by PopeOfEruke 37 Replies latest watchtower bible
Boy, it's funny. For years, many of us literally managed our daily lives and planned our futures based on these stories. Can you believe it?
I totally understand why so many professionals ignore these accounts and simply plan life as logically as possible, and focus on resources, "acquiring resources, conserving resources, implementing resources". Life is an exercise in management.
If we could only turn back the clocks and start over again, huh?
The story of David, when seeking to marry Saul's daughter. Saul "has delight (wtf??), not in marriage money, but in a hundred foreskins of the Philistines..." So David went and struck down TWO hundred Philistines and then brings back the foreskins to Saul, who is suitably impressed and gives his daughter to David in marriage.
Maybe nowadays it's the same as giving your intended a two carat diamond engagement ring instead of a one carat diamond ring. But what did he do with the foreskins?? Make a necklace out of them??
What the hell did Saul need the foreskins for?? What kind of a sick bastard was this anyway?? And furthermore, why would God "create man in his image" and then have him whack off the end of his pecker?? What the heck did God need foreskins for?? Does he decorate with them??
Plus all the stories of women who get raped and then blamed for it. Like it's their fault for being there and having a vagina, but the men have no honour, and no control over their sexual urges, and just have to boink her. Assholes!!
Love, Scully
In the desert things find a way to survive. Secrets are like this too. They work their way up through the sands of deception so men can know them. - The X Files
Scully, I think Saul had a yen for some rabbi calimari... deepfried foreskin, yummy!
If you don't laugh at the barbarity of the Bible it could make you weep...
*chuckles and smiles*
To quote a quote,,,,
quote:
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If someone lived a trillion X longer than you, and had a billion X more reasoning ability would he come to the same conclusions as you?
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The one I really hated was about Job. I mean here is this guy who went from having everything to haveing nothing.
If I found out that God let this be done to me, boy I'd be pissed!
"I have so much love to give, but no one to give it to."
William H. Macy - "Magnolia"
I hate the story where Jesus curses the tree for not bearing fruit out of season. Pretty dumb, Jesus.
Dedalus
Dedalus,
That's funny because that's the same story that bugs my Witness buddy (workmate). When I told him of some of the Bible stories that didn't make sense to me, he said almost the exact same thing as you! "It's Dumb" LOL
rem
"We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking." - Mark Twain
The *raping* of Dinah. The man loved her - asked for her hand in marriage, was accepted by her father & brothers - and then her brothers treacherously ended up killing all the males in that city, while the males couldn't move well (they had all been circumcised because Dinah's father & brothers stipulated that as part of the marriage arrangement.)
And no further word of Dinah, her anguish, her lost love, her punishment for not screaming (and you know by the WTBTS's yes/no/yes/no/yes.....she was lucky not to be killed too. This has always been presented as being ALL Dinah's fault!
Cruelty to the extreme - approved, or allowed, by Jehovah.
waiting
ps: And this account is in living color in the "My Book of Bible Stories" showing jw children what horrors can happen if they have friends outside the kingdom hall.
"Bad association spoils useful habits."
Foreskin Calimari, Mommie Dark? Thats the most disgusting thing I ever heard? What sauce could you serve with it?
It reminds me of the question of how you know if there is something suspicious about your hot dog? If its got veins in it.
Another violent Bible Story that caught my attention as a child was the one about the lady who nailed some poor bastards head to the ground with a tent-peg! What was her name? And she was on the good side! I wonder if she said "Nailed him!!!"
Imagine marrying her later and then she suggests going on a camping holiday...SHITE!!!
And who can forget fatty King Eglon? Some guy stabbed him in the guts with a freakin' sword and the sword disappeared up to the handle in FAT???
All precious memories..............
The Pope
