Speaking of sobriety I thought I should add my 2 cents. Support the sober talk and activities. She's probably going to come out in a pink cloud after rehab. She needs to bury herslf in meetings and support that as well. If she asks to attend a chip night give it a try. It may look like an addiction within itself, but alot of the SERIOUS babies are at it 24/7. She will probably smoke like a chimney, try your best to put up with it. Keep up the rules with u. If you have rules at your home or just as a friend keep the boundries up and the rules. We addicts just love to bend the rules and screw up relationships. Three times is the charm I hope.
what should I say: Niece going into rehab 3rd time
by WhereWasI 37 Replies latest social family
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serenitynow!
She needs to bury herslf in meetings and support that as well.
That's true. I took my JW mom to an Al-anon meeting so that we could better understand my sister's connection to her group, and what we could do to support her. There was a lady there who was in AA, she said there were times she had to go to 2 meetings in a day, just to stay sober. It's hard for someone not in it to understand that.
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WhereWasI
Band on the run: what, more precisly do you mean by giving only lip service to rehab?
I would like to mention that I have a brother who has been successful in being drug free for about 20 years. As a famly member I stepped in and gave him a new state and city to transform himself, he did have a relapse or two but is very solid now. He has a home and a good job and contributes to society. I feel he reflects a small minority of those who are successful. My father was an alcoholic, sober for 7 years then killed himself. So I am not totally ignorant of the complexities of addiction. Now here it is I'm faced with my niece's addicion and I can't help but feel blank as to what steps to take, I'm a bit numb, that is why I ask for help because I can't think clearly. So thanks for all your help.
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wha happened?
I can understand that feeling. The overload just shuts it all off doesn't it? Get some sleep.
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WhereWasI
thanks wha, I think I will
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trueblue
Where is that scripture I am thinking? They will deliver you up to the supreme courts but not to worry about what to say for the holy spirit will tell you what to say when it is time.
In other words I don't know what to tell you to tell her, but speak to her from the heart and remember that the one that says they are born without sin decieves themselves and Jesus said the one without sin cast the first stone,
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designs
The Addict, the person before rehab, has brain function very different from the brain and body that is detoxed and post rehab. Show love and support.
There is a genetic and a bio-chemical component to addiction like there can be with diabetes. I was an addict for 37 years and have been clean and sober for 12 years now, my daughter has been clean and sober for over 5 years. We had her stay in a rehab for 3 months, it was life threatening and during detox her heart stopped three different times and she had to be revived.
We can have new lives, that's the important thing to remember. I have a new career, my daughter finished college and has a career and is a wonderful mother to our 3 year old grandson.
Let us know how your niece is doing and make plans for when she comes home. Locate the local support groups for her and go to Al-Anon yourself for support and understanding.
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zzaphod
I`m not one for AA personally, but it does suit some people. In my case it really had to be hitting rock bottom, divorce, bankrupcy, time in police cells didn`t stop me. I only managed to pack it in when I was lying in a bed in Coronary care following a heart attack aged 37. All you can do is be supportive, and be there for her, she will sort herself out when the time is right for her, perhaps this spell in rehab will do it.
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transhuman68
Anyone going into rehab for the third time obviously isn't listening to anybody, so anything you say is probably a waste of time, but if there is an in-house 12 step program within the rehab, you could suggest that your niece participate in it.
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irondork
WhereWasI: I need to know how I can be most helpful to her. That is really what I want to do.
Your input will be largely irrelevant. However, it might be helpful not to say anything harsh or hurtful so the mood is not negatively swayed. She's going to have enough battles to fight without you adding to them.
It took me 10 years of trying, in and out of AA and rehab. !0 years of trying and failing before I got 1 year sober. In the process I screwed everybody who ever tried to help me... that is, until the last one. But I didn't screw that person because of anything she said or did, rather, I just finally figured it out for myself.
Such is the nature of the beast. If you are going to be in the business of being there for your neice you have to be prepared to get run over again and again and again. Rest assured SHE FEELS TERRIBLY GUILTY EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS. If she's still willing to try, there's still hope.
I will be celebrating 10 years of uninterrupted sobriety next year. I left a trail of dead friendships in my wake. There's nothing I can do about it except move forward. Yours is a difficult job with no guarantee of success. But there's always a chance.