When should you Disassociate yourself? (page 3)

JT

Thank for your imput all. That's why this type of forum is excellent to be able to talk to those who were and are associated with they organization

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this is the most important role that the net serves for jw- it allows them to LEARN how to leave the org with at least a certain amount of Dignity

i have spoken with so many former jw who left in the 70's and early 80's who wish they had done it differently-

not that they would have never DA, but they would have known how to do it with the least amount of pain

the biggest mistakes that many have made is trying to get members of thier family or former hall to UNDERSTAND why they are leaving

i know of bros who Xeroxed tons of articles from old wt to show flip flop and mailed it to all in thier hall with the hopes that it would help

as soon as it got to the first persons house they called the elders and the elders contacted all bookstudy conductors and they in turn all in their bookstudy to be on the lookout for an APOSTSTE package

they were shutdown cold -

BUT TOday JW ARE learning the right way and time to leave so that things are done on thier terms and not the BOYS IN BROOKLYN

yes the NET is great

just my 2

JT

thinkers wife

JT,
Can't wait for my husband to read your last post. Very enlightening to the discussion we had about telling my parents my real reasons for leaving a few days ago.
I don't feel I owe anyone an explanation. Especially those who don't really want to know.
TW

Pathofthorns

Like you say JT, there is a desire to want people to UNDERSTAND why you have felt to "disappear". At some point, and its been only recently, I've come to realize that people will not understand until they are ready to and one simply must be patient.

I've come to the realization, that any decisions that I have made are personal ones and that outside of one's mate and children, its probably best to leave people to figure things out in their own time.

I said too much innitially, and I regret that. These days I am almost completely silent. I don't own anyone an explaination as I am at peace with myself and my decisions. I also don't care to influence anyone either, for we all must be comfortable with our own decisions.

People are tired and worn out, and any thinking person can see the crisis the organization faces. If they are half an honest person and took their Bible study seriously it is painfully obvious that this is not the "refreshment" Christ offered and the identifying mark of love that we talk about so much is lacking.

Anyone who is sincere and honest and is a person you once called a friend will find the answers in time. One must simply be patient and wait for them.

Path

trevor

HELLO J T & Paththorns,

Just agreeing with your comments on keeping a low profile and not trying to get others to understand. When my wife and I left 15 years ago we never said a word. I didn't even bother to return the kingdom hall key.

Neither my parents or hers never asked why and still have not. My brother who has asked, cannot comprehend that it is not the truth, even though he says he does not believe most of what they print - and he is an Elder?

It is pointless to try to explain to friends and relatives. It is best to let them know that you are willing to talk with them, when they are ready. They are trained to close their mind to anything that might weaken the wall they have built around their minds. If and when they are ready, they will ask. There is certain dignity and peace in remaning silent until asked.

All the Best

trevor

DriveslikeJehu

Well, I don't really know when to disassociate oneself from the org, but a friend of mine(of 13 years) did it last January when she found a guy she liked at school. She had just aux. pioneered the month before, but she was sure it was the thing she wanted to do, so she sent her letter in.
Before the announcement was even made at the kh, she had moved in with the guy and his family, and her own family didn't shun her at all. Her dad(an elder on the Regional Building Committee) even bought her a car while she was gone. Some of her friends from the hall tried to talk to her at school, since they saw her every day. I never saw her(I had already graduated from high school), but I told the others to pass along a message if they managed to talk to her.
However, she's making steps to come back now. She was at the assembly last month, and brought her boyfriend too. I was an attendant, and I saw her from far off in the hallway. Even though we both knew we couldn't necessarily talk to each other(she wasn't reassociated yet), I still gave her a big smile and wave, and she smiled back. I wanted her to know that I missed her.

Okay, my boring story is over. You can wake up now.

That's what being part of Jehovah's organization is about. It's not just the WTB&TS, but the entire association of brothers and sisters worldwide. All the WTB&TS does is print literature, provide finances for traveling overseers, and provide disaster relief for those in need. You can bet they'll be in El Salvador and Guatemala soon.

larc

Driveslike Jehu,

I saw on another post that your're in college. What's your major and where are you going to school? (I can't write on the singles thread. My wife would kill me. On a day to day basis, I'm more concerned about her wrath than God's.)

mommy

Larc,
You bet your butt Zazu would get you! See she doesn't have to be everywhere all the time, because the rest of us watch out for you too:)
mommy

JT

At some point, and its been only recently, I've come to realize that people will not understand until they are ready to and one simply must be patient.

I've come to the realization, that any decisions that I have made are personal ones and that outside of one's mate and children, its probably best to leave people to figure things out in their own time.

I said too much innitially, and I regret that. These days I am almost completely silent. I don't own anyone an explaination as I am at peace with myself and my decisions.
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you have hit the nail on the head - what you have stated is the Key to leaving wt- it maybe hard , but it is the key- esp if one still has family inside

in my exp i have never seen anyone who goes out with guns blazing help get anyone out, while on the other hand those who maintain their ablity to still speak to family and folks at the hall have

many times i find that former jw either forget or fail to realize what it was like to be a jw- case in poiny

if we told someone we met at the door that thier is no hell, christmas, your faith is wrong and we got the truth- you will die unless you jion us-- how many folks would have become jw

but instead we built their trust to the point where they woule accept anything we said even without biblical proof- when jw start out we can take folks to the bible to prove many points - yet by the time they are baptized they are willing to accept something merely because the WT publications said it-- they have gone from Jah says it to the Society says it and they have no problem with it

so in order to get folks out we have to do exactly the same thing in REVERSE-- if you read of how folks got thie family out it was always with honey and rarely with vinegar

smile thanks for those excellent personal thoughts and suggestions

just my 2

JT

Trevor stated:

It is pointless to try to explain to friends and relatives. It is best to let them know that you are willing to talk with them, when they are ready. They are trained to close their mind to anything that might weaken the wall they have built around their minds. If and when they are ready, they will ask. There is certain dignity and peace in remaning silent until asked.

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this i find is becoming more and more of the view of persons who leave
for it is able to do more in the long run than shutting them down

as i often tell folks jw are like ATM Machines if you put in the wrong pin number 3 times they will shut down- well due to the fact that jw are "Program" they too will shut completly down it the very hint of anyting "Anti-WT"

jw are trained from the day they start to study to be on the lookout for anyone that shows a sign of questioning the Boys in Writing

and most jw "Shutdown.exe" file is up and running at all times
smile

you point is well taken, esp for those who maybe lurking here or just looking to find the best way to handle thier new found knowledge

thanks

JT

. All the WTB&TS does is print literature, provide finances for traveling overseers, and provide disaster relief for those in need.

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i can't agee with you on the statement above , due to the fact that the WT does much more- in fact they make many of the rules that jw live and die by

what i would suggest that you do is take a little time to do some outside research as well as inside an you will find that the wt does more than just print books

just my 2

JT

When should you Disassociate yourself?

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