"Theocratic Warfare" and the Annual Report

by Billy the Ex-Bethelite 141 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  factfinder

  JWGoneBad-

  I did have honorable intentions as a witness-I really believed it was the truth! That I was indeed serving Jehovah. But I did not see myself as being more zealous than most. I did usually put in above average hours in fs, and did sign up to AP alot-but I never become a regular pioneer nor did I ever want to be an elder or even a MS although the elder studying with me kept trying to push me to.

  I had friends in the cong over the years, but not in the last few years I was a witness and at that point my zeal was gone and I was a low hour publisher. But I did not report more hours than I spent in fs. The cong had so many families and cliques- they looked at me as an outsider and I don't think I could have done much to change that.

  I had no priveledges at that point either, no longer being asked to even pray at the KH or be w reader. I gave up giving talks on the school.

  So I was not under pressure to put in more hours , unless I'm forgetting. But I did not fake my time slips.

  But you are right about being a low hour publisher- however, you could fix that by actually going out in fs more!
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  factfinder

  hotspur-

  The cong secretary you had was the opposite of the one who was studying with me -he was 100% by the rules! He even doubted some of my reports! On Mondays & wednesdays I went out with the same group in fs-they picked me up at my house. I had a territory card and we did 1 hour of door to door and 1 hour of rvs. Then we went to lunch! But he only saw me out on weekends. He felt we were wrong for not meeting at the kh for service but going out on our own. (Some pioneers did that too.) ( We had a good reason for not meeting with the group!)

  I once heard an elder tell me his boss was an a-hole (he used the real word) while we were going door to door. I could not believe it! Here he is, an elder, and we are out in Jehovah's service- and he's using foul language. (I did not use those words back then!) I complained to him about it. He said "Well, he is". What a joke! The elder that was studying with me said sh-t in front of me-then he warned me never to say it!

  That is horrible that secretary cursed ! Such hypocrites! What a jerk! They are so faithful and holy!!!!

  I don't recall being hounded much by elders to put in more time. And I was alone in the cong- no family there. I guess it was because the so called elders in the cong couldn't care less about me. I guess I can't relate to being hounded to go out more in fs .

  I think the wts should discontinue asking pubs to count their hours and rvs. They have not published in the w or yb how many rvs are made each year in decades! I know they need to know how much literature to print and ship to the congs and they need to know how many pubs there are so I would change it so you report how many mags and books, booklets, brochures you actually placed each month and thats it. And they should not judge you on that.
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  factfinder

  punkofnice- I did not realize there were CO's that browbeat the elders!!!
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  factfinder

  Aussie OZ-

  I really wish I had not picked that name ! I wanted to use the Norwegian word "Fremmed" (stranger) but I could not register with it. I have no creativity so ended up with factfinder. Oh well!

  Yes, congs are different as are elders. I was in such a frigid cong with fake elders who did not care about me and were not serious about a number of matters. There must be elders who are more concientious in certain congs and I suppose they are the ones who hound people to go out in fs more.

  I guess I should not let what people post affect me, but it does. Sometimes there is so much negativity against the wts , for no reason, that I feel impelled to stand up for the wts! Yet, I do know from personal experience and from things I have discovered that the gb are not directed by God's spirit and the wts is not God's organization. But I feel like there is a tug of war going on within me!
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  factfinder

  sizemilk-

  I was like the brothers you describe-and I also gravitated toward such ones while my brother gravitated towards the elders and pioneers. I was drawn to the kind, sincere ones.

  I remember experiences at assemblies as sounding "sensationalized" and they actually did that with your experience. Did it make you feel uncomfortable that a somewhat different impression was given then what your experience really was?

  I don't consider myself as an "apostate' but I no longer consider myself to be a witness either. I'm "inactive'. I don't see myself going back.

  Thanks for the encouragement!
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  life is to short

  factfinder

  I hope you are not hurt by what everyone said but for those of us that tried to be super honest it was hard because in all the halls I was in including Bethel there were ones who lied and twisted things, as a women I am sure I saw only part of it, nothing surpries me anymore. At first I tried to think it was Satan testing the faithful ones but it was in every hall I was in. It had to be the religion not Satan.

  It truly hurt to realize the "truth" that the whole religion was a huge lie but that is what I have come to realize. I truly wish it had not turned out that way as I really wanted serve Jehovah.

  LITS
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  factfinder

  Broken Promises-I felt like you did-that Jehovah was watchting what we did.

  Heaven-I usually began to count my time from the first door I spoke at. But...if I did not get to talk to anyone that day I'd count my time from when we got to the territory.

  When we had rural territory that would take a while to get to we would do not at homes or a rv first-so we could start our time. Then, yes, I did count the car ride to the territory. When I was Aux pioneering sometimes I'd join the reg pios in street work at 8 am to get in an hour of fs before meeting at the hall for the fs meeting. I'd take off about 15 minutes for the fs meeting, then count the rest of the time, including the time spent driving to rvs. I took time off for any breaks we took. When we were done for the day I'd total my time for that day.
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  Farkel

  Billythe ex,

  Your story is like mine and those of millions of other stories of people like us.

  I'll give the conclusion before I say anything more: a religion that is based upon lies and faked bullshit forces otherwise decent people to lie and fake bullshit.

  My life story as a dub is very similar. I pioneered through High School. One month after trying so hard to meet the quota of the Pharisees who owned my soul, I put in an honest 70 hours pounding on doors of which 69.6 of those hours were a total waste of my time and my gas, my life, my dry cleaning expenses for my cheap suits and those whom I tried to indoctrinate. My pioneer quota was 100 hours. My PO cornered me and "counseled" me for that. The next month, I was able to cobble about 65 hours of "honest" pounding on doors which though legal for the Pharasees was really "fake" preaching, like standing on a street corner all starched up and holding up WT crap as if that was really "preaching.". I preferred doing Street Work(tm) at 4:00 am when no one but me was around. But it was "legal" time-reporting! I Reported 110 hours, and guess what? "Jehovah" didn't smite me! (I needed 1200 hours for the year and as long as I made that, Jehovah would be proud of me and my "fine" efforts.)

  There is no shame and should be no guilt with your story: when we lie to the liars who lied to us, we're just evening the score. The only difference is: they fucked up our lives. And nothing we could do or could not do, could ever fuck of their lives.

  Until now. I'm doing fine at least from the aspect of being freed from Watchtower tyranny, and I hope you are doing fine, too. But the liars who lied to us are suffering.

  History has shown us that good will ALWAYS end up defeating evil. All we did was re-claim the lives we should have had in the first place, and those who stole our lives and our youth will eventually be defeated.

  THEY are the bad guys, not us. We never stole lives and families. We just had to report hours of servitude to those who did and then be graded on it.

  Farkel
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  factfinder

  shadeofgrey-

  Yes, I do notice that most witnesses do not display real love. I agree with you 100%-good works should come from the heart, not because a book or magazine or speaker TELLS you to do it. It is because you WANT to do it. Yes, I agree!

  outsmartthesystem-

  thank you! I am sorry you were treated so unfairly and harshly if you got in 9 hours (real ones!) instead of ten. The brother you speak of faked his hours and was a total fraud, yet you were really putting in 9 hours a month in real fs and were treated so poorly. That is reddiculous1 An over 1 hour? yes, they cared more about a rediculous 10 hour quota then the quality of preaching you did. That is very unfair.

  Would I report $20.00 I find on the street as income on my tax form? No! I agree with you-that does not make you a bad person. Some rules are far too rigid!
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  sizemik

  I remember experiences at assemblies as sounding "sensationalized" and they actually did that with your experience. Did it make you feel uncomfortable that a somewhat different impression was given then what your experience really was? . . . factfinder

  Actually no. You see . . . being encouraging and stimulating the brothers was a "righteous" motive for all involved. So nobody felt as if it was sensationalised at the time. It's interesting that you recall experiences sounding "sensationalised" yourself . . . it reveals how utterly pervasive the practice was. It would likely be the case that most experiences were sensationalised. Many experiences in the magazines are totally sensationalised for the same reason . . . to "encourage the brothers" and "further kingdom interests." Some, I suspect, were even total fabrications.

  We didn't deliberately lie and deceive like we were apathetic to honesty . . . it was a result of the whole disingenuous culture that absorbed us . . . you can't be absorbed by an environment like that without becoming like it. It's a culture that can only be seen fully for what it is in hindsight.

  If you genuinely managed it . . . well done. Perhaps you weren't as fully "absorbed" as some. But I would suggest that this would have added to your feelings of being on the "outside". Your shock and surprise a the decietful nature of this organisation displays a certain naivety however. The Society itself has given lying a coat of white paint in their literature with the "theocratic warfare" strategy . . . did you agree with that? . . . or did you protest and say no! . . . lying is lying! If you were OK with "theocratic warfare" then . . . how do you feel about it now?

  You need to get your head around why things like this happened . . . it wasn't because everybody here is naturally dishonest. They were conditioned to be dishonest. Once you've done that . . . it wouldn't hurt to apologise to these people for your misguided and self-righteous rant.