by LivingTheDream 42 Replies latest members private
Same thing with quitting pioneering - you need some good reason or they look down on you.
An organization with no real sense of gratitude. The tragedy is, why did it take us 10, 20, 30+ years to figure this out?
Such is the stunning power of this cult and the control it has over enslaved minds.
metatron
I agree, this is one of your best experiences.
jookbeard,
The thing is, these people were so darn NICE to me when I was a Bethelite, but the second I was not a Bethelite any more, they completely changed. It was frightening actually that they could turn on a dime like that. How do you turn off real feelings for people, even people you think are doing something wrong or making a mistake? I can't do that, can you? To me this showed there was no real true love or affection in them to begin with. The ability to just cast people out on a whim like that based on self righteous judgmentalism is actually kind of evil if you ask me.
The scary thing is, looking back and being honest with myself, I used to be like that too.
So, right now, I really don't give a damn what became of them. I just know now that I'm happy and have real friends now who care about me unconditionally.
I'm pretty sure they don't.
LivingTheDream
metatron,
You know, I ask myself over and over again why I put up with that ungrateful crap for so darn long. How in the world did it take me so long to figure it all out? I think I'm a smart guy, so how could I be so dumb?
I still scratch my head.
LivingTheDream
Living the Dream - you committed the worst sin, next to Apostacy. You said you wanted a "normal life." The WT makes that such a loaded word. I remember a bullet point list in a WT article, something like:
Are you tempted to cheat on your mate?
Are you tempted to take drugs?
Are you desiring to live a "normal" life?
It's sneakily equated with the highest of moral lapses.
I went to Bethel for a two week stint. It was miserable. I worked in the sun of Brooklyn grinding down the uneven concrete to be put in the gym...I was praying to go home. When I got back home the brothers wanted to interview me and asked me what I thought of it first...I said I hated it. I didn't get interviewed...So right before the meeting was over I said I thought I was going to be interviewed...The brother in charge asked me from my seat about the bethal experience...I said I hated it...Then I gave the theocratic response and said I liked it after the second week....Big sigh of relief from the cong...
Botzwana wrote: I liked it after the second week
But after the second week, you were back at home! Right?
Funny how noone wanted to hear the 'truth' about your experience as it may have tarnished there pretty fairy tale.
-Aude.
Red Pillar,
Yes, I think you are right, the term "normal life" is what probably set those two off. Bethelite "lifers" want to feel their life is superior to everyone else in every way, including other Jehovah's Witnesses. For people to want to go home and marry and have children and run a business or work for a "wordly" company is almost like apostasy. To do that is also saying that they are not normal, which of course, they are not. Many at Bethel forego having children for the sake of their work there for example and I believe most are secretly jealous of those who don't want to do that. They are also jealous of people just getting their freedom to decide where to eat and what to wear and when to get a haircut and to make money to buy nice things on their own without Bethel having to provide everything for them like children. They tell themselves that their life is better and they hate it when somebody implies otherwise. That's why they accept the excuse reasons people give to leave however, because it gives the leaving person a reason to "save face" with them and be able to leave when, to the Bethlite lifer's mind, they certainly wouldn't under any other circumstances. That's why they were saying to me "poor guy, poor guy" over and over again, they were trying to convince themselves it was my loss for leaving that stifling institution.
For me to just simply say "well, I'm done now, I'm going home" was an affront to everybody who was at Bethel, especially those "lifers". They wanted me to at least pretend to have an excuse they could swallow to save their face, but I wouldn't give it to them because it was silly and besides, it was not the truth. I wasn't going to lie to make them feel better as much as the temptation was to do that. Notice that you had to "give the theocratic reponse" in order to placate those weak minded people in your congregation. Most of us did that at one time or another in order to keep the peace and to stay out of trouble, even if we didn't believe it. Well, I was done with that.
I found in the end, that most Jehovah's Witnesses are actually very afraid of "The Truth" and cannot handle it, even though they claim it to be their lifestyle and they nickname their religion after it.
LivingTheDream
Botzwanna,
Oops, I conflated your response with Red Pillar's. It was you that had to placate the congregation tell them the theocratic response about how you liked Bethel after week two. Well, I certainly don't blame you. But looking back, it wasn't the "truth" was it? Well, imagine having to do that kind of thing over and over again, for years. Imaging having to lie to keep out of trouble for wanting to leave Bethel for example?
That's what I faced and I decide after awhile I wouldn't give those "theocratic responses" any longer.
LivingTheDream
long long ago i wondered at some of the things coming out of HQ and thought how dangerous this is all these people living separate from reality (no mortgage kids, cars bosses) in a monastery.
and all my wonders have proven right.
