Does Looks Really Matter? (page 3)

Sky

I have never been a big believer in "looks" being important.
It's nice if you get lucky and fall in love with someone eho is attractive, but if you are in love, I dont believe you will find the other person ANYTHING but beautiful.
If a person interests me, I really dont care about their Height, weight, muscles, pearl white teeth etc.
It is their intelligence, their heart, their mind,and their passion that attracts me.
Kisses!
Sky

I've crossed the last line
from where I can't return
where every step I took in faith
betrayed me
and led me from my home

and sweet
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

waiting

I used to be a firm believer that there was intrinsinctly something wrong with quite handsome people - most likely, incredible conceit. I think most of the time, this holds true (there are always exceptions, yada yada.)

However, to actually marry a handsome, conceited person - at least for my first time around - is the PITS! Of course, if the asshole had commonsense, enough love to move him to take care of his 3 kids, decency, etc., - it probably would have outweighed his conceit. But he didn't and it didn't.

My second husband of 20 years is really quite good looking in a Harley bikerider - Steinbeck sort of way. He does encompass all the qualities that my first lacked.

Perhaps looks don't weigh in nearly as heavy as one's own perception of one's own looks. Laughter and true affection are o-so-more-important.

There is great truth in the old saying "All cats look gray in the dark."

waiting

JanH

Does looks really matter in love? Would you go out with someone who was not physically attractive if he/she had a big heart on the inside, a great personality, lot's of things in common with, etc...I guess I'm asking what's more important to you the person on the exterior or who he/she really is underneath?

Hmm. I would be very unlikely to be romantically involved with someone if I was not physically attracted to her first. So, yes, looks matter. Of course, there are many more ways to be physically attractive than having "the model look". And a great, charming personality enhances the looks manyfold (and conversely, stupidity or a bitchy personality on a pretty girl detracts from her looks).

For a lasting relationship, chemistry and personality is by far the most important. A lover has to be a good friend most of all.

- Jan
--
- "How do you write women so well?" - "I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability." (Jack Nicholson in "As Good as it Gets")

butalbee

DazedAndConfused--Are you telling me in a polite way that I look butt ugly in that pic??

butalbee

Don't want to sound shallow, but looks do matter to me, a guy might have a great personality, be kind, warm, and gentle, but if I'm gonna wake up next to him, I'm gonna like what I see...Guys are just the same, they want big breasts, nice ass, a pretty face, and any guy who says not is a liar.

Abaddon

Oh, looks do matter, no doubt. I was particulary tortured by a girl I knew - quite smart, funny, fancied the pants off me... but she was 4'6", homely, and shaped like a Weeble (seriously).

I would normally have had a bit of a fling, but... couldn't... and felt guilty, as it was because of how she looked.

I personally don't think that makes me a bad person... well, no badder than I am anyway

People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...

DazedAndConfused

Butalbee, absolutely not. I think that is an absolutely beautiful picture.

Tatiana

What if we were blind? Our judgment of people would depend solely on what kind of person they were. We would have no preconceived notions of beauty. Our perception of who they are would be based on what came out of their mouth. How they treated us and others. Much like here.

I kind of like the fact that you get to know someone here before knowing what they look like. And I believe when we are involved with someone who is very good looking, we tend to give them more leeway in a relationship. We "overlook" certain negative traits because...Damn, they just look soooo good!!!!
How many of us have done this? Let things slide that we knew weren't right, or let someone treat us less than what we deserved, because they were beautiful?

We all are guilty of judging people on their appearance. We can't help it. If you were in a cafe, and a short, balding, nattily dressed, overweight man walked in and sat down beside you, what would you think? Would you think to yourself......I would really like to know his "mind?" Would you think.......I bet he's sooooo sensitive. (replace with short, balding, overweight woman for the guys here-hehe)

Probably not. You wouldn't give him a second glance. But, what if he was here on this board, writing intelligent, thought provoking posts? What if this same man (or woman) stirred you like no one else had? What if he was the most kind, generous, loving, person you could ever meet, and was just perfect for you? You'd never know, because you "looked" at him first.

I guess I'm rambling......but this is something I've been thinking about ever since this friend told me about her marriage and how they met online. I truly think now that it's better to "know" someone before you "see" them. Superficial things like looks don't get in the way of getting to really know someone.

April

If you bury the truth under the ground, it will but grow, and gather to itself such explosive power that the day it bursts through it will blow up everything in its way.--Emile Zola, J'accuse
http://www.network54.com/Forum/171905

teejay

Physical attractiveness *is* important but I find that the nicer the person, the better they look. The opposite is just as true.

Also, as Mango alluded to, one's OWN physical attractiveness is important in building/having self-esteem.

thinkers wife

Great post Tatiana,
Couldn't have said it better myself!!
TW

Does Looks Really Matter?

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