Does Looks Really Matter? (page 2)

gumby

A lot of butt-ugly men have beautiful wifes so.....apparently not. Looks play a part at first, but it's the personality that matters in the end.

expatbrit

A lot of butt-ugly men have beautiful wifes

They frequently also have enormous bank accounts.

Expatbrit

ashitaka

I consider myself a troll compared to my wife, but she loves me for some reason.

Had I been attracted to 'ugly' girls before. Absolutly. VERY ugly girls, in fact, but they always had those quirky, strong personalities that I was attracted to.

When I met my wife I wasn't attracted to her, yet she was to me. In her own words "you didn't even look at me."

But, soon I came under her spell. It certainly wasn't her looks, because she's beautiful enough to scare any ugly guy off. (Us ugly folk get scared by beauty...we somehow think we don't deserve it.)

She had something passioante and heady about her. I always felt a bit faint around her. Imagine the vision of a perfect female. She's domestic, opinionated, loving, warm, knowledgeable, cultured, strong as a bull, and as screwed up as me. In my eyes, she's the only real woman who has ever lived.

Yet, I think it has nothing to do with looks. Sex is always a lot nicer with someones who makes you go HMMMM, but I would make love to her like an animal no matter how she looked.

Seeker

It's far more important to me what is on the inside than the outside of a woman. In fact, I've met very few traditionally beautiful women who had personalities I admired. Society treats people differently based on looks, and it spoils beautiful women to such an extent that it's the hard not to give in to this.

A less traditionally beautiful women cannot depend on her looks, and thus gravitates toward nice behavior almost subconsciously.

Yes, I know, those are gross generalizations, and I've met quite a few exceptions to those rules, in both cases, so don't bother providing anecdotal evidence about this genuinely nice beautiful woman or this horrible ugly woman -- I know.

More to the point of the question, I prefer the inner beauty because after you have been with a person for a while, you stop noticing their looks for the most part. You don't see "a beautiful woman," you see "my partner." Meanwhile, their inner beauty shines through day after day.

Having said that, I have been conditioned by society enough to be affected by physical beauty, sad to say, so I often succumb to the charms of outer beauty before noticing their inner qualities. Not proud of it, but I admit it. To my credit, inner beauty always wins the day eventually. But I wish it didn't have to take time. Being online helps, as I get to know the inner person first.

One last confession, and one I'm not at all proud about, nor do I have any idea where it comes from: I am not attracted to women who are more than a little overweight. A little? OK. More than that? Nope. Shallow? Absolutely. Wrong? Yes. Built-in to me? Sure is. Why? I have no clue, but it's very deeply built in and seems to have always been there since childhood. It could be, I'm guessing, that I come from an extended family where no one is overweight, so perhaps as a child all I ever saw as models of body types were either slender or, at most, middle-aged slightly overweight. Whatever the cause of it, I find it hard to be physically attracted to such a woman, no matter how much I admire their inner beauty. As I said, I'm not proud of it, but there it is.

Xena

I think most people are INITIALLY drawn by looks...but personality wins out in the long run. I have met men and women who initially seemed very handsome/beautiful till I got to know them...I then found their personality to be cold, arrogant and rude and at that point their outward appearance became less than attractive to me. Conversely I have met men and women whom at first glance I did not find attractive, but after getting to know them they become very attractive to me...a warm funny friendly personality can light a person up from the inside out!

Looks will fade but personality lasts forever!

Just my thoughts

2SYN

It's kinda weird for me, because it almost feels to me as if someone's beauty warps my perception of them. Maybe my brain has a 'beauty' filter installed in it or something...it sometimes has a rather adverse effect on my personality, because I go absolutely crazy around really good looking woman, argh, it's actually embarrassing to think about some of the things I've gotten up to, and I usually land up being an absolute love-puppy type. Yuck. I'm working on it...the best way to get a hot chiq (for you guys who are reading this) is to completely gloss over the fact that she is good looking. Insult her a little bit (in a friendly, off-hand matter, and also not immediately when you meet her, but during the next few weeks of your relationship). Needle her, show her that her beauty isn't an overriding factor. Most woman tend to appreciate this, as a lot of women have huge hang-ups about how they look, and beautiful woman especially are so used to getting drooled over that when a guy comes along who looks like he doesn't give a hoot about how they look, they are quite intrigued, as most men wouldn't dare insult them or even rip them off in the tiniest way...it's a novelty for them. And I doubt that I have to stress how cool it is for a guy to be a beautiful woman's NOVELTY. :)

The earlier in the forenoon you take the sun bath, the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing. - The Golden Age

Beans

Bee:
Looks doesn`t matter with me as long as she has big cans I`m in!

Beans

mommy

Bultabee,
I have had 2 relationships that after it was over I finally "saw" them, and thought, Wow they are really unattractive! Is that rude to admit? lol In the beginning of the relationship I was drawn to their personality or something else about them, can't really put my finger on it. "Love is blind" so they say

As Seeker, I am going to admit just a bit about myself as well. For a few years I would never even look at great looking guys, I never felt like I had a chance. Then I became comfortable in my own body, and mind, and felt confident with myself. After I shed my low self esteem, it appeared that I attracted many men. My looks did not change drastically, my attitude did. It could be that some men were attracted to me before and I never paid attention to it, I don't know. I really feel how a person carries themselves is important, and how they react to situations.

I guess this post can be put in the "I am thinking aloud again" category. lol
wendy

When I leave, you will know I have been here

hungry4life

I am primarily attracted to personality. I have been attracted to men that were as much as 20 years older than me (although never actually dated anyone that much older) . I have dated very thin men and also a very overweight man and it was personality that made it all worth it. Although Mommy hit the nail on the head when she said that once it was over I did sometimes say "what was I thinking?" but that was only after the attraction to the personality had worn off.
I think part of the reason that I wound up in those relationships is that I wasn't attracted to these men at first so we developed an honest friendship and things grew from there. I have dated handsome men too. Sometimes without any sparks, I think the number one
most important thing to me is CHEMISTRY! I have not had that with anyone in sooo long. Sometimes I worry that I will never feel it again. I don't mean the excitement of initial attraction but true chemistry is a beautiful thing. I think once you have had it, it is difficult to accept life without it. I know the right pheremones are out there somewhere and when I find them regarless of looks I will be a happy woman.

safe4kids

Oh well said, hungry!

I think chemistry is important, too. But imo it isn't one aspect of a person; it's the package. I've been attracted to handsome men as well as, shall we say, unconventionally handsome men. Eventually, tho, physical attraction alone is bound to wear off and then where are you?? If you don't have interests in common, if there isn't a meeting of the minds and emotions, then I don't think the relationship will last nor will it offer fulfillment.

Dana-relationship expert....NOT!!!

Does Looks Really Matter?

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