Thank the Faithful and Discreet slave for providing food at the proper time.
JW FAMOUS CLICHE SAYINGS
by strymeckirules 123 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
-
-
sooner7nc
"Are you going to Regular Auxiliary?" (Lazy person's way of sucking up)
"We're grateful for meat at the proper time." (This always sounded so sexual to me)
Two JW's on the platform giving a demonstration: (A)"Did you hear that Brother Beatshiswife got appointed an Elder?"
(B)"Why yes, it certainly is meat at the proper time."
(A) "Yes it is...by the way are you going to Regular Auxiliary?"
(B) "I certainly am."
"Platform" Can't call it a pulpit or anything else from Babylon...dumbasses.
"Babylon the Great" just call it Babylon for fucksake.
-
Sic Semper Tyrannis
These young sisters are AAA. Available After Armageddon.
Please Keep Moving (A sign carried by a brother in the corridors of the District Convention stadium)
Stand still and see the salvation of Jehovah
"Yes!" (the baptismal "candidates" response to the canned questions)
...and that leaves us with a deficit of...
Have you ever thought of vacation pioneering?
Our children need to be doing more in Jehovah's service during their summer vacations. Brothers, please remember that summer vacations were begun only so that the children may help out in the harvest. What harvest is more important than Jehovah's harvest?
Brothers and sisters, what are your plans for this Saturday's field service arrangements?
May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please! Brothers.... I do not have your attention! The convention program will begin in 15 minutes. Please find your way back to your seats.
Don't you enjoy the fine plants up here by the stage? If you are interested in purchasing one of them, there will be brothers up here after the conclusion of today's convention program to arrange this.
-
life is to short
It is the perfect religion with imperfect people in it. (told to me by a CO)
This one started where I live a couple of years ago by some Bethel speaker and it totally caught on here, it just totally rives me nuts. Brother giving his talk says to the audience please meet me in the Bible at say Matthew 28:19 instead of lets turn in out Bibles to the Scripture at Matthew 28:19.
The huge one for me is do not question Jehovah's organization. In Ezekiel the chariot never asked why but he did exactly what was asked of him and we should all do the same. When Jehovah's modern day organization (his modern day chariot) asks something of us we should just do it no questions asked.
LITS
-
life is to short
You have never heard of anyone having a bad day doing Jehovah's work in field service right!
Let's use our time wisely before this system ends.
We need to start using the pure language.
We have the best educational program in the world.
When we come into the truth we gain family member who are closer to us then our own birth familes.
Do Not Grieve Jehovah's Holy Spirit
We are an international brotherhood with our Spiritual brothers sticking closer to us then our own families.
LITS
-
strymeckirules
"helping others in less fortunate circumstances." = "helping the unlucky"
"assisting those in need"
"giving attention to the needs of the circuit"
"let's approach jehovah's throne in prayer"
"what an honour it is to approach your throne as your clean people"
"through the office of your son christ jesus. amen."
"we'll have you work on your gestures/audiance contact again."
"special week of activity"
-
peridotgreen
They'll be sorry when armageddon comes....cause I'll get their house....mwahhhhhaahahaha
I always hated when people talked like that. How disgusting.
-
Fernando
"The brothers are not perfect" (to those that have been raped, defrauded, slandered or badly harmed by WBTS policy - as an inducement to sweep the matter under the carpet, or to avoid reporting the matter to the Police/authorities)
"It is better to be wrong with the GB/FDS/Society/Clergy than right on your own" (translation: it is better to eat at the table of demons with hypocrites, than at God's table on your own)
-
smiddy
When out in a crowd you can tell who is a JW by their bright beaming faces
-
ScenicViewer
@ Smiddy
When out in a crowd you can tell who is a JW by their bright beaming faces
Another laugh riot here. That's a good one!