marriage without affection/sex/touching

by zeb 67 Replies latest social relationships

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  Nice_Dream

  thecrushed - w83 3/15 pg 31

  "...What, though, if one mate wants or even demands to share with his or her partner in what is clearly a perverted sex practice? The above-presented facts show that porneia involves unlawful sexual conduct outside the marital arrangement. Thus, a mate’s enforcing perverted acts, such as oral or anal sex, within the marriage would not constitute a Scriptural basis for a divorce that would free either for remarriage. Even though a believing mate is distressed by the situation, yet that one’s endeavor to hold to Scriptural principles will result in a blessing from Jehovah. In such cases it may be helpful for the couple to discuss the problem frankly, bearing in mind especially that sexual relations should be honorable, wholesome, an expression of tender love. This certainly should exclude anything that might distress or harm one’s mate.—Ephesians 5:28-30; 1 Peter 3:1, 7.
  As already stated, it is not for elders to “police” the private marital matters of couples in the congregation. However, if it becomes known that a member of the congregation is practicing or openly advocating perverted sex relations within the marriage bond, that one certainly would not be irreprehensible, and so would not be acceptable for special privileges, such as serving as an elder, a ministerial servant or a pioneer. Such practice and advocacy could even lead to expulsion from the congregation. Why?"

  When my parents came into "the truth" in the 80s, the couple studying with them told them they needed to stop having oral sex because it wasn't allowed. That would have been a red flag for me! Too bad I grew up thinking it was so evil and sinful. So happy not to feel that way anymore.

  Sorry to hear about your situation Zeb. Did your wife tell you why she didn't want to read the books? Would she read a Dr. Laura Berman book? Is she depressed? My sex life is a work in progress, but it has definitely improved since abandoning my previous limiting religious beliefs.
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  Fernando

  Surprisingly sometimes a small bit of sanity prevails in an article published by the spiritually blind, confused, inebriated and insane Sanhedrin (Governing Body):

  *** w72 12/15 p. 768 Questions From Readers ***
  This clearly marks a correction in the view expressed on previous occasions in the columns of this magazine, but faithful adherence to what the Scriptures actually say requires it.

  This is an admission that previous views were unfaithful to scripture and God, hence apostate.
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  Eremis77

  I feel so sorry for those of you who've had to deal with issues like this.

  I was both a JW and a Mormon, for a few years each, but it was while I was young and still single, so I never had to deal with marriage restrictions on sex. If I hadn't heard about those ahead of time I'd likely have been furious. Yet more "teachings of men" that make no sense.

  "You tell me that God gave us these bodies capable of great physical pleasure, okay. Then you say we have to restrain ourselves outside of marriage, fine. But THEN you tell me even AFTER marriage you're going to dictate exactly what we can and can't do to please our spouse? F$*%. YOU."
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  zeb

  Havent looked at this thread for some time..

  So Im damned if i do and damned if i dont. So what wever i do for her is her rightful due even if she is a negative cow. If i stop doing and paying then I am just a typical male b******. From where did women get this line of belief? The ones at work are just the same!

  Before I die i would like to see her face the reality of what she has done and the sadnesses she has caused. Talk about being a good witness.!

  She must believe as do many sisters who deny intimacy that no one else knows. The F***wits! They do all the witnessing work and treat their men and the Joy of Sex with utter disdain and think no one else knows? God knows. Other people those horrible 'worldly people' know as the somber sadness one carries in the day is often apparent to others.

  Such no sex please sister should keep in mind that an awful lot of women are going to be resurrected from many generations past and they were sexually liberated and vigorous. Do these no sex sisters of today think quoting ad nauseum or bashing the WTS doctrines over a mans head is going to keep him in line then?

  I have one tiny advantage and that is i have maintained through all this a couple of interests (hobbies if you like) that have kept me sane and given me a sense of achievment that no amount of 'kingdom service' could ever bring.

  Let the matter rest here folks but my utmost sumpathies to anyone in the same situation.
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  zeb

  Heres a thought. It was Jesus who made us all ok? Can you imagine the WTS doing a talk on the wonder of the human body and going into detail about the little miracle that is the clitorus with its thousands of nerve endings that go right up into the female body and the only organ of the human body designed just to give .....pleasure..thats one great invention Jesus!

  Good grief, someone quizz the GB and see if they know what the clitoris is?
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  Band on the Run

  Did not some Bible Students circa Russell contract for sexless marriages? It sounds familiar. Yet Paul wrote that married people should not be celibate. I know why Roman Catholic man who became paralyzed after an accident. He met a woman and they loved each other. They went for Catholic premarriage arrangements and the priest said he could not marry such a travesty.

  I don't think it lasted long. It just seems familiar.

  My generation had that great manual, The Joy of Sex. The Witnesses have the Agony of Sex.
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  Pams girl

  They take away freedom of choice in sex, as they do in every other area of life. Sad, but true. They turn something beautiful into something to be guilty over, sordid, dirty........shame on them. Whether you believe its a God given desire to have sex, something natural, in-built in us, or something in - built that evolved in us, the JW still manage to turn it into something to be ashamed of.

  Shame on them I say.

  Paula, off to have sex with my husband, on the sofa, lights on, doggy style. Kiss it Whooville!
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  DesirousOfChange

  Reminds me of my friend that once considered going into the Catholic priesthood. After two full years at the monastary, giving careful and serious deliberation about the required vows of celibacy and poverty, he concluded he could never live his life under those conditions.

  He left the priesthood and instead got marred.

  Came to learn that he could have been a priest afterall.

  Doc
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  Band on the Run

  A close friend heard from a high school classmate. He wanted to go on a date. She was enthusiastic. Towards the end of the date, he revealed that he was entering the priesthood. The seminary made every accepted applicant go on a single date with any woman to experience normal life. Her wrath was enormous. The false pretenses.

  I've read that during the Middle Ages throughout Europe, clergy marriage was accepted. So were mistresses. People trusted the counsel of regular priests over celibate ones. Don't know the whole story. I notice that Borgia's family was publicly acknowledged. SHO-like Jeremy Irons but it could be a bit better.
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  zeb

  Thanks 'Found sheep'. ( and a nice face too if i may say) a kiss on each cheek.

  I have taken some leave recently. I have done home upgrades repairs. No thanks of course after all its my job isnt it. I have not been to a meeting in many months now. I didnt go to the memorial being the first one I have missed in a life time apart from illness.

  Well for all the meetings she attends and all the study the dvd,'s the field service she is a cranky non communicating miserable cow. I can well imagine why.

  "Hes not here? Well you have to get him along its so important'... will be stated in one of several ways most likely EVERY time she attends a meeting, a convention a field service journey.

  After all people only go to the KH to see who IS NOT there. To check on the dress code etc.

  If a sister phones then its "Hah, ha ha" all light and care free. chat chat chat and I have realized that SO MANY others have the same behaviour. All fun fun fun positive happy on the surface but are most likely utterly sad, unfullfilled and probably clinically depressed. This is what she has become.

  I saw a entry somewhere that described the 'Armageddon family' that lives in a time warp of no creativity, no quality of living standard with no creative side and all gloom and doom about the latest tv news and 'that means....' well we have all met them the hard core JW that live by the society for the society and of the society; ( and I have noticed a high level of constant and serious illness) which then betrays that 'loyalty' in the court rooms or when as I did find out your children have been sex abuse victims by a brother.

  (and then you learn of the cover ups going on all over )

  But I have loving friends, contacts, and interests. and most of all an immaculately clean conscience. Yo!

  My love to you all.

  Could someone tell me how to do a pm please.