Well done!
Yes, you'll probably get a visit either prior to, or during the CO's visit. But as long as you're prepared for it, you'll be right!
Best way to step down from being a servant
by RayPublisher 90 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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BluesBrother
When I needed to step down from eldership it left them short and they did not want to accept it...I had to discuss it until I truthfully told the c/o that i had a liking for what he would call Heavy Metal music..his face dropped and he left immediately. End of discussion , I was immediately removed .
The moral? admit to something . It has to be something that they dislike but not bad enough to merit a d/f...nowadays perhaps one could be an internet junkie or a Facebook fanatic ...or something................
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leavingwt
Am a bit nervous but have practiced potential questions and my responses like it was a mini-talk or demo on the assembly so I feel fairly ready.
One thing is certain: You cannot tell them the truth, unless you wish to be DF'd.
You need to rehearse dodging the unexpected question.
Responses include:
(1) I really do appreciate your concern, but I'm going through a very tough spot in my life, and I must ask that you respect my privacy.
(2) I would never do anything to hurt Jehovah or his people.
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leavingwt
More responses:
(3) I feel very hurt and/or uncomfortable when you ask that.
(4) Have you ever felt like nobody understands you?
In general, you talk about your feelings. You don't give your opinions or respond to charges of sin.
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Hoffnung
Most important, don't give them any concrete information to work with. When we got a sheperding call by 2 elders about my more than 1 year inactivity in FS, I told "something" from within me prevented me of going out, I could not bring myself any more to it. They tried with the "Field service is very important" approach and the "we would like to use you more, but for that you need to go in service" tactic, obviously without result. My wife and I had a good laugh when they left. They were absolustely clueless as to what the real problem is. So much for elders guided by Holy Spirit LOL.
Remain vague and inconcrete. It will make their tactics less effective as it does not give them any idea where to point at.
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LongHairGal
RayPublisher:
I am glad you did it and I would pretty much do it the same as you did.
Basically, I think the best way is cold turkey. Anything else is just prolonging the agony and having them pester you. Now, this isn't the same as fading but it will certainly help you ease into a "fade".
I would not answer the door either if I were home. I would even lock myself in the bedroom if my wife invited them in. No communication with them whatsoever. Just disregard any get-well cards and messages to call people back.
After a while, they will let up and some other poor sucker will be appointed in your place.
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Found Sheep
Good for you Ray! One more step it the right direction!
How did the wife take it?
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bigmac
"(2) I would never do anything to hurt Jehovah"
oooh now that WOULD be interesting---how can i do that?
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Crisis of Conscience
Ray, that is certainly good news. But don't think you are in the clear. I'm sure that per WTBS standard, they are going to want to get together with you for some "sheperding."
I had one just before I was "deleted" and one recently. On the latest one, I was honest in just saying that I was tired of the double standards and the politics that I saw often, even at Bethel, and especially as an "appointed man." And I also added that at this time I have no interest in ever serving again.
The elders that talked to me are actually "close friends" (conditional) so I felt comfortable admitting this. But I WILL NOT speak of doctorine.
The main thing they wanted to "encourage" me on was meeting attendance. I've missed my share of meetings, but have also attended a different hall in support of my wife.
They tried to also give me the line on "how much potential I have" and "how they could really use me." I basically told them it's a little late for that and they said they respected my decision.
We'll see what happens. My point is that if you were viewed as someone with potential, you WILL still be on their radar. Tread carefully. It's not over yet. That nice little voicemail is not an indicator of the future. But again, great news.
Best regards,
CoC
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RayPublisher
Thanks again to all for the flood of positive support and help. This has me feeling emotional and I am not joking this time lol. Do not tell anyone though, as I will deny it immediately and cast aspersions all over your new shirt!
@found sheep - I like you more every time you open your mouth! It's a good thing no one is "real" on the internet or my massive crush on you would drive me insane lol. Wife is taking it fairly well and understands why I have to do it. I was an elder for many years in the past and "stepped down" from that but that was long before I ever woke up to the truth about the truth. Started being used again and made an MS a couple years ago. It was very weird doing MS stuff since it had been so long- I barely even knew how to do the back counter!
@leavingwt - great stuff, thank you. I have added it to my "What to say" text file and know this drill well.
@long hair gal - Advice taken. I can stay in the can for HOURS already. :-)
@Coc - Thanks for the great support and advice bro. I'll keep it in mind.
Will keep you informed.Dang I wish I could go out and get a big big big pitcher of beer and just drink w you peeps! I totally need an apostafest in my area lol.
One small update: Went to my first meeting in two weeks last night and NOT EVEN ONE elder stopped and said hello to me. They all did the i'm-busy-shuffling-papers-walk-past-fast routine. Not that I minded...