Most hated Bible stories....

PopeOfEruke

Years ago, I had a pet-hate Bible Story, and it was this one story that actually started me on the path to freedom from the Borg-Org.

It was the story of Lot when he was living in Sodom and the 2 angels visited (dressed like men of course). And the crowd of Sodomites were yelling "Send out the visitors so we can bonk them senseless". Remember?

So what does our God-fearing hero do? Brings his friggin' daughters out and says "No you can't have the men, but here, take my daughters and do what you want with them!! Rape them blind, then kill them and cut them up to pieces for all I care. I'm too busy brown-nosing the 2 angels to give a shit.'

I mean, what do the daughters say to this? What could they feel?
("Thanks a lot Dad! You bastard!!")

What would Lot have offered if it was the CO visiting? His wife? His sheep? (I guess not the sheep, at least not the pretty one.)

Why doesn't Lot say to the 2 angels "Look guys, I know you both have penis's that can shoot nuclear bullets, why not zip onto the porch and blast those Sodomites to Kingdon Come!"

And the 2 angels just sit inside and let Lot offer his children to the crowd. Unbelieveable. What were they thinking?

This story still really makes me angry.

Does anyone else have a Bible story they really hated?

The Pope

larc

Pope,

The story gets worse after Lot and his family leave the sinful cities, as I am sure you are aware.

rem

There is a similar story elsewhere in the OT where a man offers his mistress/wife/whatever to the horny bastards outside and after they rape her to death he cuts her into little pieces and distributes them around the land. I can't remember the Bible book this account comes from, but it's basically an example of a duality (I think that's what it's called) where there are two similar stories, where one was basically a copy of another or they both came from the same older oral tradition.

Anyway, I always thought that story was pretty sick.

rem

"We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking." - Mark Twain

Smoldering Wick

This is one of my all time hated Bible Stories-2 Kings 2:23-25

23 And he proceeded to go up from there to Beth'el. As he was going up on the way, there were small boys that came out from the city and began to jeer him and that kept saying to him: "Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!" 24 Finally he turned behind him and saw them and called down evil upon them in the name of Jehovah. Then two she-bears came out from the woods and went tearing to pieces forty-two children of their number. 25 And he kept going from there to Mount Car'mel, and from there he returned to Sa·mar'i·a.

I mean...this guys walking to Bethel or something...and he's bald. Ok...we're fine for now...but, then these little children start callin him names. "Baldy, Baldy!" OMG watch out...He musta been PMSing or something cuz he sends a curse to the children and two BEARS come outta the woods and eat all 42 children???? WTF?

anglise

Have to agree that the one I hated most was Lot's daughters.
Explain that one to the local police system if it happened today!!!

ladonna

Abraham and Isaac.....

PopeOfEruke

I remember the rest of the Lots daughters saga...

They get their old man drunk in a cave and they have sex with him and get pregnant....but of course its OK because they thought there were no people left....

I think I would like to meet these girls....sounds like they really knew how to party......

The Pope

closer2fine

rem - that was my most hated too.

I can't remember what book it was from (do you?) I remember reading it during the meeting & was shocked. He was upset because his property was disrespected - not because a young woman was raped and butchered - sick.

closer

Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water, and a million years gone by - beth nielsen chapman

ashitaka

The Jonah bottle-gourd plant story.

God said that he mourned the plant more than people in Ninevah. I'll tell you what, some plants ARE better than people, hands down. Known a lot of scumbags in my short time.

ashi

tyydyy

I always hated the Jonah story. It never made sense. I mean if God spoke to me and told me to go preach then I wouldn't go the other way. If I were God and I just spoke to someone and they went the opposite way, I would tell someone else. Then he volunteers to be thrown overboard....Riiiiiight. Lives inside a whale for 3 days......Riiiiight. He preaches destruction to this city for a while and THEY REPENT! Riiiiiiiight. They didn't even worship Jehovah and this one crazy guy comes in a tells them God is going to destroy your city......and they took him seriously? Then when they do repent Jonah is upset about it......Riiiiiight.
As a Dub I can remember that I didn't like reading that story because it brought up too many questions that noone could answer.

I always thought it was harsh for Noah's son to be cursed just because he laughed at his drunk/naked dad. If I had seen my 150 yr old dad drunk and naked I would have laughed too! Either that or I would have screamed.

TimB

Most hated Bible stories....

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