Pre-emptive shunning - a growing reality

by cedars 92 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  VampireDCLXV

  It's kinda funny that I was doing everything right, more or less, and I still got the shaft from people in my congregation. I DID attended meetings and field service regularly. I DID attend social functions and special visits from overseers. I DID NOT do much of anything that would be seen as outright inappropriate or questionable. People STILL talked behind my back and snubbed me like I had some communicable disease. All the "preemptive shunning" eventually made me depressed to the point where I HAD to stop attending FS and meetings eventually or end up in the local psych ward. It was only a sense of pure self preservation that forced me to stop my activities as a JW. I only started questioning and finding out the dirt on the WTS later on...

  V665
• 

  zeb

  "Associate with people who are likely to improve you."

  --Seneca.
• 

  zeb

  re beards.

  I had a beard once. It was tidy and a full beard in the manner of King george V. (Just so you get the picture).

  With no warning whatever the 'service meeting' on night was devoted entirely to beards. i was the only brother in the hall bearded.

  My wife in a rare display of support said she was offended by sisters turning up in strappy little bare all dresses.

  The elder doing the bashing had his daughter slink down in her seat as she was so dressed.

  Did Jesus have a beard?

  Whats the problem with beards? Why did Jesus design us males to have facial hair?

  Whats next, checks on Bikini line waxing?
• 

  erbie

  Yes jws, you are talking real sense. How refreshing.

  It is obvious to me that many who leave the org are struggling to find any real purpose in their lives and can only do so by castigating the WT for anything it may or may not do. My advice is as follows: If you chose to leave the WT org then you could have done it for any number of reasons, some right and some not so right. Nevertheless, you did leave and should, therefore, put it behind you and move on. This is difficult I know. However, I am firmly convinced that people who make it their own personal mission to undermine the WTS have not really left at all. In fact, they subconciously long for the peace of mind they once enjoyed and the purpose in life experienced by being a member of a world wide congregation of believers. As a result, the only contact they can have with the WTS is negative contact in the form of criticism. One must find purpose in the form of something else-something positive and creative. And if you can not find purpose in anything else then........that's probably answered the most important question you will ever ask yourself.

  Personally, I think there are a lot of ex elders on this site who long for the authority of speach they once enjoyed in the congregation but can now only chase shadows and misguided visions of idealism.

  I'm sorry, but that is the truth and we're stuck with it. I don't make the rules. I'll brace myself for an onslaught of abuse.

  erbie
• 

  cedars

  erbie - I'm not going to castigate you. Your message is simple - it's better to move on and leave it behind. I've said many times that my ambition one day is to arrive at a stage where I feel ready to do just that, and forget completely about the jw experience. When that time comes, I will feel no desire to frequent this forum, or to continue any action against the Society. However, that time has not yet come, and if in the meantime my actions will help people to get out of a destructive cult sooner rather than later, then I see them as being worthwhile. Of course, you are entitled to disagree.

  If you read what jws has written on this thread and the 2011 results thread, you will notice that he/she is in the habit of making assertions before being in full posession of the facts. For example, I devote a full 3 pages of my results PDF to a section entitled "shortcomings of the survey", and yet jws claims that I have been insinuating that my survey is "perfect". If he or she had gone to the trouble of reading the survey results before making such a forthright statement, then it may have spared some blushes. Again, if you think such behaviour is commendable, then who am I to berate you for this? We are all entitled to voice an opinion, which is part of the reason why I have set up the survey project.

  Cedars
• 

  Phizzy

  I think this thread is sliding a bit off topic, so I will just say that erbie is wrong on many counts, which I will address on another thread later.

  (see the thread "erbie" thinks you miss the WT do you? )

  To get back on topic, I have recently experienced pre-emptive shunning in a most horrible way, I will not give details as they may identify me, but sufficient to say that it is becoming a widespread practise, and it is much harsher than the old "marking" idea, which was not understood or used much by many JW's

  It is a worrying trend.
• 

  slimboyfat

  cedars is right we all need to determine the pace at which we distance ourselves from the Watchtower. I would add that we all get to decide on the direction as well as the pace. erbie seems to imply we must all aspire to the same destination immediately. Why so? If people want to travel a road for a while that attempts to help others to escape too what is wrong with that? Ironically, in the name of freedom, erbie ends up advocating a single course for everyone in an authoritarian manner resembling that which he ostensibly denounces.
• 

  cedars

  Thanks slimboyfat, and thanks to everyone who has given their experiences on this subject.

  It's nice to know that I'm not the only one being shunned, even though I've not been disfellowshipped.

  Cedars
• 

  00DAD

  Whatever you call it, the point is to try to determine how many are being shunned even though they have not formally Disassociated themselves and/or been Disfellowshipped.

  "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" - William Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet

  And shunning, "pre-emptive" or whatever the hell you want to call it sucks. It's a simple concept.

  I'm just sayin' is all.
• 

  myusername

  erbie, I agree because there will always be cults and corrupt organizations. Why focus on just one?