism in life = You will reap what you sow. Hardly anyone gets free of the WT high control religion without paying a price. The sooner you stop being a doormat for the JWs the sooner you will be able stand up and see your true path in life. It's up to you if you want go along with the WT's show trial and participate in the public flogging of your good name- or to tell them to take a hike.

Finally, JWs gauge their loyalty to Jehovah by tangible means- field service, placements, meetings, etc., so if you burn an apostate spouse at the stake, then by golly, you have proven to everyone that you passed the supreme test of loyalty and have received a guaranteed pass through the fires of Armageddon

Good luck.

nugget

Daniel I am so sorry this is a dreadful time and you are in the heart of it. Remember your wife is unwell suffering from something that is truly frightening she will not be rational or think rationally so whatever she says and does at this time is done in panic. She is trying to make sense of it all and as a result she has fixed on you as the cause. The tragedy is you are probably the one person in all this mess who can help and support her but you must let her have her way for now as you must concentrate on her physical recovery.

what she has done is a knee jerk reaction and it is likely that things will come to a head and it is only after this that you will be able to rebuild and recover. She has been hiding her concerns about your falling away and this may have contributed to the situation but is not the sole cause. things are rarely that simple.

It is easy to take the blame on ourselves, you are her husband and you love her deeply, you want to protect her from harm and make her happy and you want her to love you in return and trust you. but there are 3 things in your marriage, you, your wife and the organisation. If the organisation was benign then you could have doubts and walk away, your marriage could withstand religious differences so remember that they too must share their part in this tragic day they are the root cause. after all if everything they say is true then you would not have felt the need to leave mentally and emotionally. Also if your wife has emotional investment in the religion through family ties she will have emotional turmoil feeling she has to choose between you or them.

Do the practical things support your son and hard at it is give her space. You can still show her that you love her without applying pressure and being there physically. Write her a letter expressing your love and regret for her illness but leave it at home rather than take it to the hospital. Don't blame anyone for what happened make it as positive as possible. Don't let her think you have given up on the marriage and let her know she is loved. It is hard to be angry with someone who won't fight with you.

Perhaps your god hasn't entirely left you but is trying to reach you where he knows you have come. If people are made in his image it is through one another that we get support and help.

I'm sorry we are so far away you so desperately need a hug right now.

PublishingCult

Think about how this is going to sound to the doctors: I am sick and having seizures because my husband doesn't believe in my religion anymore.

Daniel, you can have your breakdown later. Stop it.

Now, is the time stand up and fight. Fight like you never thought you could. Confront, face, dominate, take control of the situation.

If stress is the reason for her medical problems, explain it to the psyche docs at the hospital. If she blames you for her stress, your apostasy, tell the doctors, let the JW's tell the doctors, let your wife tell the doctors that she is in this position because you are having dissimilarity of thought from the religion. Now, THAT sounds absolutely lunatic, doesn't it, that everyone is freaking out and attacking you because you are doubting the religion. By doing this, you will get professionals on your side. You will have the power and the ability to make those attacking accountable for her stress. You will gain rational support. Simple. Once you have established the freak show that is going on, the doctors will act in her best interests. You are still her husband, and you have the legal right, no matter what, to advocate on a strong level and get her professional help. If she is that bad off emotionally and psychologically, they might see fit to admit her for evaluation, at which time you get to tell your story and get some support.

Good luck.

The WTBTS tells us that God only answers the prayers of those who work in harmony with those prayers. This is bullshit double speak for, "there is no god, and you have to do it yourself anyway". Forget God. If he exists, he checked out like a high school senior after finals, and doesn't give a shit. YOU have to do this yourself.

Reality79

Hmmmmm........

I'm new to this board so I don't know the full history of the thread starter.

If this individual is telling the truth, I have to say that I'm really disappointed in some of the harsh responses to him. Granted, he might sound a bit 'all over the place' if you will, but as someone who has suffered depression as a result of the nasty jehovah wickedness cult, I know what it's like to literally lose your mind and suffer severe mental breakdown from the despair. It's something you wouldn't wish on your worse enemy, believe me. 2006 I went through it and it was the absolute darkest period of my life. So go easy on him, please. Yes, he may sound irrational and illogical, but how many of us DON'T know the extreme suffering this horrid, satanic group can inflict on people? That's what they do!

Come on guys, you should know better......

I want to assure brodan that he WILL get through this no matter how horrible things are now. Don't let these disgusting creatures win, they're not worth it. The elders can go to hell with their bullshit JC too.

I've been outed...

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