Latest May 2012 Watchtower: "JW wives must be more lovable" (page 5)

serenitynow!

oral sex is gay even if you are straight

I used to feel this way when I was a Dub. My mom was pretty adamant that oral sex was abhorrent, something that only prostitutes did.

cedars

As far as the article goes, I've now had the opportunity to "sleep on it". Here are my thoughts:

(1) What really surprises me about the "lovable" quote is that no attempt is made to balance the admonishment between husband and wife. Usually in this kind of article you will get one paragraph just for "the guys", quickly followed by another for the "gals" or vice versa. This paragraph effectively says that the husband is responsible to protect the wife physically and spiritually, but the onus is on the wife to make it easier for him by being more "lovable" - thus effectively freeing the husband of any responsibility if the wife isn't "lovable" enough. I find it truly shocking that the counsel is weighted so heavily towards the wife in all of this. When you consider this counsel in the light of the "Selma and Steve" experience, it would seem the Society is shifting into an increasingly overt mysoginistic stance when it comes to the roles of husbands and wives.

(2) Is it just me, or does this Watchtower, taken as a whole, represent a response to the recent online criticism of the Feb 15th "Selma and Steve" article? Think about it. The first article lunges in with the theme "Do you appreciate God's gift of marriage?", reinforcing the significance of marriage and the role that marriage mates have to play. Later on in the article we get this mysognisitic "wives should be lovable" stance, which may be a nod to the Selma and Steve experience.

By the way, here is the same paragrah in the "simplified" version:

A wife who follows Bible counsel and is guided by God’s holy spirit can do much to make her home a place of peace and happiness. It is natural that a Christian husband loves his wife and wants to protect her. A Christian wife wants to be loved, so she shows qualities that help her husband love her even more. “The truly wise woman has built up her house,” says Proverbs 14:1, “but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” A wise and loving wife does much for the success and happiness of her family. She shows that she really appreciates God’s gift of marriage.

We then get another study article "Take a Positive View of a Strained Marriage", which reinforces the idea that the marital bond should be preserved at all costs, even if the husband is abusive to his wife. The article quotes 1 Peter 3:1,2 quite prominently on page 10, and if I didn't know any better, I would say the whole article was meant as a rebuttal of my blog article "Won Without a Word - At What Cost?"

The final two articles, "Trust in Jehovah - the God of Times and Seasons" and "Are you reflecting the glory of Jehovah?" reinforce the need for loyalty, and repeat the recently-given counsel that witnesses should avoid viewing apostate material on the internet, or getting into debates with apostates.

Am I the only one who thinks its all a bit too much of a coincidence?

Cedars

nugget

This article is reinforcing the idea of subjection the wife needs to earn the right to be loved. Husbands are naturally predisposed to show fine qualities but it is the wife who determines whether she will receive love and protection. There is also the implication that if the wife is not loved then she is the one who has failed, if she had behaved appropriately the husband would not have had any difficulty expressing affection, but because she has not then the husbands natural instincts have been over ridden.

The husband is thus absolved on all counts. If he doesn't love his wife it is not his fault it is hers. If he abuses her then again she drove him to it. The wife is left with no support and only the admonishment to be more loving since the solution to all her woes is in her hands. It saddens me that women are wasting their lives on abusive, selfish men, putting their lives and mental well being at risk because they think that this sort of nonsense comes from God and all will be well. Elders are not being equipped to deal with marital problems in a meaningful way and are in real danger of doing more harm than good.

You are right that there is no balancing not even the thought of earning respect although these points are usually limited to providing for the family physically and spiritually. No wonder so many witness marriages are full of regret.

wha happened?

The oral sex thing was funny to me. The brother who I studied with was newly baptized and rough around the edges. He was concerned he wouldn't have answer for me so he would invit elders to my study. Well what would often happen is that he had questions and then the elder would deal with his questions. Our studies would go for hours as a result. Well the no oral sexo thing came up and the brother says "I didn't know that. Why not?" Well the elder doesn't want to tackle that but I'm curious now, so he's forced to deal with it. The brother conducting challenges the elder on his answer. They're going back and forth and the elder is getting really pissed off because he really can't provide anything more than a principal, and the entire exchange happened in front of me.

Joe Grundy

This is just a thought - I can't back it up with evidence and it's based on my assumptions and experience.

WTBTS seems to be putting a lot of effort into their work in developing countries where (this is a generalisation) there tend to be less-developed critical thinking skills and less of a tendency to question those who appear to be in a position of authority. In some of those countries (e.g. those in SE Asia) the sort of thinking shown in the articles about 'serving the husband' and so on would be much more acceptable than in the more liberated 'western' countries.

When I was living in Cyprus I observed that those dubs who employed Filipina 'housemaids' tended to take them to meetings and there were quite a number of Bible Studies going on with SEA ladies. My dub friends were very keen to bring Tagalog magazines to my (now estranged) wife. She - although an educated woman - was not discerning enough to recognise any difference between the dubs and the religion in which she had been brought up (Methodist) and any 'Christian' religion was all the same to her, as it was to many of her friends.

Had I been religious she would have followed me into a religion without a second thought. (The mags went into the bin).

As for the other part of it, her ostensible mission in life was to make and keep her husband happy and I believe from my experience with other SEA ladies that this is a cultural thing. And in my experience any prohibitions/limitations as to sex life would not be easily accepted.

Just my thoughts.

Band on the Run

Why don't men have to be loveable? You are always found wanting. The quote from Proverbs is meaningless. It is so sparse. Written by a man.

jean-luc picard

She yearns for his love....

Sounds like a quote from the middleages. How they respect womenfolk (not)

maisha

Joe you got it bang on,,, the most increase is now in the african countries and asisan countries.

Women there are either muslim or christian and are taught to serve the man as the head.

They are taught that certain sexual positions are not normal from those base religions, of course doggy is best if serving a priest

as it teaches the correct position in order for oral to be performed later.

Jw's in those countries are not aware of any contradictions, and have no real idea of apostacy form the likes of us on this site..

they blindly go about their daily lives attending meetings and few really coming to a full knowledge about life.

shall i continue? lol

Joe Grundy

maisha: I'm not quite sure how to take your post.

IME, reverse cowboy interlock is the favoured position because it allows the woman a greater degree of control.

maisha

Lol that because you are in a western country.... lol

african culture, asian submission cultures are bend over and kneel.. simply not there to please any woman!.

can you please send me a description of that position, it could be helpful when giving counsel to some younger wives,

i may have to give some personal instruction.

thanks

Latest May 2012 Watchtower: "JW wives must be more lovable"

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