how do I identify a form of worship that meets all the criterea:
I only know of one Way, dear flame (peace to you!)... and that is Christ (John 14:6). The early disciples didn't find one another - Christ found THEM... and brought THEM together. HE sent them to whomever he chose, sent those he chose to them... and chose them all. They did not send themselves, find themselves, or choose themselves... or each other. He did say that others would KNOW who belonged to him (love among them... and holy spirit, which would "evidence" their choosing)... and who didn't (their "fruits").
Problem is... people... need people. Most, more than they need God. At least, they think they do. This is because people "validate" themselves in two very tangible ways... (1) based on what others believe/say/think about them, and (2) agreement with/by/from others (people like to hang out with those who think/believe as they do - it is a confirmation that they are on the "right" path: "All THOSE people believe it, so it MUST be true"). Unfortunately, the fact that many, even most, believe/think/agree as to something is not necessarily indicative of whether those who do are right. On many, many occasions, some even historically recorded, "people" were wrong. Very wrong.
The Most Holy One of Israel, however, "validates" people through His Son, by means of holy spirit. And those who go this route are primarily only concerned with what THAT One says/thinks. As you can guess... and history shows... this route (and the "gate" to it) is very "narrow" and walked by very few (in comparison to populations during their lifetime). And such ones often... very often... walk it alone, sometimes in the face of great opposition, sometimes even in the face of death.
The first requires walking by sight; folks need to SEE others who "believe" as they do. And the more "others" they SEE... the more they feel validated and their beliefs confirmed. The second, however, requires walking by faith - there is nothing to "see"... and no one to validate... other than Christ [the Copper Serpent]. Looking at, so as to "see", anything ELSE can actually cause one to "trip," "stumble," and even "fall" in their "walk." Seeing only Christ, though, and one's path can actually get brighter... and brighter. But this requires faith. Why? Because Christ is a spirit and thus not readily visible to the physical eye. Notice, I said readily.
Since most people walk by SIGHT versus by FAITH... something known by the Adversary... all manner of false "lights" have been established. Like a loud, boisterous woman, they "call" to mankind, particularly the "children of light". Unfortunately, like the "bug lights" they are, they are death-dealing. NOT because they kill the body - some do, some don't, But it isn't the physical body that the Adversary is after - it is the SPIRIT man that one is. He goal is NOT to kill your spirit... but to have YOU give up it willingly.
The voice of the TRUE Light, however, the Lamb of God, is not loud OR boisterous; it is low and quiet. Although animals can hear it, a human has to really pay attention. Because he is not an "in your face" kind of person (contrary to what religion teaches... and displays). Following that One, however, cannot be done in conjunction with others. While it is a wonderful thing to HAVE others who share the same hope and belief, it cannot be a REQUIREMENT. Because in that case, such one is subject to divided loyalty... and thus, following after others... and other "lights."
And that's were religion... and particularly cults... come in: they KNOW man's "need" for others, particularly his family. The Adversary knows this... that a man WILL have "greater love"... for father, mother, sister, brother, wife, husband, and child... and so uses this truth to divide even where love for Christ has not.
If one searches for God by going through the Door HE set up, though, one WILL be found. By that Door. But if one has greater love for others... one is going to have a very hard time. That is why my Lord said he came to put a sword, not peace. Because following the Lamb wherever HE goes... sometimes means "leaving father, mother, etc." But that is following the LAMB... not following the WTBTS, "Society", GB, Pope, Cardinal, priest, preacher, reverend, pastor, etc. Those who belong to God have only ONE Leader, ONE Shepherd, ONE Teacher. All of the others are strangers, indeed thieves and plunderers.
One that does follow that Lamb, however, puts themselves in line to SAVE not only himself... but his loved ones... through God's mercy. As Noah, Abraham, Rahab, and many others did. Perhaps not now, but certainly in the future. Everything that one "loses" in THIS life, however, they will receive BACK... double, tenfold, even a hundredfold... in the next.
There is no "where" to go, dear one. There is only a WHO to go away to: the Holy One of Israel and Holy Spirit, JAHESHUA, who is the Chosen One of JAH (MischaJah), the MOST Holy One of Israel.
I hope this helps... and, again, peace to you!
A slave of Christ,
SA