flower; glad my comments help. You ask;
"...is it possible for Athiests and Believers to co-exist?"
Yes, but it gets ugly sometimes.
"Is that why there is so often turmoil on this board despite the good it does?"
Yes. Those who are convinced they can present facts to prove what they believe can get into disagreement with people who think the same about a different set of beliefs. Also, scientific methodology and religious beliefs are not easy bedfellows. I know and I believe are two different things, but that doesn't effect the strength of the convictions, does it?
"Being out of the org and free to be friends with or love or marry whomever we choose is so wonderful, but now we still have restrictions."
We? We who? Restrictions? What ones? Okay, laws, gravity, moratlity, but clarify please.
"What if you meet someone but the topic of religion doesnt come up until after you fall in love?"
Then you're not really in love, as you can only really love someone you know, and if you don't know whether someone believes in god, you don't know them.
"Its not possible for an athiest and a believer to marry and have a meaningful relationship..is it?"
It is if the relationship is more important than their beliefs; as an example, My girlfriend can't quite help but believe in god. I can't quite help but not believe in god, and we are so sickeningly in love we have our own time zone. I EVEN GO TO CHURCH AT CHRISTMAS WITH HER, because it's important to her, and, well, making her happy by being bored stiff for two hours is a small price, as she really can't get why it would be such an issue for me to go, and, in a way, she's right (once a year).
"Can athiests and believers even be close friends?"
Yes, if they value their friendship more than their beliefs. I have a dear friend who believes utter nonsense. I love him, and bite my tongue at times when he launches into a stoned conspiracy theory I can prove wrong in five minutes flat, but by doing so would start an arguement.
"How do you all do it here?"
Conditional respect. Respect me, I'll respect you. Not being bothered about winning every discussion. Not having to prove your beliefs all the time and being happy for other to have different beliefs. Being interested in understanding what others believe, rather than making them believe what you believe (although I argue like a propellor on Angel Dust sometimes, still haven't got the Dubby "must be right" thing out my system).
"I've noticed that the athiests seem to be closer with one another than with others."
Yeah, most atheists don't judge the way some religionists do. I like that. We also have a distrust of people who try to win an arguement using subjective validation. That's almost against the rules, like me saying I'm right because my invisable purple bunny rabbit says so.
"I've heard them making mock of God and making jokes about believing in Him. I find that hurtful to me because I believe."
Mmmmm, but, what about a religionist who believes god took a little boy from his family for some divine reason? Or who believes a woman doesn't have the right to decide what to do with her body? Or a religionist who believes they can kill because of what they believe.
I find them offensive. So, I can make jokes about maybe next time the Messiah comes he'll get a cable show, and no one will have to be nailed to a tree, or that Jesus from the cross yelled "Son of god was a METAPHOR you morons!", and they can offend me. It's fair, isn't it?
"So how do you respect others right to say and think what they want while not taking things personally and still being true to yourself?"
By realising that everyone has their own subjective truth, but that there is only one reality. Reality is killing a person is wrong. Reality is stepping in front of a truck kills you. Truth can mean anything. If someone is speaking a truth to them that is upsetting to you, you should let it go unless they try to deny you your truth, in which case, defend your truth if you want. If someone is denying reality, then it's open season on their ass.
"Does each side secretly look down on the other for believing what they do or do they truly respect that difference like they would if someone were just of another religion?"
Difficult question; yes and no. I think anyone can believe what they like as long as they do no harm, and as long as they do not lie about reality; there's only one set of FACTS, and sometimes not even that. If someone says I am stupid or wrong for believing in evolution I will defend my beliefs as best I can. If someone says they believe because they believe, then I am happy for them. Believing because you believe is fine. Kidding yourself there is evidence for a local flood, or that the Earth is 6,000 years old is self-deception; I'll have none of it and wave it in front of any one who has it. Petty? Maybe.
"I am accepting and respectuful of anyone of a different religion or those who chose to be of no religion. I respect their choice."
Good
"But not believing in God at all is strange to me and seems to go beyond what I can accept of people I call close friends, but I feel like its wrong to judge people based on anything...even this."
flower, enlightenment is snapping at your heels. The above sentence shows that you are getting it.
I am pretty damn sure I am right about what I believe in, but unless someone is saying "You silly atheist et. al.", then I'm fine them believing differently.
Occasionally I might see a discussion that has no possibility of closure (like scriptual meanings), and I feel moved to ask them whether the lack of closure doesn't make them wonder about the nature of god. But I think that's an okay question.
Occasionally someone will be so blatantly hypocritical, judging others and showing no fruits of what they claim to be, I'll get sarcastic and cutting. I think that's okay, as if I trip myself up like that, I hope I'll get called on it.
Sometimes religonists will expect everyone to be as them. I have no time for that at all, as I don't expect them to be like me and expect the freedom to be returned.
But out of that, I care not what people believe, and try not to judge them on this basis.
"But how can I help it? Maybe once I learn more about things it will be easier."
It will come in time. Stand before walk, walk before run, run before fly; you have the potential, now you are freed from the Borg, to fly free. You just need to grow feathers I suppose
Good luck to you.
People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...
