God's allowing gives me pause. I suffered agonizing facial pain for decades. Lost all. My time was spent curled up in a fetal position while I tried to distance my mind from my body. The suicide rate is 95%. It was utter catastrophe. Many people said it was God's will because I was supposed to witness how good God was by not being bummed out that I hovered near death or insanity. The fury I had.
The Holocaust always bothered me. I read a lot of the suffering literature throughout history. Since I was Episcopalian, I volunteered at a dynamic cathedral so that I would feel safe and protected inside the church. An author who worked there pointed out that Jesus promised us bad things would happen to us if we were His followers. Jesus promised to be present with us. Thereafter, I could relate to Jesus because he faced his physical agony and I assume he was not convinced of his godhead on the cross. His body endured the unendurable. God, hanging out in Heaven, had no idea what wracked my body and mind.
I spent years reading about suffering. Some things were helpful. Jung's Problem with Job, Job, itself, was so powerful. C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed. What I found reassuring what that they all grappled with suffering and God and no one came with a definitive answer. God created us. What lesson is he teaching us about free will? The Witnesses make no sense. Their solution is so reminiscent of other positions. They acknowledge that humanity was created by God and that we are good. If God created so flawed that He has to teach us a lesson,I submit he was one hell of a bad Creator. Human suffering is the one thing that keeps me from having decent faith in God. A puny God allows it. I refuse to accept suffering as a human condition. I may not have a rational reason for this view. It is a gut level. My humanity goes to archetypes and racial memories in my very body, not my mind. God created me with a brain that process information that is repulsed by suffering.
Maybe acute pain is necessary. Lepers don't have pain. As someone who endured for decades and found no satisfactory answers, I say God should know better. C.S. Lewis wrote a book called The Problem of Pain. I did not know much about Lewis when I first read it. Assuming he lived in London, I wanted to immediately take a taxi to the airport to spit in his face. He was so damn glib about pain being good. La te da. My plans were scrapped when I found he was deceased. Many years later, he married and lost his wife to a horrid bout with cancer. He was moved to write A Grief Observed. His pain is so palpable. What a difference.
The author of Job never answered the suffering question, IMO. Who created the crocodile? prose is side stepping the issue. Yes, you are God. You have the power to inflict pain and humans are puny. Why create us, then? I felt very good about being part of the human condition of being angry with God and demanding better. Let the Bethelites go into the cancer wards and truly interact with people. Visit the children's cancer wards. What lesson is God teaching them? Don't let me start about Adam. I am not Adam. First, I don't see Adam's sin and second, sin as hereditary. I've made my choices. Adam made his--and blamed Eve.
