by losecontrol 31 Replies latest watchtower scandals
You just put one foot forward ...now keep going. Keep digging.
"We have a kid together and she has a daughter from a previous relationship, that i view as one of my children adn i love very much. My wife is a lot more important to me than some stupid religion"
Never forget these words!
all the best
clarity
Welcome to the site losecontrol . . . we do care. Most here (almost all) have faced a crisis point that has led to the realisation that this religion is wrong . . . and damaging.
Interestingly . . . "lack of love" is a strong common denominator in the experience of the posters here . . . and that's telling when it comes to the practice of "true" christianity . . . think about that.
Take things one day at a time . . . and don't be a stranger now . . . you will get lot's of support and good advice here.
Luvonyall
Welcome. Information is your (and your wife's) most important tool/resource/weapon/comfort at this point. Learn all you can about the "truth" about the "truth."
GOD, I LOVE PARAGRAPHS!
"People in the hall really treated me and my wife like total garbage. They especially did so to my wife"
When I left My kids who did nothing wrong were treated like shit. Simply because I was their father. They were both in there early twenties. Thank god we are all free now.
What if it's true what the bible says "By their love you will recognize them!"
signed
A 52 year watchtower slave.
Did you know that 67% of JW born-ins leave (Pew research)?
My wife and I walked out 43 years ago. Since then nothing gets between us and our children. WE have profited on all levels, have been very happy, made new friends, have had great adventures and still continue to grow, study and read. The WTBTS is a sad little death cult. You can do much better.
Hello and welcome
I was always judged as weak etc.
read CoC
@losecontrol:
If anyone has any suggestions for me as to what i can do to prove to her i am for real i am open to hearing them.
I have a couple of suggestions, but, first, I'm going to make a few pointed comments.
So far, as I write this post, there are a total of five (5) posts in this thread -- from @TotallyAdd and his wife @ReopenedMind, from @will_the_apostate, from @FollowedMyHeart and from @kimbo -- all of these recommending that you read "Crisis of Conscience," a book written by someone that you may already know had previously been one of Jehovah's Witnesses and was unsurreptitiously removed from the governing body of Jehovah's Witnesses due to his having giving voice to apostate views, and by "apostate views" I mean that he began to offer opinions that were foreign to the things being taught at the time by Jehovah's Witnesses. Another book that was recommended was "In search of Christian Freedom," also written by the author of "Crisis of Conscience."
Additionally, I read the advice that was given you as to how you might invite your wife to join JWN due to its being, according to another poster, "a great resource and support group." @Witness My Fury suggested that you "SHOW her this thread and this site..." and @Reopened Mind suggested something similar, while @3Mozzies suggested that you do the following to prove that you love your wife: "Burn the society's books in front of her if you need to, do everything you can to prove you hate the religion as much as she does."
Historically, religious cults, like the Roman Catholic Church, would often have Bible burnings or would burn literature that spoke in opposition to the things it taught. What is so wrong with our literature that any of it deserves to be burned? This is not the Society's literature; this literature was financed by the contributions that you and other Jehovah's Witnesses have made over the years toward it, and it was not only produced by Jehovah's Witnesses, but they voluntarily produce it so that we -- Jehovah's Witnesses -- might have adequate literature to distribute to others in helping them to learn about this good news of the kingdom, about what God purposes are toward this earth and about the resurrection.
@FollowedMyHeart indicated that "both you and your wife are very fortunate to be in the same place at the same time regarding your religion," and @Giordano added:
"My wife and I walked out 43 years ago. Since then nothing gets between us and our children. WE have profited on all levels, have been very happy, made new friends, have had great adventures and still continue to grow, study and read. The WTBTS is a sad little death cult. You can do much better."
Think about what all of the posts you read in this thread tell you about the people that wrote them. Not once did any of them mention Jehovah, did they? Why do you suppose on a website called "Jehovahs-Witness.net," Jehovah's name isn't mentioned by any of these posters as if they recognized Him as being their God? They each of them have their own god; they are each of them, in fact, laying gifts of bitterness, discontent and even slander at the feet of their own selfish desires to which they are vigorously giving worshipful devotion, for they have totally abandoned Jehovah for a number of reasons, envy being one of them. Fortunately for you, I am not in a disgruntled state of mind, not angry, not bitter with one or more of the elders with whom they may not have gotten along or with whom they simply had a falling out over ignorant things that they might have said, as if expecting perfection from these imperfect men.
You seem to have some of this same spirit as they, and I submit that this may well be due to the imperfections you've personally seen in the local elders appointed as such in your congregation during the years that you have been one of Jehovah's Witnesses, for you wrote:
People in the hall really treated me and my wife like total garbage. They especially did so to my wife.
I've had a similar experience, but I left that congregation because at that time my fiery personality might have eventually led to be laying one of them out. (I'm a pretty big guy.) Typically when one elder says something that is borderline offensive to someone or keeps himself separates from some in the congregation, others may flock to join that elder and come across as being borderline offensive to certain ones not in their "clique," which is what it is, but Jehovah's organization is deleting elders one by one, even if you are not aware of what we are doing. In the meantime though, you cannot allow yourself to be stumbled over their conduct, for as you contemplate how the conduct of those taking the lead turns out, you should only be imitating their faith, and not their imperfections. But then you go to write:
I just kept telling her that everything was going to be ok and that jehovah is still with us and its just people who are doing this and jehovah will take care of them. Well it took almost 3 years for us to even get any privileges back and i thought when we did our problems would be over. WRONG. i soon realized that people in the truth dont really care about that stuff. iF they dont like you then they dont like you, there is no two ways about it. If you are in with the popular crowd than you will be ok, but if your not than your life will be a living hell.
Are you seriously alleging that all Jehovah's Witnesses behave in exactly the same way that these elders behaved toward you and your wife during your tenure in this congregation? Perhaps you've been following men instead of following the Lord Jesus Christ without your even being aware of it, but even if you feel you must conclude that 'Jehovah's Witnesses are not loving, so how could they possibly have the truth?' @losecontrol, I would just remind you that there is absolutely no Christian denomination that gets along with others better than do Jehovah's Witnesses, no matter where they happen to be living on this planet, for we all of us believe the same things and try to make the adjustments that we are convinced from our study of the Bible ought to be made, since no two people are exactly the same.
I cannot speak to the three years you and your wife spent in virtual exile after a reproof , but maybe in hindsight it would have been better had you and she moved to a different congregation since it seems -- I don't really know, but it seems to me -- that you and she were battling worldly attitude that had crept into the congregation that you were attending at that time. Again, I'm only speculating here and do not know what the situation was, but the "living hell" that was your life wasn't caused by Jehovah, wasn't caused by elders in some other congregation, wasn't cause by me.
But this is different, my wife really opened my eyes to things and it led me to really examine my situation. I asked myself questions [like], if this was really the truth where is the love towards the individuals?, Why do certain people get put into [positions] like MS or elder, [that] i know dont deserve to be because of stuff they had Done?, and that question was a big one in my wifes mind, because someone that used to stalk her and sneak her house and all this weird stuff, was appointed a [ministerial] servant, not [too] long after doing those crazy things.
You would really be using a very broad brush to be suggesting that all Jehovah's Witnesses do not have love for others and for one another, and even if I understand why you have drawn such a conclusion, the fact that you have seen with your own eyes things like you describe here regarding someone that you believe should not have been appointed as a ministerial servant in your congregation does not mean that the elder assigned to your circuit -- the circuit overseer -- was aware of the same things that you and your wife knew about this person, and yet it is the local elders that make recommendations for the appointments made.
Now both you and your wife can be just as judgmental about this appointment based on the personal knowledge that you and she has about this individual as much so as these elders may have been about you and your wife over a three-year period, and neither you nor they would be in the right, isn't this right?
But my wife has given me a way out to look at things in a different light. Why would i want to be a part of an [organization] that is [supposed] to be based on love but in the meantime makes those people that i truly care about miserable.
I suppose you could help your wife to see things a bit differently than she does at present, that is, if you wanted to do so. You, of course, have to decide for yourself if you think it would really be in your interest and in the interest of your wife and children to abandon Jehovah by leaving God's organization. @TotallyADD and @Giordano seem to have no difficulty referring to the "one faith" as a cult, but what exactly have Jehovah's Witnesses been teaching that suggests that we are such? Did Jesus start a cult? No. Is it not true that Jehovah's Witnesses are teaching what God's word teaches? No. Are we doing anything in secret as an organization that is dedicated to doing God's will? An answer of "yes" to any of these questions might rightly recommend Jehovah's Witnesses as being a cult. Anyone that would recommend the reading of "Crisis of Conscience," rather than the Bible, seeks to indoctrinate you with the same "doctrines" with which they themselves have been indoctrinated. They are saying that you can become a disciple of Fred Franz as are they, and just as Fred Franz' future prospects are, you can be just as dead forever, too.
Over the years, if we realize that we have interpreting one or more scriptures in such a way that has led us from obtaining an accurate understanding of those scriptures, is it not the case that adjustments are made and published in our publications that we might abandon our former understanding and 'make our minds over,' so that we are all on the same page? (Romans 12:2; compare 1 Corinthians 1:10) But here's two (2) suggestions:
One, if you can avoid such an action, your marriage would be benefitted greatly if you do not consent to a separation, even a so-called "trial separation." Being imperfect and disgruntled as well, there's nothing to prevent you or your wife from feeling so emotionally vulnerable that you open yourselves up to the possibility that the loneliness you both sense during your separation leads to a failure to resist the romantic advances of someone that you or she might like, for if adultery should occur, your marriage may come to an end and it will not be something for which Jehovah's Witnesses can rightly be pointed to as the reason the breakup occurred. Out of love, Adam listened to the voice of his wife instead of Jehovah's voice; out of love, listen to the voice of Jehovah and not your wife's voice. Maybe you can discern her reasons for wanting a separation; I have no idea what here rationale for wanting such a separation could be. My point though is that you are in a position to avoid shipwreck of your faith, and you can do this by you moving yourself, along with your wife and your children to a different congregation; if financially feasible, move your residence to a different circuit so that you do not need to see and be reminded of the imperfections of the folks that you met in the previous congregation that you attended.
Two, whether or not you should decide to take my advice here and move to a different congregation, preferably one out of your current circuit, do not leave Jehovah's organization, because nowhere else can be found the truth that leads to eternal life, and nowhere else does anyone sanctifying Jehovah's name. Keep your wife away from websites like this one since you have to be rooted in the truth to be able to withstand the missiles that are launched here at those the dangers of being welcomed by a community of folks that no longer know Jehovah, people who you couldn't pay to have Him ever be their God, some of them here being in fade as we speak. If you should want to talk to me privately -- and I do realize that you might not want to do that because of the fact that I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses -- please feel free to do so. Only post a message here letting me now that you have posted a PM to me should you decide to do so.
@djeggnog
Is that all you've got to offer DJeggnog? . . . move congregation? . . . give me a break!
Luvonyall - MS
Hi Losecontrol.
I'm a little late posting on your thread, but I hope you come back and read it from time to time.
I have a practical suggestion.
Why not take your wife and kids out for a meal, or the cinema? Make it at a meeting time. Show your family that time spent together is more important to you than going to meetings.
Good luck. I hope things work out well for you all.
jlp
Lose Control,
Religions build families, cults break them apart. I know it's hard to fathom that you were in a cult, as you are not trained to even think of the Watch Tower as a cult...but the truest of all religions. I ask you to do some general reading on cults - try the books by Steve Hassan.
Skeeter
