what should I say: Niece going into rehab 3rd time

by WhereWasI 37 Replies latest social family

  • WhereWasI
    WhereWasI

    Designs: I'll be looking for the "Biker Meth King" story.

    Also, just an update. Niece left yesterday for the detox part. Now my great niece, her daughter will be living with my sister. She's practically a child of the streets at the moment so my sister and I and also my brother and husband, along with the social worker who helped the niece get into this program will be confronting her to use this time without her mother to grow and gain insight. Also we hope to impart rules. Something she will not like. We are prepared to be tough. There might be some counseling too. The social worker gave us a recommendation.

    Here's an odd side point. My niece was engaged to this social worker about 10 years ago. He is a fantastic guy and works with helping homeless people get back on their feet. Another odd side point, my niece has been gay except for this brief engagement period to this guy. More odd points: she is most likely adhd and who knows what else. When niece was involved with a partner, the partner legally adopted great niece and was emotionally brutal.

    We'll just have to wait this one out.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    thanks designs, I was sleeping on the job

  • betterdaze
    betterdaze

    No endorsements here, but Women for Sobriety may be a worthwhile female-only environment to avoid the many challenges New Chapter mentions for women in AA. Instead of 12 steps, they have 13 affirmations which appear helpful for recovering JWs, too.

    Many links for "Non-cult Pro-Recovery" at http://www.orange-papers.org/. Again, cannot offer any endorsements but there's lots of non-AA resources to wade through there.

    Addicts typically eat poorly. Most suffer from nutritional deficiencies. Since your niece qualifies for government assistance, is it possible for her to access a nutritionist who can help her heal and rebuild her whole body? Rehab therapy and/or meds can only go so far if she is physically run down from the inside out. Fresh fruits and veggies, low carbs to avoid blood sugar swings, and plenty of water daily to stay hydrated are so key even for non-addicts. Maybe a vitamin/mineral or protein supplement? Women in particular need extra iron… and B-complex can do wonders for people under stress, yet alone recovering from addiction.

    WhereWasI, best wishes for strength and peace for your family as you advocate for your niece, and especially for her healthy outcome.

    ~Sue

  • JRK
    JRK

    There is always hope until she takes the dirt nap. Give her all the support that you can muster. Unless you have been there, you do not have the capacity to understand.

    JK

  • cskyjw.sun
  • WhereWasI
    WhereWasI

    cskyjw.sun: I missed your thought

    But anyway I thought I would let you know that tonight we had an "interventiony thing" as my great niece called it. She didn't quite like it when she realized what was going on. But there we were in my sisters living room. All of the people who loved her and cared about her, I'll just call her Nina. She cried and balked and resisted. But it went down very loving. She thought she was just stopping in to get some money her Ma had left her before going into detox. The lady who brought her there was the sister of the divorced partner who had adopted Nina. This lady was very articulate and good and came into town to take Nina out to lunch but then realized she was needed to make the "interventiony thing" happen and delivered her to my sisters house. So anyway it was a first step. Everything is in place for this girl but it is up to her to take the help. I think she might but not quite yet.

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    Unless you have been there, you do not have the capacity to understand.

    This.

    Be supportive, talk to the counsellors if possible. Ask what is needed and do that.

    I've been sober for six and half years. AA worked for me, I recognize that it might not for everybody. If somebody finds something else that works for them, good. This isn't a pissing match to see who has the best program.

    I wish the best for all of your family.

  • its_me!
    its_me!

    I learned in a Chemical Dependency class at my univ. about a method called motivational interviewing. It is client centered and encourages the client to come up with solutions that they think would work for them, set goals, and then aid them in reaching those goals, rather than telling them what to do. It also focuses on self-efficacy and empowerment. It focuses on victories, and does not emphasize failures, rather it looks at failures or relapses as part of the recovery process. It is a non-judgemental form of therapy, or should be if it is done right by a kind and compassionate counselor. I wonder if the center where your niece is going practices motivational interviewing.....

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