by Intel 109 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Simply stated: There is no painless exit strategy from that religion.
I find your choice though to be courageous, honest, and dignified. In the end, though it likely seems too far away tonight to touch, the pain will vanish. Those qualities of courage, honesty, and dignity will forever remain with you and a part of you. You will find them immensely useful as time marches.
Peace/Namaste
Jeff
Moshe said:
Good luck, Intel. Now you can live the life you were meant to live, while the rest of the faders have to live the life of a doormat.
Yep now you can really live, you should start by finding a way to penetrate local congregations and sneak in apostate-service days on your personal holidays; you should also make regular telephone calls to their kingdom halls to engage in lengthy discussions about the overlapping generation. Make sure you put lots of fliers in their car gas tanks when they're at meetings. Otherwise you won't be really living. Yep a new exciting life of never-letting-go-nor-moving-on awaits you.
In all seriousness - glad you did what you thought was best for you. I doubt you'll be following the life of those who can't move forward. In the end, however one moves forward and progresses in life away from JW and dark age religious belief systems is always a good thing. Some become Jews - and that's cool - as long as you're not doing it just for the jokes.
Personally - I don't find it necessary to do any official DAing. I was a member of some comic book clubs as a kid and I let those lapse too. I used to take them real seriously and they had almost a realistic importance that I placed on being a member. Then I just moved on. Didn't feel a need to explain myself to my fellow comic club members or their leaders. I just didn't do it anymore - just like with the religion
Here's the way I've decided to leave in my personal retake from the movie Office Space:
PETER [this is me talking to a cute Jennifer Anniston look-a-like at a coffee bar]You see, they wrote all this religious mumbo jumbo to explain the bible and why it's relevant and why they
are the only ones that can understand it.
So I go through these thousands of hours of meetings and conventions that
repeats the same thing over and over and go around to people's homes
and uh, it doesn't really matter. I, uh, I don't like my religion nor my life in the religion. I don't
think I'm gonna go anymore.
JOANNAYou're just not gonna go?
PETERYeah.
JOANNAWon't you get ex-communicated or disfellowshipped?
PETERI don't know. But I really don't like it so I'm not gonna go.
JOANNALAUGHS) SO YOU'RE GONNA QUIT?
PETERNo, no, not really. I'm just gonna stop going.
JOANNAWhen did you decide all that?
PETERAbout a week ago.
JOANNAReally?
PETEROh, yeah.
JOANNAOk. So, so you're gonna get another religion?
PETERI don't think I 'd like another religion.
JOANNALAUGHS) SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT GOD AND THE AFTERLIFE, THE SPIRIT WORLD
AND ALL THAT?
PETERY'know, I never really liked belieiving in nonsense and having one-way relationships in which I had to
attribute random coincidences (or worse - hallucinations) as communications from the supernatural?
So I don't think I'll worry about that
either.
JOANNALAUGHS) SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
PETERI want to take you out for dinner and then I wanna go to my apartment
and watch Kung Fu. Did you ever watch Kung Fu?
Joanna gets a weird look on her face.
JOANNAI love Kung Fu...
PETERChannel 39.
JOANNATotally...
PETERYou should come over and watch Kung Fu tonight.
JOANNAOk...
And that folks is how I faded - worked for me! I don't see no Jennifer Aniston watching kung-fu with some
Jewish convert that can't let go of his old religion. Who's the doormat?
I thank you all for your kind words!!!
There is no easy strategy at all....I wanted to leave the Org during my Bethel time....I couldn't do it then. Spent YEARS taking the "soft approach" with my wife....(one of you asked what I was expecting). Well let me tell you...after years of talking, talking and talking again...I was the one that ended up going to all the meetings again, Assemblies, doing all the "Singing, clapping and dancing" eventhough I felt being dragged further and deeper into the BORG again.....so I just took my decision and pulled the line.
"Cold Turkey"......is it easy? By far not. As AK-Jeff stated, there is no easy way out. It is as it is. So I better deal with it. I do have friends outside the Org (been doing that for the last 2 years). They are not a lot, but I can count on them.
As far as the child goes: I will visit her as often as possible and take over to me. If her mother allows. For now I think that my child will at least grow up without the tension that was surrounding our marriage.....Though choice, but a choice nonetheless.
Could I have done things differently? Probably. Do I regrett how things have gone so far. Nope.
I used to take them real seriously and they had almost a realistic importance that I placed on being a member. Then I just moved on. Didn't feel a need to explain myself to my fellow comic club members or their leaders. I just didn't do it anymore - just like with the religion
Good plan, for someone with JW family, who doesn't plan on doing anything in public that can get them disfellowshipped. Those old comic book chaps can't hurt you, if they see you voting, going into a church, reading the wrong sort of books, making the wrong comment on a social networking page, ,,etc, etc. JW family/friends will still be asking what you are doing (loyalty checks), and try explaining why you aren't at the Memorial- of wait, you don't do that- doormats don't explain, they avoid the truth, they hide and they pretend. Yep, sounds like a great plan and one that doesn't require much courage to implement.
I don't think it's fair to just assume it's an issue of courage. You really can't know what a person is thinking when they make that choice. Some of us that can don't feel we need to play by their rules anymore. It's their problem not mine. For others, they can't pull away unless they DA. Why the judgement over how people choose to live their lives? I thought that's what we were pulling away from. Doormats! I hate black and white thinking.
NC
INTEL , Does it feel like you can breathe now ? I know once I made my decision and just did it ....it was such a relief . It is good you have some friends already in place to support you through this situation . I have been out for six yrs and have slowly come back into contact with other local faded JWs and df'd ones from my passed . It is nice now to be able to reminese with ones that know my history . You miss that after family and friends start jumping ship .
No matter how hard the transition is .....it is so worth it ......freedom is priceless .
Moshe's 2-step plan for leaving the JWs - works every time.
For what it's worth, I'd suggest not trying to explain why you left to every person that calls. It can be emotionally draining to have friend after friend spout propaganda at you before finally turning their back and walking away.
If there was one elder they need two as you know. If you don't deny it you will be on their radar. They may ask for a letter to confirm it. I imagine they may approach you to confirm that your feelings are valid and not an emotional outburst or symptom of depression. In the end you're out of there. Welcome. Make new friends, go to school and take time to give "worldly" people a chance.
All I can add is - it will never be easier than it is now. You can't jump half-way across the Grand Canyon--it is all or nothing. I guarantee that it does et better.
