To the Household of FSM, IPU, and Those Who Have Gone With ....

by OnTheWayOut 60 Replies latest jw friends

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I say to those ones, "Congratulations." You have figured it out.

    The above is a fusion between the VOID (empty set ZERO WITH A SLASH THROUGH IT) symbol and a drawing of a unicorn. It can be said to represent NOTHING. (The one above is a little too purple to be accurate, needs to be pinker.)

    IPU, Invisible Pink Unicorn, was much more popular before FSM, Flying Spaghetti Monster, came along. IPU is the goddess of poking fun at "theistic" beliefs. It takes faith to understand how she can be pink and invisible at the same time, causing speculation that she is not invisible to believers. There is much argument as to her exact color, her shape and size, and other properties of her nonexistence. She burns with anger against theists, and allegedly grinds them beneath her holy hooves.

    As of the time of this posting, not a single Christian, Muslim, Jew, or Atheist has been able to prove that IPU does not exist (or that she is not pink). Her existence (or nonexistence) makes just as much sense as belief in the God of the Bible. The "believers" famous sayings about faith in the invisible pink unicorn is that, like other religions, it is founded in science and faith. Science - that states that she must be invisible, since we cannot see her. Faith - because we know in our heart that the invisible pink unicorn exists.

    If you want to use her for your arguments, simply talk like Yoda of Star Wars and present many paradoxical statements.




    FSM, Flying Spaghetti Monster, has become more popular of late and many have forgotten the IPU. To be fair, it's easy to forget something invisible and the male of the human species has always had trouble with the color pink, but loves spaghetti.

    Followers of FSM are called "Pastafarians." Knowledge of FSM started in 2005 as a protest against the Kansas (USA) Board of Education allowing the teaching of "Intelligent Design" in classrooms as an alternative to evolution. While IPU believers embraced smooth philosophy, FSM instantly smacked you with silliness, but His backstory covers all questions just as well as belief in Allah or Jehovah or any deity. If something isn't covered, the Pastafarians will come up with an answer in minutes somehow.

    FSM has been extremely popular on the internet and at college campuses. Please don't confuse the Pastafarians with cult members. They only want everyone to see the truth for themselves. There is even a Gospel of The FSM: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

    Like IPU, FSM is invisible and undetectable and is the creator of the universe. It has been claimed that the knowledge started in 2005 was simply a rebirth of such knowledge as pirates on the high seas were the original Pastafarians. Here is an excerpt from Bobby Henderson's original letter to the Kansas Board of Education concerning FSM:

    I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; one third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence. —Bobby Henderson


    So anyway, all who have gone with invisible deities or have possibly abandoned them for "logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence" are welcome to my thread to make comments. If you are not of the household of FSM or IPU or a former believer in invisible deities, then why have you read this far? Cut it out. All others, welcome.

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    I would love to see a cartoon tv series based on the FSM. The IPU could come in for guest roles at times, too. It could air on Sunday mornings right after Davy and Goliath reruns.

  • No Room For George
    No Room For George

    May you not have peace!!!!

  • Chariklo
    Chariklo

    OnTheWayOut, this is wonderful!

    I thought it was your own work ofm genius but have spent a happy 15 minutes or so Googling both IPU and FSM, and am now relishing the thought that both might be related to the World Turtle and perrhaps to the four elephants on her back too.

    What do you think?

    I especially like the Invisible Pink Unicorn. This is a unicorn with character. She has attitude. Definitely one to follow.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    No Room For George, you have to say that as a question then it will puzzle the hearer and fit right in. Try it.

    May you not have peace?

  • undercover
    undercover

    I think Pastafarians conclude their comments with "May You Have Parmesan"

  • cantleave
    cantleave

    OTWO - You are a blaspemous heathen.......

    You know the FSM is sooooooo much better than the IPU!!!

  • unshackled
    unshackled

    Though IPU and FSM are great deities, I have my very own. An invisible aardvark named Eddy, and he lives in my attic. He's the all-powerful, all-knowing creator of the universe. I've been blessed since He reached out to me. He spoke to me and I've felt His love and it has changed my life. All praise Eddy!

    - A slave of Eddy

  • AGuest
    AGuest

    Well, at least you're thinking about me... and, as a result, possibly JAH (and perhaps even Christ!)... Jer. It's a start. Sorry, though, still no "fight" in me, today. Got an appointment in a bit and need all of my good energy to get ready for that. But... keep up the "fine" work: I'm sure both the IPU AND the FSM appreciate your "service."

    Peace!

    SA, of the "Glad I'm [still] the first thing on your mind when you get up" class...

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    You know the FSM is sooooooo much better than the IPU!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJt_SI_uRt4

    There are plenty more youtubes. I personally liked the smooth philosophy of IPU better as people often didn't know it was a joke. While some people still don't get it, FSM is more obvious for deliberate reasons.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit