Yeah, you don't have to defend yourself to anyone! I'm glad you're not going to take that. Its disheartening to find people who claim to follow and sometimes even 'speak' for Christ, show a spirit so different than His.
You can go to Him though (and you already know this). You can BE His church, along with the others who follow Him, and make up His Body. It does not have to be a particular 'church' or 'group'.
I understand wanting to hear a sermon, perhaps, and to also be encouraged by others who love Him.
Just don't let anyone make you feel bad, or make you doubt your faith and love for him, or his love for you and us.
Peace,
Tammy