A brother I know well is in his late 30's and single and in good standing in the congregation. Has a job, house and a sports car but never had a girl friend.
What is your standing in a congregation if you're a man of 40 and never married?
by dgp 70 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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daringhart13
A 40 year old single brother has his choice of sisters. Its highly slanted in the guy's favor.
I was divorced in my mid 30's, an elder and a father of one. Before I left I was dating 24 year old, beautiful sisters. They all wanted a husband....and one with a 'title?'......oh wow, you're GOLD ............ LOL LOL LOL..........its so SICK..... they could basically give a shit about you as a person......
I left the 'org' 3 years ago.....shocking in this area as a 'famous' elder..... and I STILL have several "sisters" call from all over the west coast..... they desperately want a HUSBAND.... and they are all convinced they will be the one to 'change your mind about Jehovah's organization'.......
One of the main reasons I left was THIS reason...... its impossible to have a healthy relationship in that organization. Its all so distorted for both genders from an early age..... and they continue to wonder why there is so much 'fornication and adultery'.......... its a giant petri dish of insanity for a psychologist/psychiatrist....
I wouldn't even consider a woman that was a JW. They were destroyed from an early age.... and the ones that come 'in' later as adult women are all looking for that next 'elder/missionary/bethelite' because they've been taught too.......... your personality be damned....
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metatron
Gay, gay, gay, Momma's boy, gay, doesn't know he's gay.
Easier to do if you are in Bethel (but with the mass layoffs, increasingly rare). You can tell everybody that you're doin' it for the Lord (or actually NOT doin' it for the Lord.) Freddie Franz made a personal vow but still took a glance at Asian women (short like him and supposedly submissive)
metatron
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No Room For George
It depends, there's a variety of views that can be entertained about single man in this religion. Myself, I'm almost a decade less than age 40, and I occasionally get asked, "what's the deal, Miz?" I've never been thought of as potentially gay as I've never given off that kind of aura, although I have mentioned before on here a girl that sits across from me at work, hesitatingly asked me whether or not I was. She was concerned she'd offend me, and our relationship would go sour. I reassured her that we're still on good terms, but there's not a gay bone in my body. As far as those in the congregation, my own family, and the circuit, I've recieved various reactions as to why the hell I'm still single. Check this out.
My father, "Miz, you know the longer you hold off on getting married, the chances increase that you'll either end up alone or marry someone with significant baggage. Such as ready-made families(woman with kids), or disabilities whether mental or physical." Gee, thanks dad!
My mother, "Why don't you marry a white girl? You know you like white girls, and you're in denial about it. You just don't like asking white girls out, do you? That's what it is. I remember when you and that one girl that got disfellowshipped, what's her name. Darnett!! You know who I'm talking about!! Whatever happened to her anyway?" If you ever wondered what would happen if self-hatred and cultism miscegenated, here's a fitting example.
When I give talks away, I usally leave during the WT Study, or the break song. The reason is, I'm uncomfortable with people telling me how talented I am, or when I'll be giving talks at the assembly. I don't like that kind of attention. Another thing is, people try hooking up with me, or hooking me up. I can't stand that. I was once at a popular resteraunt down here, and there was a ton of JWs from neighboring congregations, so I hung out with them. The one brother's daughter hit it off with me, and I noticed that a business connect of this brother gave me the look. The look in his eyes stated, "Dude, she's yours for the taking. You better handle that." She was attractive too, and I enjoyed her company. But my situation just isn't appropriate at this time as I don't know whether or not I'm hanging around this religion.
Multiple Circuit Overseers, "Miz, what's your goals? Considering MTS School?" Most recently, "Miz, what's your goals? You're single brother, sky's the limit in Jehovah's organization. Have you considered the Bible School for Single Brothers? You should consider it, Miz! You really should!"
Old Friends that I occasionally run into, "You married or have any kids, Miz? No, ok good, stay that way. Wish I did the same as you! HaHaHa."
Older Pioneer Sister who tried backdooring some information about me by talking with my father. She asked him, "What does Miz do? Does he want to get married?" My dad and I still laugh about this, because he just started running off at the mouth. I accused him of snitching on me. That's my dad though, and I love him. That pioneer sister knows she'll never crack me, and she's tried, at one point even pissing me off to the point that she wanted to apologize to me and I avoided her doing such as I found it demeaning to her. Our relationship is much better now since I keep my distance.
Older male workmates in blue collar settings. "You married, Miz? No, good, don't ever do it. Worst thing ever!!"
Older male workmates in white collar settings. "You married, Miz? No, well there's nothing wrong with waiting. You'll make a great husband and father. I've been married 15 years, and I love it." Occasionally some white collar workmates will express what I heard often amongst the blue collared crowd. It confuses me to be honest with you.
Girl at work I did some training with on Friday, "I can tell you don't have kids." I replied, "what's that supposed to mean? Do I have a stamp across my forehead that says, childless?" She laughed and said, "No, I don't mean it in a bad way, I can just tell you don't have any kids." I don't know what the hell she's talking about, but I'm not exactly reassured at the moment.
JW friend who is a decade older than me, and who ran with the cool JWs when I was on the comeup. Seen me one day at the mall, this was several years ago, and I was talking with this worldy girl when I saw him. We started talking and he told me, "Miz, be careful, don't mess up." He meant it sincerely, and he's a good dude. I love him as he could tell what my intentions where, and they weren't good. He has a beautiful wife and son. His son is as cute as he can be. Looks like a little Al.B.Sure. We were working at the hall doing some yard work, and this little fella wasn't even knee high, and he had his gloves on. The sisters gave him the job of patting the dirt around the flowers after they got planting. He took his job so seriously, like a professional, cutest thing I've seen. Warmed my heart.
On the other hand, I know single brothers who were married at one point in the truth, and after their marriages dissolved, I've notice a common trend with them. They have absolutely, NO INTENTION on ever getting married again. JW men after getting burned are like independent women who've been burned one too many times. They value their independence and are A-ok dying that way too.
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Paralipomenon
22 years of women throwing themselves at you and not one piques your interest? Have to go with gay.
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Lied2NoMore
yea and these hypocrites try to council married ones how to have a better marriage and how to raise your children...im an MS currently in good standing, but have told a couple elders already to back off from any council to my wife and daughter because of their stupidity and bogus modesty council..... if they have anything to say they will come to me....im 6 foot 5 and 300 + lb's ...so far they have kept at bay....ha ha ........
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Iamallcool
Fred Franz, John Booth, George Gangas, all of them are deceased never married governing body members. They have been in the Watchtower way before they were in their 40's. All of them died in their 90's. FYI.
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Honesty
I know one who lives in another state.
In his 30's
College educated (his dad is not a JW and insisted he get a good education)
VP of a financial institution
MS
Unmarried
But he does have a 'worldly' GF who he spends out-of-town weekends with once or twice a month.
That is why he isn't interested in any sister.
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Honesty
No Room For George sez:
I know single brothers who were married at one point in the truth, and after their marriages dissolved, I've notice a common trend with them. They have absolutely, NO INTENTION on ever getting married again. JW men after getting burned are like independent women who've been burned one too many times. They value their independence and are A-ok dying that way too.
Spot on.
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Witness My Fury
I aint bloody gay and I fall into this category. ...Sisters want a "spiritual man" and I was never spiritual enough or so it seemed, titles like pioneer, MS, Elder go along way evidently. (I was an MS for several years but moved cong and wasn't made MS in the new hall, then moved again, then some politics in the hall got in the way and an elder kept blocking me being MS again)
I basically put my life on hold thinking the end was nigh and felt "so what if I get to be 40 and still single, in the greater scheme of things it won't matter".. Now, I am obviously pissed that I felt this way knowing now that it's all BS.
I'm good looking and a masculine chap, not some desk weed who could swing either way. What i mean by that is that some men do look effeminate and I certainly do not. (yes i know being gay has little to do with how you look ffs) At the moment I'd love a relationship but having just left "the truth", but it not being official in the cong, then my chances are nil with any JWs and tbh the last thing I need or want is a relationship with a JW, plus i cant start a proper one with a non JW without getting DFd pronto, so this is going to be on hold until i get myself sorted out a bit more. I'm basically going to have to move away and start over if I want to keep my family which sucks.
As to your question about status in the cong, then I am (or was) well liked and respected, no one makes an assumption in thinking I might be gay afaik. Though i'm sure it must get a mention and i'd be stupid to think it wouldn't. However when i was about 26ish one old stupid elder got it into his head i must have something wrong with me because i wasnt married and didnt have a girlfriend and basically insinuated that I was gay. The other elders had to sort him out on that one the stupid old pervert that he was.