by butalbee 69 Replies latest social relationships
Does looks really matter in love? Would you go out with someone who was not physically attractive if he/she had a big heart on the inside, a great personality, lot's of things in common with, etc...I guess I'm asking what's more important to you the person on the exterior or who he/she really is underneath?
Lara
Ive always been drawn to unusual women myself.
Pamela Anderson boobs, statuesque blonde models, etc, have never been my interest.
I find women who are a bit out of the mould attractive. Doesnt matter if theyre fat,have a big nose,a small nose,small boobs,big feet,rounded shoulders. All imaterial.
I just look for one thing...
How does it FEEL.
If it feels good, thats it.
Do I like them? Is there a vibration there that is exciting?
Is she interesting?
I find I become attracted, often, to women I initially found interesting personalities.
All in all...looks dont count with me. As long as we are within reasonable parameters. Im just looking for the vibration.
When the vibration is there, "ugly" can become "beautiful".
An old mans opinion...
Looks matter....but are more important at different times in your life.
Generally...if you are young ..you are drawn to beautiful faces. Its natural enough but as you get older and perhaps are looking for a life partner ....you look for qualities etc. Looks although significant are not the big deal. You will settle for less in the way of looks. Its an interesting subject...that involves more than you might first imagine. For example do the ladies like men with soft features like Di Caprio or the apparent testosterone loaded types like Russell Crowe? What constitues 'good looks' is different to different people.
ISP
funny you brought this up tonight :). i had a related discussion about this earlier today.
for a few years i have had plans on getting cosmetic surgery done. from losing and gaining crazy amounts of weight too often and too fast, my tummy pretty messy looking. when i lose weight the skin doesn't tighten up as much any more, therefor leaving a not so nice looking tummy . and to be honest, that's definately a big reason why i totally quit working out and doing anything. anyhow, there's only one way to correct this once i decide to get in shape again, and that would be an abdominoplasty . my reasons are absolutly only for looks. so to me, looks ARE important, but really only for one side of my relationships...how *i* look and what my bf/gf thinks of me.
i've definately been attracted to people that other's would consider unattractive or someone that i didn't immediately think was my 'type', but i mean it all depends on a lot of things. i find that i am never one to rely on first impression...ever. you know how you can think someone is not very physically attractive at all, but they grow on you once you find out how neat and interesting they are? that happens to me a lot, and that person could end up being the sexiest person i've ever met, just by getting to know them better.
then again, i remember this one girl from highschool. oh god, i was absolutly in love with her. she was so beautiful and perfect. anyhow, i met her at a party one night and we started hanging out, within a month i despised her . she had an awful personality and she was just totally bitchy, this made her completely ugly and unatractive to me in every way.
so it really does depends on many things.
i think appearance is just the initial thing you see in a person, so it is important. but the ultimate connection/love between two people is personality and all that good stuff on the inside...the stuff that really determines someone's beauty.
you're happy cause you smile but how much can you fake...
this reminded me of another thread http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=15659&site=3#194496
i think both Jan and Abaddon have made some very good points ...
you might also be interested in DazedAndConfused's thoughts
you're happy cause you smile but how much can you fake...
Bitter you sound like an example from a young people ask article LOL
Just kidding...your experience reminds me of the scripture about the
pig with a golden earring.you're absolutely right about people growing
on you and they become more attractive as their personality shines
through.I've usually found that less attractive people have more attractive personalities.However the initial draw IS looks because that's the first thing you see.Depending on how shallow or deep we are dictates the rest............
Beauty may only be skin deep but ugly goes to the bone!
Just curious butalbee....is that your true pic in your profile? If it is, I would say that looks may not matter..........but if it is not your pic...then why did you pick it?
Interesting question! Deep. I don't think there is a simple answer to this.
As many on this board already know, Thinker and I met over the internet. We knew each other a short ten days before we met and we haven't been apart since. We fell in love with each others souls. We agreed that we didn't want to exchange pics.
I was a little more concerned with looks than Thinker. I knew beyond any doubt that I already loved him. But after living with an ex husband for almost seventeen years who did nothing for me in the looks dept. I was a little nervous.
Interestingly enough, our love was true, after an initial few minutes of adjustment, when we saw each other, I became totally crazy about all of Thinker. He just rings my bell. Every day we are together, I fall more deeply in love with him. To me he is the most beautiful man I have ever seen and he feels the same about me.
I don't know if this helps answer the question or not. But I believe strongly that if you truly fall in love with a person, you fall in love with all of them.
TW
I am probably most attracted to attitude. Looks help alot but he could be drop dead yummy looking but if he talked like Peewee-Herman,
sorry but no thanks. No offense Peewee.
Example; Look at Charles Bronson. Just on looks alone. He is NOT good looking. BUT very attractive. And Tommy Lee Jones?, I wouldn't kick him outa bed.
plm
