WARNING: Try Not to Throw Up In Your Mouth

by headisspinning 35 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  WontLeave

  Unless you're now an atheist, I can't imagine why you would feel this is the right thing to do. If you truly believe JWs are the right religion and perhaps a bit off-course, then give it 100% and mean it, while staying within the confines of your conscience. If you feel JWs are a cult, then you are betraying Christ by willingly aligning yourself with a group of men seating themselves in the seat of Moses. If you're only doing it for your family and friends, then you really have no faith, as Jesus said he came not to bring peace, but a sword and this would be the result of following him.

  But, as I said at the beginning, if you've become atheist and - like most JWs - everything is about appearances, going along with the group, and glory before men, go for it. Regardless of your reasons, don't hang everything on getting reinstated in a couple of months. That probably won't happen.
• 

  Black Sheep

  I don't fully understand the situation with your kids.

  Do need to be a Dub in good standing to have contact with them?
• 

  charlie brown jr.

  excuses excuses....some of us HAVE lost children for good and no one wants to see that happen to anyone......

  It sounds like you have all excues and i do mean EXCUSES to stay......
• 

  exwhyzee

  I do understand your dilema but my first thought is that it's best for you to be honest and straight forward in your part of this dilema rather than lowering yourself by playing at scheming games. You are an adult and a parent. I don't mean run and spill your guts to them, you owe them no explainations. If you want back "in" .....fine but if you ultimately want to be gone, you are most of the way there already. Going to all this touble to get what you want seems sort of "High School" and to me worse than whatever it was that got you DF'd in the first place. Why are you allowing them to force you stoop to this extreme level ? Who's life is it anyway?
• 

  headisspinning

  Hey everyone...

  I appreciate your comments. I'm just going to reply to poopsiecakes because I think she has the strongest understanding and grasp on the background info here... so....

  Poopsie... I never thought it all through that way...

  I am so newly out that just 'playing the game' seems so risque at this point. Do you know what I mean?I felt like so many JW's were doing that the whole entire time but I would never allow myself to do that. Just allow myself to see it as a game and play it as a game... even just for the sake of easing my children out... just that seems so liberating....

  You have to remember has far in I was and how tortured I have been. And my husband too...

  But please push back if I am wrong in how I am seeing this...
• 

  skeeter1

  If you go back, and get your children out...you WIN

  If you go back, and your children do not leave..you TRIED.

  If you don't go back, and your children remain...you LOSE.

  If you don't go back, and your children just happen to not believe in the Watch Tower...you got LUCKY.

  ...but remember the old addage..."You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make hiim drink."

  You can't make your children leave. You can't make them trusst you if they think you are apostate imposer.

  Skeeter

  p.s. You could start spouting off some of JEggNog's comment to help in your disguise. LOL.
• 

  poopsiecakes

  Sweetie, I don't have all the answers and wouldn't pretend to. You have to be true to yourself. What you say is correct - you're very newly out and still floundering. By 'playing the game' you're putting yourself in a position to be re-indoctinated. Seems impossible right now but believe me, it's possible and has happened to people on this board. If you're thinking to beat them at their own game, it's a lose lose situation. At least in my opinion - what you lose is something of yourself, your integrity. And remember this too - two wrongs don't make a right. Just because they've done it to you doesn't mean you have to do it to them. Walk away. Think. Learn. Open your mind. Explore everything that's been denied to you and be happy to be able to do so. Live well. Be happy. That's the best revenge in my opinon. And it's not even revenge because you'll be happier and more stable and secure. Everyone will notice - even (and especially) the kids.
• 

  skeeter1

  Poopsiecakes has some great points.

  I tried for a few years to get my relatives OUT of the Jehovah's Witnesses. I tried and tried to show them each & every wrong of the Watchtower. Later, I tried subtle ways. I got no where. What I got, was that each of them went further into their cult personalities. They defended the cult at every turn.

  Now, I only offer a "safehouse" for them. They can tell me anything negative about the Truth, and I reply with either no reply or ask a simple question. My only goal is for them to have one honest to goodness thought of their own. Just one little thought. Then, one may become many....

  I go on with my life, making it the best I can make it. I try to be an example, of a person who has lost the Truth but is happy.

  Read alot from professional cult pyschologists. the International cultic Studies Association is having a great conference this summer in Barcelona.
• 

  wasblind

  ((((((( POOPSIECAKES )))))))

  Girl you said a mouthful
• 

  VampireDCLXV

  I won't name names, but there is another poster here (she hasn't been around for a while) who's still on the inside and fancies herself as a mole/spy/double agent. She goes by the slogan... umm... what is it?... umm... "embrace the hypocrisy"? (I think?) That kind of game does things to your mind IMHO. After being here for a while and figuring out, post by post from her, what situation she's in and where she's at, I eventually started to question her sanity.

  Playing the double agent game just isn't good. As poopsie said, it's better to walk away with your integrity and your sanity intact. For your own sake, don't play the game. Be good to yourself, hun...

  V665