my story.... (page 2)

Reopened Mind

WELCOME TO THE BOARD LOSECONTROL

I agree with OnTheWayOut. Show your wife what you have written here. You wouldn't have come here let alone posted if you weren't serious about saving your marriage and questioning WT doctrine.

My husband and I started tiptoeing around each other about 3 years ago with doubts we each had about JW teachings. We are currently fading together. This has been a slow process for us because we have grown children and grandchildren still in. It sounds like you and your wife are poised to leave together. Having each other's support will make the process so much easier.

Please, please, please stay with us. You will learn so much and get a lot of support on your journey.

The number one book you both should read is Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. He shows in a nonjudgmental way what the inner workings of the Governing Body is really like. Also explore freeminds.org and jwfacts.com.

Looking forward to more of your posts.

Reopened Mind

ps. My husband posts here as TotallyADD

bsmart

Welcome, good "luck" on your journey!

simon17

Anyway, my wife has told me that she wants to get a seperation becasue she knows that her doing this will ruin my life and she dont want to do that, and i have recently expressed to her my concerns about the truth as well, but she thinks i am jsut saying that to save my marriage

LoseControl, sorry that you and your wife (and children) have been going through hard times. IT does sound like its time for an examination of what you believe and consequences of continuing or discontinuing those things. The part I quoted above concerns me though. Especially if you've confided in her some interest in leaving the religion, and she still is strongly pushing for seperation? That just doesn't sound right to me. Sometimes when there are problems in a relationship, its easier to not confront them by letting another (non)-issue do the work for you. I know because I've done that, and I've had it done to me. I'm not saying there's something wrong but I think its prudent to have a very deep hear-to-heart with your wife about how she feels about everything: her religion, her marriage, her mate, her family, her extended family, etc.

Lozhasleft

Hello and welcome...you have come to the right place here...you'll find comfort, support and advice for both of you.

Loz x

wyorobert

Lose control,

I was about to say the same thing as Simon17, until I got to his post. I agree that you have to have a heart to heart with your wife and just ask if the reason for her leaving is based soley on the religion. Sometimes the cummulative affect of fighting these battles adds up and she may feel like she needs a fresh new start away from you and her religion. I think before you blow your religious affilitation out of the water, you might want to make sure this isn't about the relationship. I'm not saying I don't think you should leave, but you might want to take it one small step at a time. You could end up losing your religion and then your wife all at the same time.

FollowedMyHeart

Welcome, losecontrol! I'm glad you've found JWN. It's a great resource and support group. I think both you and your wife are very fortunate to be in the same place at the same time regarding your religion. It will be so much better for the both of you.

You may have already done this, but just ask her what would convince her that you really mean what you say. Also, perhaps you can read Crisis of Conscience together and/or explore www.freeminds.org and www.jwfacts.com together.

I wish you both the best! The grass really IS greener on the other side!

itsbeenalongtime

I think you should give your wife space and let her do what needs to be done. Everything in life takes breaks....Everyone needs to recharge and rethink their life from time to time. If its meant to be it willwork out. If not stick to what you believe in. Do not give up on your religion just for keeping you wife....I kno wyour not doing that just make sure you arent, deep down. You dont want to lose your family and your religion all at once.

palmtree67

Hello and Welcome,

Palm

Please keep reading, posting and learning.

TotallyADD

As a born-in all you know is what this cult has taught you. Your reference point is the wall the JW organization has build around you. It sounds like your wife was not a born-in. If that is the case draw from her experience on what it is like not to be a JW. Take your time with this. I know you are at a cross road and may not know which way to turn but if you think it out and take your time things will go much better for you. This is a time you will have to be more open minded on new ideas. AS a born-in myself I found Crisis of Conscience a excellent book for born-ins to read. It really helps in breaking through the wall of the JW orgaizaitions has build around you. I would not recommend going to another reglion at this point, to quick to fast you will end up in worse shape. Lady Lee brought out not to long ago that for born-ins you need time to heal. My wife and I have been at it for 3 years now for her she is healed but she was not a born-in. For me I am about half way there. It takes time allow yourself that time.

Think about this in WT world they want a answer right now. Quick to judge and quick for others to make immediate changes. When you get out of that frame work of thinking and take your time to do the proper research you will enable yourself to make the correct decision for yourself. Which will help you understand were your wife is coming from. Good commucation between both of you is essential for a healthy recovery. Take care. As everbody brought out, they truly care and feel your pain. You are not alone. Totally ADD

Witness My Fury

SHOW her this thread and this site.... She will start to see you are serious.

my story....

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