Living A Lie (page 3)

neyank,
Changing the subject isn't always a bad thing, it gives MoodyBlue a chance to ponder all the good advice she has been given here.
I'd forgotten about "Go Now". That is a good song. I've only seen the Moody Blues once, but it's on my list of "all time favourite concerts". It was a free show with Jefferson Airplane at Griffith Park (Burbank, CA). They had just released "Days of Future Past" and performed it as a single composition. Although they weren't accompanied by an orchestra they used a keyboard that looked like a Hammond B3, which they called a Mellotron, to do the orchestrated stuff. It was a first for me (the mellotron) and it was cooooool.

thinkers wife

Too Cool!!!! I love both those groups Amicus.
TW

MoodyBlue

Wow... thank you all for your kind and insightful advice. Lots to think about and ponder. I will stay on the DB and keep u all posted. Never know, I might even have something of insight to give someone else:)

LOL, I don't know much by the Moody Blues- they were a little before my time(I'm only 22) It was actually a good online friend who posts here that helped me pick out this name. It describes me to a "T."

amicus

MoodyBlue,
You're only 22? Dump this guy and go back to school!

(Sorry, I didn't mean it, just trying for a little comic relief.)

amicus

TW,
I've never been a big fan of Jeff. Airplane, but I can listen to "Today" and "Comin' Back to Me" over and over and over.....(from Surrealistic Pillow or better yet from Napster)

thinkers wife

Moody Blue,
You've got your whole life ahead of you!! Use it to the full and wisely.
Amicus,
I just pick and choose too. Music is one of the great loves of my life. We have everything from blues to classical to rock. There is something good in all of it.
TW

Carmel

It just hit me Ms. Blue, I've a 22year old daughter that is at university carring 21 credits, works 20 hours a week in an investment brokerage and is on the Dean's List. I can't imagine her being in your situation, the pain it would give me to see her "unevenly yoked" to a control group like the JW's. I certainly empathasize with you and hope you find a way of climbing out of the cave. You have so much to offer the world and so much to partake of!

carmel wishing mistyblue all the best

MoodyBlue

I was in my third year of university when I met "Mr. Blue." Thing was, I just didn't want to be there. I was smart enough, and didn't have to work hard for good grades, but I had no desire and no clue what I wanted to do. I was also diagnosed with severe depression, and was battling a disease I knew nothing about. Mr. Blue was my light at the end of the tunnel. Here he was, the man of my dreams, who had paradise to offer me as well! It was just the excuse I was looking for to quit school.

Two years later, things aren't so simple, and paradise seems pretty far fetched. My fear of it being too good to be true seems to have been based on common sense. BUT, man, do I want it to be true. Though I don't know exactly WHAT I'd do if I lived forever, or if I'd even LIKE it... who wouldn't want perfection in paradise??

So, yes, I know I'm still a baby, and have lots of life yet to live. But that doesn't change where I am now... and it just makes it scarier wondering where I'll be in 5 years...

ZazuWitts

Dear MoodyBlue,

I do not view you as a "baby" you are in my opinion a thinking young woman who needs to make some life choices.

It is not at all unusual that while in university you didn't have a "clue" as to what you would like to do - a great many start and even graduate university an still don't have a "clue" as to what they truly want to do with the rest of their lives. So, maybe not right now, but at some future time you might continue your formal educational path leading to a degree. My youngest daughter changed majors three times before graduating - and, now, she owns a health food store/organic grocery business; something she could have done without a degree. But, she has often said to me that she is glad she stuck it out, for she learned of things that she probably wouldn't have sought out on her own. And, I listen to her with a mommy's pride, discussing subjects with me and others that she was initially exposed to during her education.

Your situation got somewhat more involved when you experienced severe depression, and some "disease" that couldn't have helped your thinking all the way around.

It is easy to see why you viewed meeting MR.MOODYBLUE, and his 'paradise' message as some sort of answer to your then state of mind. But, you are a thinking woman and are now confused and questioning with no 'listening ears' from your mate. I just know that you acknowledge his goodness as a human, you don't want to hurt him - none of us can tell you what to do - it's too much responsibility and the consequences are too great. But, we can be here to 'listen' and offer words of encouragement until your own 'inner-voice' guides you on the path that would best serve you and yours. Not too much gets resolved in a day or two, a month or two, etc. I have been out of the Watchtower organization for years, and am in my late 50's, and am still dealing with issues and feelings. I am very content with my life and belief system, but I'm grateful to have found this site, as I know are others...it 'eases' the ever-twisting road of life.

Remember, we are here to listen at any time - I have faith that you will work through your turmoil and make the right decisions for yourself...slooowly, and one step at a time.

Living A Lie

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