Bro.Dan, its true you're not obligated to go through a Judicial Committee, and considering the stakes are raised and not in your favor, an argument can be made to maintain your dignity. At the same time, an argument can be made to go through with the JC, and take a chance with it. Depending on the makeup your elder body, they may or may not be lenient depending on the level or remorse or regret you show. The Flock book is specific in stating that ones who have doubts, should be helped. Granted, we're talking about Jehovah's Witnesses who are all about doom, gloom, and shunning any who don't maintain the party line. In this case though, its possible you can show remorse and humility and turn a disfellowshipping into reproof depending on the makeup of your JC.
Regardless of all of that mumbo jumbo, I'm glad your wife is pulling through, and I hope you find some measure of peace despite the circumstances. At least maintain your dignity and reasonable pride throughout this situation. You're a man at the end of the day for all the good and bad that comes with it. You're still a man, and deserve to be treated humanely. Maintain your own self worth, and stop worrying about your shortcomings in your marriage. For every mistake you've made in your marriage, your wife has made mistakes as well. It takes two to tango.
