What is your standing in a congregation if you're a man of 40 and never married? (page 3)

jwfacts

Socially Stunted

That was the reputation of most single 40 year old men in the congregations I was in. Though Paul says to remain single for the Lord, the consensus seems to be that most remain single because they are lacking in some way.

dgp

Well, I see that, for men, marital status does not define the man's standing in the congregation. Good point by Lamallcool. I wonder, however, what would happen if Brother Unmarried 26-year-old is at odds with Brother I-was-finally-reinstated-after-my-sleeping-around-and-I-have-a-prosperous-business. In other words, I wonder whether money plays a role. You can be an elder, all right, and you can disfellowship anyone, but you don't make "contributions" like mine. Would you rather not have my contributions, Mr. Elder?

The post by Witness My Fury seems interesting to me. You can be a good man but if you're looked upon as "not spiritual enough" then your chances of finding a girl do suffer. It doesn't seem like it's just a matter of picking your girl. You may have plenty of women, but perhaps not plenty of options.

It seems that if you're a certain age and you don't have a woman, they might perhaps gossip about you, but they will still consider you "undefiled" unless proven otherwise. They will sort of look the other way. As with an old auntie who never married, you "believe" she never did anything sexual, and change the subject.

No Room, if I were you, I wouldn't marry in the Lord.

LongHairGal

DGP: From what I have seen, unmarried brothers over 40 are "whispered about". With all those women there, and there ARE goodlooking ones of all ages, if a guy is single it is because he wants to be, whatever the reason. A single woman over 30 really has to look outside the religion if she wants to be married and to a halfway-decent guy.

Broken Promises

I agree with what LHG said.

In the congregations I were in, it was rare to see a single guy aged over 30. Usually they married so they could have sex. They had the choice of any single woman they wanted in the congregation, and they usually married someone aged 18-21 who had never dated anyone else.

If they were 40 and still unmarried, there would have to be a reason. Some would suspect they were gay. I know one JW guy who is over 50 and never married but not gay. But he dates non-JWs and I'm not naive enough to say he stays celebate. He's just smart enough to stay underneath the elders' radar.

av8orntexas

Hahahaha.

No Room for George that sound like me,except you're still in.

Worldly women usually asking what my deal is. I tell em'...hey for the last 10-12 years I was looking for a JW woman. I try to explain that to them,not sure if it makes sense.

I'm single,never married,good job,no kids.Relatively debt free,paid off my car. The guys at work are always like "man bro....you got it made. I'd wait if I were you." That or.."boy you're lucky." The ladies are always like: "you seem really sweet and nice. I think you'd be a great husband or spouse."

In the truth ? As a so called friend told me like 4 years ago. And I'll never forget it: "You're a great guy man,and I know alot of single sisters. But not a SINGLE ONE of them will touch you." I was late 20's and had never made MS. In that sense....daringhart13 hit the nail on the head. Some of the things he told me his SIL thought of me as well as other suingkle sisters was kinda shocking. Especially for people who didn't know me from Adam,but had a perception of me in a spritual sense.

In the truth I'm pretty much toxic. Unless I have some flash,cash or a title. Thats how I see it from my personal experience.

Broken Promises

I'm single,never married,good job,no kids.Relatively debt free,paid off my car.

So...... how you doin'?

JRK

Did I say gay? Flaming!

av8orntexas

Broken Promises not bad. I fell lucky. Part of it was I feel I had no title. But early in life,I put off alot of stuff. I sometimes feel I should be where I'm at now years ago.

I'm very single,lol

av8orntexas

I LOVE women,but I could care less what they thought of me at the hall now. I found some sisters to be very stuck on themselves. If you weren't at least an MS.......

........Brother PUH-leeeeze.

No Room For George

........Brother PUH-leeeeze.

Funny thing is, all those same sisters that didn't give you the time of day, they all end up in Judicial Committees somewhere down the road, or needing special assistance from the elders cuz their marriage is on the rocks. Hilarious to me. Reminds me of the old Biz Markie song, Vapors.

What is your standing in a congregation if you're a man of 40 and never married?

Share this