Well i am new to this, and i must admit that at first i was very opposed to this site. I grew up being a witness and was warned about looking into apostate things, which is exactly what this site would be that they are referring to. I always tried to live my life the best that i could under the societys control, and never really got to have any life experiance at all. So what changed for me? Well 3 years ago i fell in love with the woman who is now my wife and we ended up sleeping together, so as you could guess BOOM, WE BOTH GOT REPROVED!! We both went and confessed what we did and showed true repentance to them, so that is why we were reproved.. What a battle this was afterward. People in the hall really treated me and my wife like total garbage. They especially did so to my wife. I just kept telling her that everything was going to be ok and that jehovah is still with us and its just people who are doing this and jehovah will take care of them. Well it took almost 3 years for us to even get any privileges back and i thought when we did our problems would be over. WRONG. i soon realized that people in the truth dont really care about that stuff. iF they dont like you then they dont like you, there is no two ways about it. If you are in with the popular crowd than you will be ok, but if your not than your life will be a living hell. But as much as all this happened i was still tryign to be that perfect little saint looking for the good in every situation and trying to encourage my wife to do the same. Well this whole experiance really took a ton out of my wife, and i was clueless to it. I just didnt want to believe that this was really hurting her. So just within the last month my wife has expressed to me how she wants nothing to do with the truth anymore, at first i was floored, i couldnt believe that she would feel this way. i thought it was going to ruin our whole family and it would ruin everything. I always had questions in the back of my mind about the truth, but growing up in the truth as somee of you know your trained not to think that way, so i never questioned it, i just stood back and shut my mouth. But this is different, my wife really opened my eyes to things and it led me to really examine my situation. I asked myself questions liike, if this was really the truth where is the love towards the individuals?, Why do certain people get put into postions like MS or elder, taht i know dont deserve to be because of stuff they had Done?, and that question was a big one in my wifes mind, because someone that used to stalk her and sneak her house and all this weird stuff, was appointed a minesterial servant, not to long after doing those crazy things. Anyway, my wife has told me that she wants to get a seperation becasue she knows that her doing this will ruin my life and she dont want to do that, and i have recently expressed to her my concerns about the truth as well, but she thinks i am jsut saying that to save my marriage, and i will not lie i do want to save my marriage, she is the most important thing to me in the whole world. We have a kid together and she has a daughter from a previous relationship, that i view as one of my children adn i love very much. My wife is a lot more important to me than some stupid religion that tries to control every aspect of your life, and i know that it has held me and my wife back from having an even happier marriage because of all that has happened. These questions i have had in my head for a long time now about the truth, even before we were together, but like i said i just chose not to think about myself and to just follow the society. But my wife has given me a way out to look at things in a different light. Why would i want to be a part of an organazation that is suppose to be based on love but in the meantime makes those people that i truly care about miserable. That is not love!! there are so many things that are shady in the truth and it seems like they jsut make things up as they go along. I know none of you probably care about my relationship troubles but i just felt like i had to say it to make myself feel better. If anyone has any suggestions for me as to what i can do to prove to her i am for real i am open to hearing them. Thanks
my story....
by losecontrol 31 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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Violia
Pick what is left of your self esteem off the floor and find a place you and your wife are welcome. There are some mean folks in the org. You have not committed the unforgivable sin, you are just people. I swear jws are the whitest, most self righteous sanctimonious bunch of hypocrite's I have ever known. for folks who claim to have love among themselves , they fail terribly.
welcome
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aSphereisnotaCircle
This is LoseControls post with paragraphs,
Well i am new to this, and i must admit that at first i was very opposed to this site.
I grew up being a witness and was warned about looking into apostate things, which is exactly what this site would be that they are referring to. I always tried to live my life the best that i could under the societys control, and never really got to have any life experiance at all. So what changed for me? Well 3 years ago i fell in love with the woman who is now my wife and we ended up sleeping together, so as you could guess BOOM, WE BOTH GOT REPROVED!!
We both went and confessed what we did and showed true repentance to them, so that is why we were reproved.. What a battle this was afterward. People in the hall really treated me and my wife like total garbage. They especially did so to my wife. I just kept telling her that everything was going to be ok and that jehovah is still with us and its just people who are doing this and jehovah will take care of them.
Well it took almost 3 years for us to even get any privileges back and i thought when we did our problems would be over. WRONG. i soon realized that people in the truth dont really care about that stuff. iF they dont like you then they dont like you, there is no two ways about it. If you are in with the popular crowd than you will be ok, but if your not than your life will be a living hell.
But as much as all this happened i was still tryign to be that perfect little saint looking for the good in every situation and trying to encourage my wife to do the same. Well this whole experiance really took a ton out of my wife, and i was clueless to it. I just didnt want to believe that this was really hurting her.
So just within the last month my wife has expressed to me how she wants nothing to do with the truth anymore, at first i was floored, i couldnt believe that she would feel this way. i thought it was going to ruin our whole family and it would ruin everything. I always had questions in the back of my mind about the truth, but growing up in the truth as somee of you know your trained not to think that way, so i never questioned it, i just stood back and shut my mouth.
But this is different, my wife really opened my eyes to things and it led me to really examine my situation. I asked myself questions liike, if this was really the truth where is the love towards the individuals?, Why do certain people get put into postions like MS or elder, taht i know dont deserve to be because of stuff they had Done?, and that question was a big one in my wifes mind, because someone that used to stalk her and sneak her house and all this weird stuff, was appointed a minesterial servant, not to long after doing those crazy things.
Anyway, my wife has told me that she wants to get a seperation becasue she knows that her doing this will ruin my life and she dont want to do that, and i have recently expressed to her my concerns about the truth as well, but she thinks i am jsut saying that to save my marriage, and i will not lie i do want to save my marriage, she is the most important thing to me in the whole world. We have a kid together and she has a daughter from a previous relationship, that i view as one of my children adn i love very much.
My wife is a lot more important to me than some stupid religion that tries to control every aspect of your life, and i know that it has held me and my wife back from having an even happier marriage because of all that has happened.
These questions i have had in my head for a long time now about the truth, even before we were together, but like i said i just chose not to think about myself and to just follow the society. But my wife has given me a way out to look at things in a different light. Why would i want to be a part of an organazation that is suppose to be based on love but in the meantime makes those people that i truly care about miserable. That is not love!!
there are so many things that are shady in the truth and it seems like they jsut make things up as they go along. I know none of you probably care about my relationship troubles but i just felt like i had to say it to make myself feel better. If anyone has any suggestions for me as to what i can do to prove to her i am for real i am open to hearing them. Thanks
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aSphereisnotaCircle
Welcome LoseControl,
I added paragraphs as I read your post, So I hope you dont mind that I re-posted it.
I like that part about your wife being more important then your religion, you sound like a guy with his head on straight.
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losecontrol
haha no i dont mind at all, it makes it easier to read. She is the most important thing to me in the world. thanks
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OnTheWayOut
We care. Don't be so hard on yourself. Show her this forum and what you wrote. Then tell her how you are willing to investigate why Watchtower is not "the truth." Welcome to the rest of your life.
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MrFreeze
There is life outside the organization... and it is sweet. It would do you both a lot of good, I believe.
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will_the_apostate
Welcome losecontrol. it sounds like you have your priorities straight, your family should be more important than your religion. JW's have no problem breaking up families and then they will still treat you like an outsider. If you haven't already read "crisis of conscience" or "in search of christian freedom" both by ray franz. I hope everything works out for you and your wife. best of luck
wta
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3Mozzies
Welcome losecontrol
Show your wife how much she really means to you. Explain to her ALL the doubts you have about this stupid cruel religion, she will see that you are not just saying it to keep her. Bring up points that will make her think that you really do see the crap in the religion. Burn the society's books in front of her if you need to, do everything you can to prove you hate the religion as much as she does. She loves you & will see it. All the best my friend.
3Mozzies
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JW GoneBad
losecontrol commented: 'People in the hall really treated me and my wife like total garbage. They especially did so to my wife.'
I feel your pain. And I've seen this done to others time and time again.
My advice: Sounds like your heart is in the right place. Continue to be a good listner; stay focused and reassure your wife that you are committed not to the WTBTS but to her & your family.
Welcome and wish you & yours well.