twisty
i sent you a pm
New Member
by Twisty 81 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
Twisty
Thank you for the advice.
Although in good conscience i cant resort to an ambigous statement or an untruth.
Would the aforementioned statement in itself lead to some sort of disciplinary hearing?
Im not willing to have any shepherding call, and any elder trying to confront me at my home wont be crossing the threshhold.
We need time, the idea is for us to do an independant study of the scriptures primarily the New Testament and also to run a parallel investigation on Society Doctrines.
This being said i have only received 1 phonecall and 1 email since fading after our recent DC.
It was along the lines of "Are you ok(health wise), let us know if you need us?"
So i will make an effort to avoid any conversation that put me in a corner, but if i get into that corner i will not feel shame in telling the basic truth.
Which is that we are taking a break from Organisation activities while studying the bible.
This would probably raise alot of red flags and attempts at some kind of intervention, but i dont think anything can be done if im not willing to cooperate?
Im still pretty clueless, have only been in the back room once awhile ago its quite a funny story actually.
Twisty
-
Found Sheep
you seem to be on the right path keep reading And they won't call or care much..... unless you put up those red flags
-
designs
Welcome. I like the thoughtfulness you are putting into this search and that you and your spouse are staying close, all the best.
-
Black Sheep
Although in good conscience i cant resort to an ambigous statement or an untruth.
LOL
Ambigous statements and untruths are the MO of every JW that has the pleasure of talking to me.
They are going to do it to you.
If you are not going to do it to them, you might as well just hand your JC your head on a plate, and buy a 1000 watt Santa light show for your house.
-
Witness My Fury
When I was doing my research into the organisation, the bible, etc and was quizzed by elders on my lack of service etc, I did exactly as you propose doing and just being honest about it. However you do need to select your words CAREFULLY..
I said something along these lines.. (note positive spin)
"I'm currently doing research and trying to reprove to myself that this is the truth and until that process is completed I won't be going in field service."
I was indeed trying to find evidence of truth in my beliefs, I was not looking for an easy out or to pick on minor points. But once 607 bce had been totally debunked then it was game over and I quit. During my research period I went to meetings, but once the blickers came off then FS was impossible and very soon after (1 yr) when meetings are seen with open eyes they too became impossible to endure.
-
LouBelle
Hiya Twisty,
I'm in SA too - well that makes me sound like a visitor but I'm a born and bread East Coast girl - rock on Durbs!
I've read all your posts and I think that your slow fade should actually do it. Sometimes we do want to make the big, bold stand - but you mentioned that your income/finances is tied in with witnesses, so perhaps a slow fade should do it. If anyone questions, you can mention that things are such that you just can't make meetings at the moment BUT that you do read the bible together and are still studing the word vigorously! That is the truth
If you and your wife are ever in Durbs (don't know where in SA you are) and you feel like a chat over some coffee - willing to meet up and do so. My mum and aunt also left the JW's.
Stay well and search on.
Lou
-
Quandry
It has been a very rough time in the last few weeks, with many tears and outbursts of anger.
Yes, most of us know all too well the feelings associated with finding out about the background of Russell and realizing that the emphasis is on the Faithful and Discreet Slave to just about the exclusion of all else.
My husband and I were "in" over thirty years. He was an elder for twenty. It is devastating, but also liberating to delve into things that you have a right to know but that the WTS would like to hide. Most damaging of all is the organization's own history. Yet as a Witness you must not read about it. The WTS has "done al the research for you" and feeds you only what it wants you to know.
So glad you and your wife are together and there for each other. You are young and can start to formulate your own goals for yourselves. How about college? It wasn't encouraged from the WTS but I am here to tell you that knowledge is liberating. I am 59 and will graduate after a few more classes. Even though I don't envision a new career at my age, I have loved everything that I have learned (degree in History) and feel that it has enriched my life. You and your wife could also explore new hobbies, travel, etc.
Please, though, tread carefully if your job is dependent upon your identity as a JW. Your personal business is just that. Don't volunteer too much information. Honesty doesn't mean that you have to tell everything.
"Better to have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned."
-
rebel8
Welcome twisty!
Best wishes on your journey, wherever it leads you.
A lot of us went through a phase you're describing now--researching lots of stuff and having a surprise at every turn.
Here's what happened to me. Some pretty sick stuff has gone on--hard to ignore.
"We are taking a break from the organisation to re-examine the Bible by ourselves."
That means 'on the way out' in jw speak and may very well win you a place on the 'unapproved associate' list or worse. How about "discouraged" or sick?
-
torrent
Welcome Twisty,
I can totally relate to your story, like many here. I was raised in the org and did all the right stuff until a few years ago. CoC was a big motivator for me. I still keep Ray's book by my bedside and refer to it when I get grief from my family that is still in. When I faded, my wife and kids were only too happy to fade with me. You are fortunate to have your wife by your side. Many folks here didn't have that help. You two are on the beginning of an exciting, but scary, journey (if it is anything like I have been through). It is a totally refreshing experience to read the bible without the cloak of the society covering things up.
Like others here, I caution you about being too outspoken about your new freedom. I was just like you and thought I didn't care what anyone in the org or my family thought. I made the mistake of mentioning CoC to my brother and his wife, and just went through a whole summer of grief with my family. In the end, I realized they were happy not knowing. My folks are retired and the only freinds they have are in the org. Even though my dad was asked to step down from being an elder, he and my mom are comfortable with their JW friends.
I wish you two the best.